I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 6. I am 21 now. When I was a kid I was prescribed ritalin for a short amount of time before it made me go insane, then took wellbutrin until THAT made me go insane (aggressive). When I was in high school (age 16) I went to a psychiatrist and was prescribed focalin... can you guess what happened? Then we switched to adderall which was PERFECT! However, I had a problem being responsible with the medication so you can understand why I didnt get it after that. I was in college when I went back to the doctor and did the exact same thing with my adderall prescription, gone in days. This happened for two months (2 prescriptions) until i called one day and found my phone number to be blocked (i had called after from a different number, identified myself and got hung up on, I really dont blame them). Recognizing that maybe I shouldn't be on stimulants given my high abuse potential I went to an outpatient mental clinic where I was given strattera. I would call that the worst thing ive ever taken, had the wellbutrin ive been prescribed after that been any better (strattera didnt get things done where wellbutrin didn't get things done and left me content that I didnt get anything on). Furious, I went cold turkey, stuck to reading Dr. Hallowell's book, and to no surprise of my own ended up dropped out of school. I had moved to a different state one year ago. About six months ago, I went to a doctor having changed my major and finding myself in the same place of being unable to focus, not being productive, not retaining information, and worst of all now being conditioned against stressors (I cant get anything done so I dont do anything therefore I dont have to feel bad about not getting anything done). This doctor thought my issues were more related to anxiety (bullspit, I told him my history and he went to go hide in his cave, i even told him not to prescribe me stimulants) so he gave me lexapro (which did the same thing as wellbutrin, except with a suicide attempt) and risperidone... which gave me a dystonic episode. I didnt take any medication after that and dropped out of school again, which really irritated me and led to compulsive drinking (getting drunk every night). My brother smokes pot and I used to once in a very blue moon (pot is not really my thing). So one day our friendly neighborhood drug dealer sent out a mass text message that adderall is available. Not a shocker, its vyvanse and he dosent know what the hell is going on. I decided to see if I could give myself a last chance so I purchased a few and alas, I have been taking them responsibly (40mg a day) for 3 weeks without a single incident of overdosing, a complete and total first for me. My repeated failure has finally resulted in self control, which ultimately resulted in total symptom relief. Now I am no fool, self medication is dangerous and I do not wish to play doctor on myself so I am wondering what would happen if I actually told a psychiatrist about all of this. I admit, if I were the medical professional in this hypothetical I wouldn't even be skeptical, I wouldn't believe a word I said and even I would throw me right to the streets for being the boy who cried wolf, I get it. But on the off chance that my cynical nature is giving me the wrong idea I would like some (hopefully professional) insight on this scenario. I did not take the medicine to get high when I was abusing it, it was just hard to stop after one. I appreciate any and all answers to this predicament, and if enough people think this automatically excludes me from treatment I'm not even going to waste my time. Let's see if I can be surprised.
P.S. the reason lexapro isn't rated worse than the wellbutrin given the suicide attempt is because suicide probably wouldn't have been a bad idea. I'm consciously incapable of doing it (being off the lexapro), no sense living in a sack of meat that cant even pay attention to the TV (of all things)View Thread
Oh yes my doses were 10mg XR for the adderall, I dont remember how much I was taking for methylphenidate but it was quite low as well. Wellbutrin I did 150, then 300, then 450.This went on for about 6 months. Strattera I worked up to 60mg before I decided that it was completely worthless (gave it 6 weeks)View Thread