I'm sure someone has already discussed this and answered it, but I'm new here!
My husband has literally been using substances to self "treat" his ADD and LD for 17 years! His family of origin for several generations has a history of addiction and heavy alcoholism. He used alcohol, pot, and cocaine regularly, and used every other drug on the market recreationally.
He entered substance abuse recovery in his 20's, and has been "clean" and sober for a number of years. He relapsed 2 years ago, but has been very straight for 2 years now.
He took Ritalin very briefly as a teen and never took it regularly. He has been virtually untreated his entire adult life.
I am VERY concerned that he needs med's, but he WILL NOT take them because they make him "feel like he used". They make him eupohoric and he HATES feeling that way. He gets anxiety attacks and throws up and feels terrible. Like he "used".
HEYYYYY!!!!! Don't raise your voice LOL. Getting angry at someone with ADHD will cause them to willfully defy what you are saying. They will withdraw, get defensive, get their feelings hurt, and WILL NOT be motivated to do what you are saying.
My personal advice: DO NOT MARRY THIS PERSON. And do not continue to live with them. UNLESS you both are being treated 110% for each of your conditions. My husband and I have been married for 9 years. I have anxiety and OCD tendencies and he has terrible Adult ADD. It is a DISASTER. I have been miserable, suicidal, miserable, suicidal, miserable, depressed, miserable, and did I mention miserable.
I read that the average person with ADD takes hearing/seeing something 1500 times to LEARN IT. So if you told your husband nicely "Pick up your coffee cups from all over the house" TWICE A DAY FOR 2 YEARS! He "might" learn to do it. Are you willing to do that for EVERY relationship challenge or problem. Or for him to learn something about you or your preferences etc. etc. etc.????
Go to a site called adhdmarriage.com (that I am a member of) and read the testimonies of the non-ADD wives who have been married to ADD spouses for years. It will BREAK YOUR HEART!!!!View Thread
I am a non-ADHD wife and I ASSURE YOU that any improvement in focus, attention, cooperation, and being ENGAGED in conversation and relationship will FAR OUT WEIGH any sexual concerns for your wife. If you had a great sex life, chances are it won't go down the tubes!!!
Talk to your DR. but I would jump headlong into getting your ADD treated in every way possible. It will keep your marriage from becoming even more strained!
Blessings in whatever you do! And good luck in your marriage!View Thread