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Sex with a Bully
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FREE2B_ME posted:
Hi, I'm new I really don't know if I'm in the right spot, s'one lead me to the right place if I'm not...Im 40+ attractive, very sexual. Married 19yrs to the town bully. He comes from a well known "Church" family that I used to respect... until after the one tme phys. (May 09) abuse they said the house was big enough for the both of us. He is a well known businessman that has e'one fooled. Right now I deal with the mental,verbal. Sex is not violate...the fact is when it comes time to have sex I cry...When I get the vmail... I take the long way home...When it happens I feel sick, I cringe, I feel like I'm being raped, I have even thrown up....The fact is I love sex, and I miss enjoying sex.... I know people have sex with people w/out feelings involved all the time. So can a'one tell me how to get thru HAVING SEX WITH A BULLY until........I have spoken to a lawyer, but I have no friends/family/$$$$ to help me get out.
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jethro38 responded:
look up the phone number of the local womens shelter. call them. they will help you.they will give you a place to stay where he can not find you. NO ONE should put up with abuse. get out while you are still alive. I have spoken to women that were in your place and the womens shelter helped them get out. my prayers are with oyu. email me if I can be of ANY Help. jethro
 
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FREE2B_ME responded:
My right hand on my grandmothers' grave, His father "volunteers " at our local women's shelter, I had them all right where I wanted them back in May. My fault I didn't follow thru....
 
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mhtyler2 responded:
You're not seriously asking how you can learn to enjoy sex with an abusive spouse. You need to find a way out. NO friends at all? A shelter may be your choice, would that be worse than your present situation?
 
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MerryContrary responded:
Something I learned the other day---always--keep a cell phone with you and be ready to call 911 if you have to. Protect your self first.
 
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mhtyler2 responded:
"My right hand on my grandmothers' grave, His father "volunteers " at our local women's shelter, I had them all right where I wanted them back in May. My fault I didn't follow thru...." What does this mean, and how does it apply to your situation?
 
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mom_2_5_yo_gavin responded:
Ok I Know I'm younger then you but please listen to me there are other shelters out there not just the ones in your area go out of your town or call the police rape is rape married or not charge him with it or simply call a shelter out side of your town let them know what is going on and they will take you ill pray for you ~kara~
 
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FREE2B_ME responded:
A post was made...for me to call the local women's shelter....His father volunteers at our local womens' shelter. I made the statement because noone would beleive me.when I say he v'teers there knowing his son's actions..When the incident occured... they all were so apologetic .....but I should have follwed thur with my plans of exposing their family. once again if there is another place for me to post this someone let me know...
 
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lamarcoffeeman responded:
let me be right up front. if you want to be serious and do something about it, then write me in confidence. i specialize in this. somehere just think i write for the heck of it and get girls names and addresses but nope, not at all. im for real and i have people to vouch for me. ive been in the business of helping for a long long time. just write me lamarcoffeeman@yahoo.com ill be more than happy to help you get help and expose the people behind this. im in the process of doing it to a social security dept in the child support section to two people. thanks. huggybear
 
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FCL responded:
What was the "incident" you're referring to? OK, so his father volunteers (why the inverted commas round the word, what exactly does he do?) at the shelter. So what. He's only a volunteer. These places are run by serious associations. Go to the shelter and tell them i immediately about your family situation and your FIL. They are there to help you. This has nothing to do with exposing your family (the people at shelters don't publicize who comes to them nor why they are there - that would be totally unethical and the sort of thing that could get them closed down) and everything to do with your safety. By the way, you don't b have to have sex with him just because he demands it. If you say no and he persists then it becomes rape... and you can press charges. Stop finding reasons not to do anything. If you value your health, your sanity, your life ... do something about it NOW. Youi could also post this on the Couples Coping board. You'll find it at: boards.webmd.com/webx?50@@.5987f416
 
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MerryContrary responded:
Write to him (lamarcoffeeman). He can help. You have nothing to loose.
 
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FCL responded:
I agree with MerryContrary. I'd also be happy to vouch for lamarcoffeeman. I've known him for over 10 years ...
 
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lamarcoffeeman responded:
great advice FCL and thanks Contrary Merry. chow. huggybear
 
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ajl901 responded:
FREE, You're not protecting yourself, or him, or his family or anyone else by keeping this secret. Your safety comes first. Get out, call a shelter, call the police. The only thing you are doing is enabling his behavior by not telling anyone. And if you let it continue and you are hurt or God forbid, worse, then the next woman in his life is in for the same treatment. In fact, look at it this way; If you rat him out and expose this horrible situation, you are taking the first step to stopping it. You don't mention any children, but if you have any and they are experiencing this, the boys will learn to abuse and the girls will learn to enable and accept this behavior in their future partners. No one should have to suffer from being bullied or abused. Life is far too short and unpredictable. Get out; there are shelters and advocacy groups that will help if you don't have any money. It will be rough, but losing your dignity, your health and well being and maybe your life is a lot more final.
 
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mommie12356 responded:
I would be very carefull about who you meet and trust online.That may be more of a threat then anything else.


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