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~Christopher Robin to Pooh
Re 'him' - only talk to him if that makes sense for YOU to do; you owe him nothing, not even an explanation or stating you need him to respect your wishes.
It sounds like you're feeling more empowered lately and FB is just another step forward. It's nice living in the light.
View Thread~Christopher Robin to Pooh
Therapy was draining. The rush of emotions. The feeling of not being safe. I feel like its going to happen again.
Im stressed. He didn't used protection. Being tested for all these diseases....What if I am pregnant? I can't go thru that. Its all very stressful. What am I going to do? I feel powerless. I have no control anymore.
I should have fought or screamed or something. I am so diappointed in myself. I blame me.
Tired of the constant state of fear I am in. I am in hell.
AZView Thread
I made an appointment for therapy. Im am nervous but I know I need to do it and not get scared and run away. I have good friends who helped me realize I needed to be strong enough for myself to take care of myself.
Im glad I found all of you, thank you for your encouraging words.View Thread
It's very understandable that your angry with your mom. She was supposed to protect you. I'm also sorry to hear that your "nice guy" turned out to be such a jerk. I think it was very brave of you to admit to him that you were keeping distance with him because you were scared. If he were really a nice guy, he would have had empathy. At least you found out before you got close enough for him to really hurt you. I'm sorry you need to be here, but welcome. mellieView Thread
~Christopher Robin to Pooh

Sounds like a great, busy, fun, noisy, tiring weekend!View Thread
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
There's more than anger,more than sadness,more than terror.There's Hope ~Edith Horning
HealingView Thread
There's more than anger,more than sadness,more than terror.There's Hope ~Edith Horning
Abilify and how much you will pay. I was on Abilify for several months but when my pdoc ran out of samples, I had to wean off it. If I had filled the prescription, I would have to pay more than $400 for a month's supply.
You are invited to stay around for the 'get away' cruise. We load the boat with goodies and float in a shallow pond. There is never problems on the boat ... only good things and eats.
MaryView Thread
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
I firmly believe your therapist is out of line asking for minute details of your life. You might continue your marital counseling with him, but I would never darken his door for personal counseling. You can just explain to Nathan that you want to seek a female counselor because you feel uncomfortable seeing your current counselor one on one.
MaryView Thread
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
I know this is hard for you. But back away from thinking of yourself in an extremist way. You are not as bad as you seem to believe right now. I know you know that somewhere within you. Just as I know that first you were a victim. And the ramifications of being a victim can often go in directions which are unhealthy and beyond.
What you should focus on is how you are not that person anymore, that you take rigorous steps now to take care of others, including your own children. You chose to break the unhealthy cycle with your life.View Thread
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
the Web MD website is temporarily unavailable.
What I was going to say, AZ, is that I'm only 88 miles away from Calais, the tip of Eastern Maine. I also fled far, far away from my abuser and the memories of him. I remain here, trying to feel safe, but living in the same time zone is unacceptable.
My own garbage.
Maybe you need a vacation. (I know I do!!)View Thread
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
I hope others will chime in too.View Thread
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
Good work with the affirmations, Healing. Sometimes we are so good at being kind to others and less so with ourselves.
I hope the walking helps to ease things a bit.View Thread
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
Congrats to your son on entering Junior college in the fall! And congrats to you on helping him get there. I know how much that can take sometimes.Good for you for holding on to the positives and putting one foot in front of the other. Have you talked with your T about coping strategies to help you deal with all these thoughts that weigh on you? Therapy is a great place to air all the issues, even journalling, but you still need to live a life in between. I hope your T is able to help you get there.View Thread
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
~Christopher Robin to Pooh

And no, I don't think it's wrong... all the feelings you're having, including being glad he's gone. (((hugs)))View Thread
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
So grateful for...
- my new granddaughter, Miriam, perfect and beautiful and healthy
- that my daughter-in-law didn't have a long labor and she was home within 24 hours and is doing great
- my parents still being in this world and so able to enjoy their great grandchildren
- I had a decent night's sleep last night (it's been pretty scarce lately)
View Thread~Christopher Robin to Pooh
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
I am so very sorry for all you are currently dealing with. Please let me know if there's anything at all I can do for you. ((hugs)) mellieView Thread
WOW! Good for you. I'm sure their are tons of people who would benefit from hearing about your journey. Good luck with the writing. Wishing you all the best. mellieView Thread
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
I'm glad you were honest with your pdoc about how you've been doing and hope the new med helps. It still may take more adjustments so keep up that line of communication in the weeks and months to come.
Hang in there, Healing. ((((softhugs))))View Thread
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
I have to admit that I was surprised -- but not entirely. I told her that I had had a very brief flash of memory to the first time I felt like crawling out of my skin and then ...
(flash)
... there was nothing in my head. No thoughts, no words, no images, no impressions of the outside world. Just blank. Just nothing. Empty. I was in the world but barely aware of it. And I was in myself but barely aware of it.
She asked me what had happened and I said that I was not entirely sure what had happened but I had no thoughts. It was just ... gone. There was nothing left.
On Friday she'd asked me to draw a character that I could use as a visualization for protection. I had intended to draw something strong and powerful, like one of the X-Men. But what came out was something far kinder, far gentler, almost like an angel. There were no retractable razor-sharp talons, no fancy bouncing boots, no deflector shield. It came out to be a woman in a gold dress with a black-and-gray cloak. The image of the woman that came out was the very image of myself... the shape of the face, the half-smile, the long, red-brown hair, the carefully sculpted eyebrows. So when I took this drawing in, my therapist asked me how I could "use" her to my advantage. Maybe she's a kind of protector, a guardian. That's what I titled the picture -- "A Guardian." I remarked that she looked a lot like I do... my therapist agreed. She asked if this Guardian had a name. (She doesn't, she's just ... a character.)
At the time, she didn't have a name. Now... I kind of feel that she does. She's Christine.
This is all really, really frightening.View Thread
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