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Dad Shoots Daughter's Laptop: Good Parenting?
Olivia_WebMD_Staff posted:
It's been all over the news for the past several days: A dad posted a video on Facebook of him shooting his daughter's laptop in order to teach her a lesson in respect.

In your opinion was this a good way for a parent to make a point?

Why or why not?
Anon_475 responded:
If this was an illustration of the way he parented her then he should have taken parenting lessons years ago. Kids (at age 15) are the direct result of how we raised them.

If he's lucky, he might just have time to learn to teach her about respect, responsability, and all the rest while learning that a child needs support, love and education. Kids don't raise themselves and if their parents don't know how to and don't get help then they should face the result of their "parenting" and accept their responsability.

Frankly, putting bullets in a computer is just a show of bullying.

Kids today are the direct result of the way their parents did or did not parent them. Face it.
mudbuggy69 responded:
I think it was great what he did!!! Teach the selfsish brat a lesson. More parents need to step up and show the lazy kids of today that you just cant sit on your butt and have other people take care of you.
Anon_475 replied to mudbuggy69's response:
If more people stepped up and actually parented their children this kind of situation need never arise ... Raise your children, people! Don't wait until it's too late to teach them respect and responsability! If you don't like the way they turn out ask yourself where you were and what you were doing while they were getting that way. It doesn't happen overnight!

However, as many think that parenting just means keeping a roof over their head and buying them what they need kids like this will continue to be.
TomNeal replied to jis4judy's response:
Hey, Jis4Judy;

The point here is not whether the father should replace the laptop.
The point here is that the father should have put his daughter first by teaching her how to effectively manage conflict.
Think about it Jis4Judy, this guy just taught his daughter to handle conflict with a gun!
Hopefully, the father will rethink his approach, apologize to the daughter, and teach her that the effective way to handle conflict is for people to talk . . . not shoot . . . to resolve their differences.

Thanks for listening,

Tom Neal
SamSimone replied to An_241873's response:
good for him
jb2012 responded:
It was such an explosive reaction that I think it would have been better to have given himself the 'count-to-ten thingy to gime himself time to cool off, and I also think that he would have been better off to have started disciplinary actions toward her at a much younger age - by age 15 she had already been pretty set in her ways, don't you think?
mrsdmarie responded:
I thought it was great! This dad obviously needed a strong action to get his daughter's attention and by embarrassing her and damaging his own property, he didn't hurt anyone else. There are too many young people today that are ungrateful and feel entitled to whatever they want and see no problem with being disrespectful. If we as parent's don't step up, what will kids like her be as adults?
TomNeal replied to mrsdmarie's response:
Come on, mrsdmarie;

You must be kidding . . . you thought it was great that a grown man, a father, thought the best way to handle a conflict with his teenage daughter was to pull out a .45 and shoot a laptop?
How can that be great?
If you believe that the father's tantrum with a deadly weapon will have a positive effect on his relationship with his daughter, I shudder to think what course of action you'd suggest for the father the next time the daughter gets out of line.

Thanks for listening,

Tom Neal
angelvixon replied to An_241873's response:
I think what you said was waaay out of line and wrong. Teens these days have alot of stress and peer pressure, and then if you put split parents and step parents on top of that, that teen could be feeling very alone, unwanted or god knows what, maybe the parents are always fighting and always ignoring her. You have know right to judge her unless you can say you've walked a mile in her shoes, which you can't, cuz you don't know what she is going through. Perhaps that was her only outlet, her way of trying to tell her parents something that they may otherwise not listen. Try taking Psych 101
angelvixon responded:
I don't think it was a good idea at all. Seems like this dad needs a lesson in anger therapy, as well as parenting classes to find out what children go through at what stages in life. All parents go through a rough patch with there children as they're growiing up, we did with our parents, they did w/theirs and so on and so on. Perhaps he ought to try talking and listening to his daughter and find out what is bothering her.. Sounds like she is more of an adult than he is. God help this child.
An_241873 replied to angelvixon's response:
ok you really want to know why I can say that? 1. I have had 3 different mothers. first was my biological mother who left me at 3 and basically didn't want me until I had to find her to establish the relationship. second was ten years older than me and not a role model herself being so young although she tried. third was a person who not only was the reason I lost my first step mother but also a raging alcoholic who abused me. the first step mom showed up when I was 10. so I was preteen but the second showed up at 12 and I was stuck with her till I moved out at 21 and gor married. I dealt with a crazy brow beating alcoholif self absorbed abusing step mother for 9 years!!!! and I didn't blame my father for putting me in that position because we had no idea who she was until theywere married. do you want to know what else? i never EVER acted or said anything against my father or step mother like this young girl did. so just because she has split parents and is a teen gives her NO RIGHT to act in such a way or to say anything like she did. Don't you ever "assume" I didn't " walk a mile in her shoes" cause guess what? I did AND THEN SOME!
lshaver30 responded:
I am on the fence on this one. On one hand I can see the reasoning behind it. Children today do not seem to understand what respect is and posting what she did on Facebook was highly disrepectful. Yes, she may have been upset and felt like too much work had been piled on her, and I imagine she exaggerated a bit. The language she used and the manner in which she vented was unacceptable in my opinion.
On the other hand, while I don't think what he did was violent in nature it could been seen to some as wrong. He was angry, and he had a right to be. I would personally just take the computer away or give it away, but I don't think I would shoot it. However, I am sure he got his point across to his daughter and she will get over the loss of her laptop. If she wants to post that kind of stuff online, then dad is right, buy your own. Don't make me pay for something you are going to use to be disrepectful to me.
An_243561 responded:
Bottom line: I understand his frustration with his daughter's disrespectful viewpoint. However, I also see her point judging by his overkill in this situation. Children have to learn responsibility just like their parents did at some point in their lives, and it doesn't come overnight. The age of fifteen is just touching the iceberg on real life issues for most kids. They have to grow into understanding the responsibilities placed on adults, but not at the risk of being humiliated in front of their peers. Not to mention, he might need to spend a little more time with her in trying to realize her schedule and help her evaluate why she feels like she's really stressed out...maybe help her see if she has a accurate viewpoint or not. I mean, judging by how most schools are much more advanced now than what we grew up with, she could literally be overwhelmed with school or other things (sports?), not to mention a social life is HUGE to a kid at 15. The parent was right to take away the thing she used to disrespected her parents with...shooting it, however, was overkill and just makes him look like a controlling bullying parent. He could've stepped on it, or something. Putting 8 holes in it just made him look like a 'wanna be' Rambo. The most important thing I picked up on was that he heard her, but wasn't actually 'hearing' her. There's something deeper going on here, and it's his responsibility as a 'loving parent' to find out. As for the comment of the parent being in IT, and the child was essentially 'stupid' for thinking she could bypass his wisdom, that just added to tha anger of this already damaged relationship. She needs to be heard, but he was right to take away the thing she used to disrespect him. Retaliation on both their parts, however, will just keep adding fuel to this fire.
plzhearme replied to An_243561's response:
Man, I'm good aren't I? Now if my spellcheck would just work!
plzhearme replied to An_243561's response:
From DMAC72587 (pg. 3 of blog) - "They were on a talk show (not sure what one) but the daughter said that she learned a valuable lesson and understands why her dad did what he did. She admitted that she was being ungrateful and that she deserved it. They said that the two of them sat down later and talked about what happened and why and she is ok with everything. He said that he is very proud of how she is handling this."

Oh yea! She's great at manipulation and trying to walk on eggshells to gain what she needs, and he's trying to justify his attempt to be Chuck Norris in "Walker Texas Ranger". WRONNGG! Guarantee they'll be at each other again in a few months. This was just an attempt to disguise the truth by "All is well that ends well." Malarkey! Sure would be nice to see somebody in this issue 'get real'.

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