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Parenting: Preteens & Teenagers Community

Parenting preteens and teens is a new challenge. Should you worry about peer ... more

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Bundles of hormones, emotions, and insecurities. Rebellion, dating, school problems, peer and societal pressures, its our job to see these kids to adulthood. Get the support you need here!

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Reply: Tween Communication

This seeems developmental rather than tween related. Children become socially competent and able to interact...

Posted by An_250567

This seeems developmental rather than tween related. Children become socially competent and able to interact in unfamiliar settings in their own time. I wouldn't be especially concerned. It really sounds like a confidence/comfort zone issue.

Have you asked directly if he is trying to play it "cool" or are you assuming that and then reading his body language as rude or awkward? If this were my child, I would relay how he comes off to me, ask if that is his intent, go from there. Since he seems at ease with family and friends, I might think this is a bit of stage fright or performance anxiety in impromptu situations, which should dissipate as he has more opportunities to have to wing it on demand.

As you noted, he is quite comfortable talking at an audience on something he knows. Its different when he might have to give an opinion on a topic randomly thrown at him, which can be judged. Top that with the give and take of conversation with someone he may not know well (an adult friend of yours), or a teacher/authority (who may judge/grade) and for now it is a recipe for slight disaster.

I also think practice helps a lot. Just as you already role play, maybe try to focus on situations that may come up and be more specific in your practice. I think front loading can go a long way. Kind of help him prepare for a situation by discussing who will be there, what might come up in conversation. You know, a neighborhood picnic or a family reunion might have people he kind of knows, but who may want to catch up with him. He'll be asked over (and over) how old he is, what grade, what does he like to do, maybe summer plans, etc.

Finally, I think being in activities with adult leaders where your son has opportunities to interact with peers and adults will benefit him. Scouts, sports, church groups, volunteer opportunities, will help him build confidence.

Hope some of this is helpful. Mostly I think he is probably right on target and is lucky that you are concerned and taking measures to continue fostering personal growth. Good luck.View Thread

Posted byAn_250567

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Tween Communication This seeems developmental rather than tween related. Children become socially competent and able to interact...

Tween Communication

I have a 12 year old boy who is terrible in his communication with adults. If an adult asks him a question he...

Posted by An_251886

0 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Tween Communication I have a 12 year old boy who is terrible in his communication with adults. If an adult asks him a question he...

Reply: Dangers of Physical Intimacy

Frankly, this is none of your business. She is legally an adult and, while your rules apply under your roof, how...

Posted by FCL

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Dangers of Physical Intimacy Frankly, this is none of your business. She is legally an adult and, while your rules apply under your roof, how...

Reply: 10 year old daughter vomiting at night

Sounds like reflux. I would bypass the pedi and go to a pedi GI.

Posted by An_250567

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:10 year old daughter vomiting at night Sounds like reflux. I would bypass the pedi and go to a pedi GI.

Reply: Dating/Kissing preteen

I had a similar problem with my son last year. He is now 12. He is not allowed to have a GF until he 16 but...

Posted by curousity

I had a similar problem with my son last year. He is now 12. He is not allowed to have a GF until he 16 but only if I feel that he is mature and/or responsible enough otherwise he will have to wait until he is 18 and on his own. Knowing this, he had a "secret" GF anyway. I completely expected it to happen, since I cannot be with him all day. However, I did not expect it to happen at 11. Of course I did find out from relatives (who do not share my rules and have kids the same age). Intially I flipped out. I punished him, but also explained how it was perfectly natural to have those kind of feelings. I did tell him he had to break it off. Needless to say he didn't. Even though I knew he still had a GF I pretended not to know and laid it on thick the reasons he should not have one. It was really hard, especially after I found texts from his cousins telling him to he should kiss her and the things they did with their BF and GFs (at age 11)! It started to seem like he was only doing it to impress his friends. His grades started to slip (he was a straight A student). And he his attitude started to change. I got more strict. I limited his phone use. He was never allowed to go anywhere without me. I stopped allowing his friends over, after school or on weekends. Fortunatley summer rolled around and he was pretty much isolated to home all summer. Even better the girl "broke up" with him at the begining of this year. I have not had this problem since. I continue to tell him why GFs are a bad idea. Girls still come around, but I try to chase them away.

I was in the same frame of mind. I was ready to move to another state. It is note realastic but I also knew from previous experience, with my nephew, this was not the answer. In my nephews case he too started very early with a GF. He carried on with her all thu HS. My sister had the same rule as I. They fought and fought over it. My sister sent him away his sophmore year to get a little seperation between the two. The GF followed him to his new location. Long sory short, she ended up pregnant and they now have two kids and live with my sister. And this a a young man my son looks up to.

I definatley don't want to scare you. You are not alone. I know I felt like I was the only one, either feeling this way or going thru it. Some people may tell you not to worry, they are only 11. Some people may tell you that you need to take control and lay down the law. I heard it all. There is no easy answer.

I did learn was that he did listen to one thing I drilled into his head. That GFs are expensive. LoL. Because when the GF broke up with him, all he said to my informant was "oh well at least I'll save money".

I know this is not the last time I will be going thru this. Like I said the girls still come around. I find letters in his backpack or in his pockets. All I can do is hope I raised him and continue to raise him to make responsible decisions. Bottom line... it sucks! Just hang in there. Sorry if some of this makes little sense and is long.View Thread

Posted by curousity

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Dating/Kissing preteen I had a similar problem with my son last year. He is now 12. He is not allowed to have a GF until he 16 but...

Reply: 12 year old step son pees and poops his pants

dose his name start with d

Posted by ugniu12333

90 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:12 year old step son pees and poops his pants dose his name start with d

Reply: Bisexuality in teens

I can understand the shock of finding out your son is bisexual. It has taken me 30 years to accept the fact...

Posted by sye2013

98 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Bisexuality in teens I can understand the shock of finding out your son is bisexual. It has taken me 30 years to accept the fact...

Black bumps/dot

I have these black bumps all over my arms and neck. On my face its really bump like a rash. I cant tell if its...

Posted by James236

0 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Black bumps/dot I have these black bumps all over my arms and neck. On my face its really bump like a rash. I cant tell if its...

Reply: 12 year old daughter and migranes

Take her to the doctor. Why would you wait 30 days?

Posted by busybee3891

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:12 year old daughter and migranes Take her to the doctor. Why would you wait 30 days?

Parenting Casting - New Docu-Series

What's your parenting style? You could be featured on a new cable series. Are you an attachment parent?...

Posted by pithprod

0 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Parenting Casting - New Docu-Series What's your parenting style? You could be featured on a new cable series. Are you an attachment parent?...

Reply: Abusive 15 year old Teen Male

When my friends son yelled and punched a hole in the hallway wall she got him good professional counseling....

Posted by justmejust

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Abusive 15 year old Teen Male When my friends son yelled and punched a hole in the hallway wall she got him good professional counseling....

Reply: 12 yr old boys

Hi concernedmama01, Sometimes the best place to start is with his pediatrician. If you have one you trust,...

Posted by justmejust

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:12 yr old boys Hi concernedmama01, Sometimes the best place to start is with his pediatrician. If you have one you trust,...

Reply: 16 year old daughter with the WORST hygiene habits...

Pre-teen and teen years, girls typically want to fit in, and be like their peers. How does your daughter...

Posted by momuv4girls

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:16 year old daughter with the WORST hygiene habits! Pre-teen and teen years, girls typically want to fit in, and be like their peers. How does your daughter...

Reply: 13 year old boy with diaper fascinations

Well I have to say that from my own teen years I had the same fetish and I now deal with it on my own. My...

Posted by JamesArmes

13 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:13 year old boy with diaper fascinations Well I have to say that from my own teen years I had the same fetish and I now deal with it on my own. My...

Reply: 8 year old daughter: masturbating? unusual, concer...

I read your story and it really hit home/youre in my prayers. Just continue to trust in God and he will...

Posted by BLU_HART40

7 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:8 year old daughter: masturbating? unusual, concerning or normal? I read your story and it really hit home/youre in my prayers. Just continue to trust in God and he will...

Reply: what is best for 15 girl ?

thank you! i think the social groups is perfect but im having a hard time finding them ! i have looked on...

Posted by cher50

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:what is best for 15 girl ? thank you! i think the social groups is perfect but im having a hard time finding them ! i have looked on...

My 12-year-old son has a lump

It's more like a small, hard ball right behind his nipple. His breasts are not enlarged... he is a slender, 12...

Posted by vrodz

0 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:My 12-year-old son has a lump It's more like a small, hard ball right behind his nipple. His breasts are not enlarged... he is a slender, 12...

My son has a lump

It's more like a small, hard ball right behind his nipple. His breasts are not enlarged... he is a slender, 12...

Posted by vrodz

0 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:My son has a lump It's more like a small, hard ball right behind his nipple. His breasts are not enlarged... he is a slender, 12...

Reply: Defiant teen son

I would suggest professional help - a really good LMFT that can work with you and your husband, and then...

Posted by momuv4girls

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Defiant teen son I would suggest professional help - a really good LMFT that can work with you and your husband, and then...

Reply: 15 YR OLD SON W/ NAUSEA IN A.M. FOR 6 WEEKS

Hi Ladymim, my son is 18 now and doing really well. Went through all that to find he has anxiety, which I had...

Posted by bellajane

21 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:15 YR OLD SON W/ NAUSEA IN A.M. FOR 6 WEEKS Hi Ladymim, my son is 18 now and doing really well. Went through all that to find he has anxiety, which I had...

Reply: Bedwetting teen daughter?

Is it possible she still has a bladder infection or uti? I'm not doubting your saying the viruses are...

Posted by mountainmom48

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Bedwetting teen daughter? Is it possible she still has a bladder infection or uti? I'm not doubting your saying the viruses are...

Reply: HELP NEEDED... ABUSIVE 15 YEAR OLD TEEN MALE

I am a 38 yr old dad who also works in Juvenile Corrections. one thing I would have done if this is usual...

Posted by ThomasJ197438

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:HELP NEEDED... ABUSIVE 15 YEAR OLD TEEN MALE I am a 38 yr old dad who also works in Juvenile Corrections. one thing I would have done if this is usual...

Reply: 10-yr daughter period

I also thought eating organic would help. I raised my daughter eating organic and we are vegetarians. She is 10...

Posted by Luxe55

91 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:10-yr daughter period I also thought eating organic would help. I raised my daughter eating organic and we are vegetarians. She is 10...

Reply: ABDOMINAL PAIN

Could be Functional Abdominal Pain, is where nerves are hypersensitive, so any pain that you or I...

Posted by phoenixflameandfire

16 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:ABDOMINAL PAIN Could be Functional Abdominal Pain, is where nerves are hypersensitive, so any pain that you or I...

Reply: Hallucinations in an otherwise healthy 10-year-old...

What did you find out? My 10-year-old son said to me today, "Why do I sometimes see things that aren't...

Posted by Bagheera1964

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:Hallucinations in an otherwise healthy 10-year-old? What did you find out? My 10-year-old son said to me today, "Why do I sometimes see things that aren't...

social anxiety in 15 year old dd

Hello everyone, After seeing a counselor for some anxiety, a counselor told me that she thinks my dd has...

Posted by reneegavin2

0 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:social anxiety in 15 year old dd Hello everyone, After seeing a counselor for some anxiety, a counselor told me that she thinks my dd has...

social anxiety in 15 year old dd

Hello everyone, After seeing a counselor for some anxiety, a counselor told me that she thinks my dd has...

Posted by reneegavin2

Reply: 16 year old boy has strange behavious in my opinio...

ummm NOOO! thats creepy and if the mother is participating and condoning that behavior they both need help,...

Posted by BLU_HART40

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:16 year old boy has strange behavious in my opinion ummm NOOO! thats creepy and if the mother is participating and condoning that behavior they both need help,...

Reply: need to vent about my 18 y/o

Yes, you did the right thing and that police officer doesnt sound correct. He is 18 and unless he is paying...

Posted by BLU_HART40

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:need to vent about my 18 y/o Yes, you did the right thing and that police officer doesnt sound correct. He is 18 and unless he is paying...

Reply: bisexual teen

Well as I don't condone what she said to you, it may be a reaction as she feels betrayed. Though she should...

Posted by BLU_HART40

4 Replies | Reply | Watch This Discussion Report This | Share this:bisexual teen Well as I don't condone what she said to you, it may be a reaction as she feels betrayed. Though she should...

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