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Dad Shoots Daughter's Laptop: Good Parenting?
Olivia_WebMD_Staff posted:
It's been all over the news for the past several days: A dad posted a video on Facebook of him shooting his daughter's laptop in order to teach her a lesson in respect.

In your opinion was this a good way for a parent to make a point?

Why or why not?
waskasmomma replied to jis4judy's response:
There still has to be a consequence for her actions. I still agree with what he did. When WE were young, our anger and outbursts were not earthshattering or worldwide like hers was. She still did wrong and was warned. She is the wrong one here-her dad had had enough and she was punished. Back in the day we got wacked on the butt (or worse). She was punished in the way of our world nowdays. We've set the punishment in this era-we can't spank, hit or otherwise 'embarras' our kids-crap on that. She got what she deserved. And most kids are raised in a split family-can't use that old excuse anymore. It is what it is.
waskasmomma replied to An_241873's response:
taytaybabygirl replied to jpinmiss's response:
LOL! I think that this story is hilarious. Good for him. Kids these days are SO dependent on facebook. Kudos!
p.s. He probably paid for that computer...what a waste lol.
CyberBear53 responded:
He certainly taught to his daughter the wrong lesson on how to resolve family issues. He obviously was very angry and was not able to control his own emotions and feelings.

Not having all the facts of the situation, I refrain from offering a sound alternative; nonetheless, violence is never the answer.

Positive reinforcement does work and requires a good measure of patience. Although difficult when being challenged by our children, we need to cultivate graciousness and restraint when dealing with them, without being permissive.
brunosbud replied to Jimmybuck's response:
Did you use exploding rounds by chance??? I hear it blows up real good...
hawgboss responded:
Yes Parents need to set limits and mean what they say
An_243457 replied to AAgradillas's response:
I agree with AAgradillas and I definitely agree with the Dad. Today, kids think we, as parents, owe them everything. As long as we feed them, clothe them and give them shelter, they need to learn the value of respect for their parents and the value of a dollar. If they are old enough to work, then they should get their lazy ass out and look for a job and stop thinking that Mommy and Daddy will buy them everything. When I was a kid, I had chores to do and when I was old enough to get a job, I did. Maybe, when she finally gets a job, she will have more respect for her parents and appreciate anything she has to buy with her own money.
JunkyPostoffice replied to arbob5's response:
I assume you have never been angry, nor have you ever destroyed anything in your life. Like you have never tossed out an item you no longer needed or chewed on a pen due to stress.

If I buy something with my money and want to destroy it who are you to say how i can or can not destroy that item.

The complete removal of the computer is just as good of a tactic as giving it back gradually. Why does she need it back. Take it from someone who has "supervised" the computer activity as a child, they will resent you for that "Lack of privacy"

The fact is its non of our business, just because you eat apples and I dont doesnt make me wrong. and just because he shoots his computer instead of sending it to a recycle center doesn't make him wrong.
JunkyPostoffice responded:
The question should not be was this good parenting, the question should be why should we be allowed to judge what others do with the items the bought.

Spare the Rod spoil the child. This system has worked for hundreds of years and rarely fails. We now live in a society that disagrees with this, and that's why we get children like her.

Who are we to interject how someone else chooses to discipline a child that was not directly abused. Sure he abused the heck out of that computer but so what unless that computer had artificial intelligence software running who cares how he dealt with the computer.
It did however have a profound effect on the child, as she now knows what happens should she defy her father again.
I raised my children with this in mind, the one who makes the money makes the rules. As a child you live off my income thus I make the rules, when you can provide yourself with your own shelter you no longer need my rules and can make your own.
Seams to me this father was teaching those exact ideal using bullets instead of words.
JunkyPostoffice responded:
Puts a whole new meaning to the term "Sticking to your guns" doesn't it.
dmac72587 replied to waskasmomma's response:
They were on a talk show (not sure what one) but the daughter said that she learned a valuable lesson and understands why her dad did what he did. She admitted that she was being ungrateful and that she deserved it. They said that the two of them sat down later and talked about what happened and why and she is ok with everything. He said that he is very proud of how she is handling this.
shannielee74 responded:
I have a 17yo who had developed a rather "entitled" attitude. Until last summer I had been a single parent for 7 years. I work hard to provide just the necessities for my kids. Tax returns each year paid for things like 1 year of cell phone service up front. My daughter has learned the value of money. However, when she earned her drivers license a year ago she suddenly decided I was made of money and needed to buy her a car, put gas in it and keep it insured for her. I did get her the car, but she had to get a job to pay me back. She found out that if she didn't have money for gas that she couldn't drive it and she has to pay her portion of the car insurance. Needless to say, she was angry. She did get a job and has been working for nearly a year now. In fact, over the summer she worked 2 jobs so she could have 'fun money' and money to buy a better car.
Now she has decided because she works and goes to school that means that she no longer has to do chores. Yes, she pays her own bills, has her own cell phone and has even bought her own laptop now. However, she lives in my house and under my rules. Much to her surprise recently, I began taking her phone and laptop at 10pm every night. She was staying up late to chat/text then complaining the next day about being tired. When she spoke to her dad (who lives out of state) he laughed and said that she needed to follow house rules. So we have the pissed off teen stomping around the house. I showed her this video and there has been a huge attitude adjustment. She asked if I'd ever do something like that and I let her know that if pushed I would.
Parents need to quit paying for the fancy cell phones, laptops, iPods and other goodies for their kids. Make them earn the money for it. They'll be better off when they get out on their own if they understand how money works. My parents didn't do that for me. I grew up well off and found myself on welfare as an adult because I didn't know how to handle money.
I get wanting to give your child more than you had, but it's gone too far. My kids each get a month where I hand them the money for all the bills and they have to 'pay' them. They no longer ask for expensive items but save up for what they want.
brunosbud replied to shannielee74's response:
Wonderful post, ms. shannielee.

When you're daughter is your age, now, she will remember these times and, she will not be able to do enough to help you when you need it most...

and, your granddaughter will be watching...
fit4sake replied to jis4judy's response:
Dad should not replace anything, the Doctor Spock philosophy turned out to be disasterous. Is about accountability, we have a generation making excuses for everything including some parents. GET OVER IT
campingfriend responded:
I'm not sure if shooting a lap top is the best solution. I know some of us cheered as if out team just scored. However, I work with teenagers and young adults. If they loose there cell phone or it breaks they go into crisis mode. They lack social skills, living skills, and lack of a work ethic. Most act if everything should be given to them without earning it. Futhermore, most fail in self- respect, respect of people, and property. If we all work together, we can guide our teens and young adults to a sucessful career and life.

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