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overly wet vagina during sex
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killowat posted:
I get so wet that I am afraid there isn't enough friction to pleasure my partner, what can I do and I also ejaculate so that adds to the wetness
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blake_valentine responded:
As a guy, I'm not sure being too wet would be a problem. Lots of couples use lube, and your vaginal wetness could not be slipperier than that. Now, are you asking because your partner has trouble climaxing, or doesn't climax as quickly as he used to, or as quickly as other men you have been with?
 
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killowat replied to blake_valentine's response:
he has retrograde ejaculation, or so I think, he has never ejaculated with me orally or otherwise, kind of funny I ejaculate easily kind of a switch there, I get the bed soaking wet at times, it has always been easy for me to reach an orgasm and he is great at taking me to an orgasm letting me calm down a little and get me into a bigger orgasm and he can do that 3-4 times until I am just blind, shaking and having spasms that are uncontrollable for a while and just really go crazy with the feeling, some times I almost pass out from the feeling, but I would like to have him be satisfied too, he doesn't seem to care if he climaxes or not, but I care, I wonder if I am just not able to satisfy him, oral sex is great, I love it, and can deep throat him, he gets very aroused with that, but no ejaculating, sometimes it is as if he has the feeling but not the ejaculation, any ideas, I will try anything, I love sex and for me there is nothing about it I won't try except nothing that gives me pain,
 
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SUPdude responded:
You make it sound like it's a bad thing. Enjoy youself.
 
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darth_brooks responded:
As a man, I find that incredibly sexy. I wouldn't be ashamed.
Enjoy the sex.

First thing is first as far as his ejaculation...

DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY!!!!

Secondly...

DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY!!!!!

Some 5% of men suffer from this and you and him both need to try to not shut down sex because of it. Don't view it as a "problem" you need to overcome..or else it will become a REAL PROBLEM.

Many things can cause this. Is he taking medications?
anything for cardiovascular, and/or anxiety/depression?

Is he over anxious during sex?

Do you stimulate his mind as well?

I know for me when my girlfriend and i are sexual the more emotional it is the better it is.

So, please don't take it personally.
Try to figure out the cause of his "retarded ejaculation"
(im sorry thats the actual term)
And try to not let it ruin your relationship outside the bedroom.


And again, as far as the wetness and female ejaculation I say "congrats"....its sexy and beautiful!



Keep us posted!
 
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killowat replied to darth_brooks's response:
have added something new to our sex experience, I put a small light on so I can watch and he watches too, he loved deep throat and I am able to do that but not for very long, have to stop often, am claustrophobic and when I can't breathe or think I can't I get so panicked, since we have begun doing this I can tell he has the feeling of climaxing he will get extremely hard and then quickly go soft, it is hard to get him to tell me what he really likes, he doesn't talk I have to ask him, and from what I have been able to gather he just hasn't had sex very often with somebody who will attend to his needs it seems it has more or less been him giving pleasure and not getting various attentions, like oral sex, and I intend to remedy that, I love making love with him and as far as I am concerned if we both enjoy the different things we do there is no limit, and the look in his eyes and the expressions on his face are really exciting to me, he is such a gentle but thorough lover and he really turns me on, never been like this, but one kiss from him and my knees buckle, am surprised I am 73 years old and all of this is like brand new, after all these years, so at any age sex can be so wonderful and sometimes we have sex 3 times a night always twice, morning sex is great and he is so thoughtful lol he brushes his teeth and comes back to bed no morning breath here, what more could a woman want, he really sees to my needs
 
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veryinquisitive replied to killowat's response:
Does it bother your partner that he doesn't ejaculate? It sounds like you've got a great sex life where both think about arousing the other before themselves or arousing the other, arouses you too.

I love tending to my lover. I love hearing his reactions & noises the more I please him. It also makes me all the hotter when I make him hotter.

And age doesn't make the difference. I'm 57 & my lover is 38. It's the emotional feelling you have towards each other & pleasing each other that's important. Most of the problems in this discussion involve two people with different sexual appetites trying to change their partner. It's great to hear that there are still couples who have equal appetites for sex.

And yes, my lover's kisses make me weak in the knees & he knows it. One of these days I'll have an orgasm with just kissing or pass out & die from the exciting sex. Can't wait!
 
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Taximan283 replied to killowat's response:
Congratulations on having such a great sex life at 73. We all should be so lucky. But since you said that, I have to ask you, how old is this man? As we men get older, sometimes ejaculation becomes very hard, almost impossible. But that doesn't mean we aren't enjoying the sex, we are. You were also asked if he's on any meds for his heart, and especially High Blood pressure? Some of those HBP meds can do 1 or 2 things. One is make ejaculation almost impossible, but 2, make it become a dry ejaculation. In which case you may not realize he just had an orgasm. You women are so accustomed to having seaman spurt out, but what if it doesn't? When a man takes certain HBP meds there won't be any sperm coming out but the man still had an orgasm anyway. Actually we ourselves also expect sperm to come out. But when certain HBP meds are taken, it can totally stop this from happening. Can this be the issue?
 
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killowat replied to Taximan283's response:
he is 66 yrs old, and taking no meds, he is very careful of his health, goes to the gym every other day,eats properly, etc. I am really wondering if this is a prostate problem, I know he had some kind of surgery in that vicinity some time ago and has kept that a secret, maybe he is self conscious?? I don't know but my main concern is to be sure he is being satisfied sexually, we have been friends for over 35 years and are very close, I know he enjoys oral sex lol why not, don't we all, but he is so silent, and I am just the opposite, I moan and groan and just go off all over him, I know he loves it, and I really can't help it, those sounds just happen, it is kind of a standing joke about me getting the bed so wet, about who has to sleep in the wet spot, another thing if this is a symptom of a medical problem that he is ignoring that concerns me, he means the world to me and he really floats my boat, want to feel I am doing the same for him, we have been best buds for a long time, much longer than our sexual activities, he is very reticent about sex, I think it stems from family things, and I do stimulate him in many ways, he is kind of quiet and thoughtful, and I am a real nut, and outgoing and outspoken and get him going, what can I say, he is wonderful and I love him with all of my heart, have almost all of my life, we never have been able to stay away form each other, he has what I don't and I have what he doesn't
 
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killowat replied to veryinquisitive's response:
yes it bothers me on two counts, is this a symptom of a health problem, and is he being satisfied, and hey I have had an orgasm from just giving him oral sex, it is to die for believe me, I tease him a lot about things we have said or done and one of the things he loves to hear is "Hey you had me on the first kiss", actually I can't dance with him, as soon as he puts his arms around me I can't think enough to dance, and it is wonderful to be able to be this way and to feel this way, he loves it, and I just go crazy, he is 66 yrs old, he is getting better about giving me signs or telling me what he likes, but playing a guessing game is really difficult,
 
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Taximan283 replied to killowat's response:
Hi killowat,

You may have the answer with the prostate surgery. Now it depends what the surgery was and what it was for. But I will tell you what I know of. There's a surgery called a TURP, I think. The slang name is a Roto Rotor job. It's done to help a man urinate better. I didn't have it done, I chose meds instead, because I could. But I asked the doc if I would still be able to ejaculate after such a surgery and he said it was iffy. Some men can and other's can't. If your bf had this surgery it may be why he can't ejaculate. He may be having what I call a dry orgasm. He still has most of the same feelings and sensations, but nothing comes out. If this is happening to him then believe me, he doesn't like it any better than you. But he can't help it. So now you know the name of 1 of the surgeries that can cause this. I'm sure there are others.
 
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veryinquisitive replied to killowat's response:
I assumed that he was satified w/his situation. Health situation, yes, but does he feel that he has a problem? Has he always sexually had this reaction? Does he take any medication? I would hope @ his age he wouldn't be embarassed about talking to a Dr about it. Or when you're performing oral sex on him, look up @ him & ask him to tell you what he likes: fast or slow, deeper or shallower. Put his hands on your head while you're "giving him head" & see if he doesn't take control of the action.

I have to say that I can identity w/your partner in that I was shy when it came to talking about sex w/my partner. But I started some councilling & realized one day....why am I waiting for a lover to "sense" what I want him to do? My new behavior is "if I don't ask I won't get". It takes a while & I get more uninhibited every time we're together. My current lover was a talker during sex from the start & I was surprised how hot it made me. And if it was a "want" I knew I was on the right track in making him hotter. Just a new thought...maybe like me, he gets so excited w/you that he's afraid he's going to pass out. I had that thought many times w/my guy now. Then w/my new behavior practices, I got brave & figured what's the worst that could happen? I die? I can't think of a better way to go. LOL!

You're a refreshing soul to this columns. We don't have a lot of people write here that have such a positive outlook as you. I look forward to you writing again.
 
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killowat replied to veryinquisitive's response:
a breakthrough, he has started showing me and telling me what he needs and likes!! I had just about given up on that, but I kept on asking him things like "Does that feel good" and "do you like that" and "If you don't tell me how will I know" "This is not just about me, it is about us" and he started opening up and it was like a dam burst, he told me how he felt and what was behind those feelings and began to participate in sex like he never had, and he also told me that I had given him more than anybody ever had in his lifetime!! It was awesome, do not really know what opened him up unless it was just loving him and keeping on trying to find out what his needs were sexually, I have to admit to spoiling him outrageously in our every day lives, he is such a kind and generous person he deserves all the love and attention I give him, I try to find something to say to him every day to show him I hold him in great regard and respect, things like I am so proud of the way you--- or You do --- so well, he has always been kind of at the bottom of his family's esteem, and actually he is the only real success story in his family, and I am always trying to say or show him that I think he is just great all the time, lol because I do, I love him very much, and I think that maybe gentle loving caring attempts may have won the day and it has certainly opened a new door in our sex life and it surely made a big difference last night, we don't have a perfect sex life, but it is the next best thing to it, and when I hear him say do this or do that or give me this or that everything is worthwhile, and now that I have insight into his needs I can imagine all kinds of things to drive him wild!! And I will lol
 
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veryinquisitive replied to killowat's response:
Congrats! Wow, wonder what made that happen? I'm so happy for you! He might have suddenly realized that you were really what you are. I imagine that a lot of men don't trust women very much. You probably seemed too "perfect" to him compared to his past experiences. Good work waiting him out & discussing it with him in an unthreatening way. I hope only the best for your future.
 
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All_is_One replied to killowat's response:
That makes me happy to hear how intimate you two are (sexually and non-sexually). It warms my heart so much. Thank you for sharing that.

I leave you in the Love and Light of the Infinite Creator!


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