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Have you asked directly if he is trying to play it "cool" or are you assuming that and then reading his body language as rude or awkward? If this were my child, I would relay how he comes off to me, ask if that is his intent, go from there. Since he seems at ease with family and friends, I might think this is a bit of stage fright or performance anxiety in impromptu situations, which should dissipate as he has more opportunities to have to wing it on demand.
As you noted, he is quite comfortable talking at an audience on something he knows. Its different when he might have to give an opinion on a topic randomly thrown at him, which can be judged. Top that with the give and take of conversation with someone he may not know well (an adult friend of yours), or a teacher/authority (who may judge/grade) and for now it is a recipe for slight disaster.
I also think practice helps a lot. Just as you already role play, maybe try to focus on situations that may come up and be more specific in your practice. I think front loading can go a long way. Kind of help him prepare for a situation by discussing who will be there, what might come up in conversation. You know, a neighborhood picnic or a family reunion might have people he kind of knows, but who may want to catch up with him. He'll be asked over (and over) how old he is, what grade, what does he like to do, maybe summer plans, etc.
Finally, I think being in activities with adult leaders where your son has opportunities to interact with peers and adults will benefit him. Scouts, sports, church groups, volunteer opportunities, will help him build confidence.
Hope some of this is helpful. Mostly I think he is probably right on target and is lucky that you are concerned and taking measures to continue fostering personal growth. Good luck.View Thread
I fully understand that this situation bothers you but the only person liable to damage relationships here is you by interfering with others.View Thread
I was in the same frame of mind. I was ready to move to another state. It is note realastic but I also knew from previous experience, with my nephew, this was not the answer. In my nephews case he too started very early with a GF. He carried on with her all thu HS. My sister had the same rule as I. They fought and fought over it. My sister sent him away his sophmore year to get a little seperation between the two. The GF followed him to his new location. Long sory short, she ended up pregnant and they now have two kids and live with my sister. And this a a young man my son looks up to.
I definatley don't want to scare you. You are not alone. I know I felt like I was the only one, either feeling this way or going thru it. Some people may tell you not to worry, they are only 11. Some people may tell you that you need to take control and lay down the law. I heard it all. There is no easy answer.
I did learn was that he did listen to one thing I drilled into his head. That GFs are expensive. LoL. Because when the GF broke up with him, all he said to my informant was "oh well at least I'll save money".
I know this is not the last time I will be going thru this. Like I said the girls still come around. I find letters in his backpack or in his pockets. All I can do is hope I raised him and continue to raise him to make responsible decisions. Bottom line... it sucks! Just hang in there. Sorry if some of this makes little sense and is long.View Thread
Recently my 16 year old son told me he is bisexual and prefers male company to female company. Was I shocked? No. My reaction was one of kindness, love and caring. My husbands response was one of denial and fear.
I will not put my son in counseling I love ALL of him. We talked openly about safe sex, HIV and anything else that was pertinent. Being bisexual is WHO we are not a lifestyle choice. I encourage you to be open minded and be there for your son life is too short to judge others. God Bless.View Thread
Are you an attachment parent? Tiger Mom? A green parent? Free range? Authoritative? Permissive? Or do you have a style that's all your own?
We're looking for moms and dads with unique perspectives on parenting for a new series on a top-rated national cable network. Please send your name, phone number, e-mail address, a description of your family/parenting style, and a photo to casting@punchedinthehead.com .
More info available at http://punchedinthehead.com/casting .View Thread
Sometimes the best place to start is with his pediatrician. If you have one you trust, make an appointment regarding your concerns and the doctor can check your son out, sometimes one on one while you wait in the waiting room. This way he might be able to eliminate health issues and they know what is average for their ages.
Good luck. It sounds like a difficult situation. Could be peer pressure, or fear of being bullied. He might need someone to talk to, a new friend, or family member.View Thread
How does your daughter do in school, academically and socially?
Do you think she could be depressed ?
I would suggest a visit with a good Child Psychologist who could explore what is going on with your daughter and how to improve the situation.
Take care,
-KathleenView Thread
I don't believe problems such as this will just work themselves out on there own....you guys need a new approach before something serious happens.
Take care,
-KathleenView Thread
After seeing a counselor for some anxiety, a counselor told me that she thinks my dd has some social anxiety with starting h.s., but feels as she gets older and gains more confidence, it will lessen. She doesn't feel she has to be seen, although the door is open if necessary. My dd is not an unhappy teen, but she is quite the loner. She is perfectly content spending almost every weekend and weeknight with hubby and I. Maybe 3 times a week, she will gt together with a friend, but it is almost always with our urging her to. Does anyone have issues like this? Any advice? I know she talks to friends in school, but not much out.View Thread
After seeing a counselor for some anxiety, a counselor told me that she thinks my dd has some social anxiety with starting h.s., but feels as she gets older and gains more confidence, it will lessen. She doesn't feel she has to be seen, although the door is open if necessary. My dd is not an unhappy teen, but she is quite the loner. She is perfectly content spending almost every weekend and weeknight with hubby and I. Maybe 3 times a week, she will gt together with a friend, but it is almost always with our urging her to. Does anyone have issues like this? Any advice? I know she talks to friends in school, but not much out.View Thread
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