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ChristophorM

Joined: 02/05/2010

My Story:

I was diagnosed with ADHD at 37 and OCD/Anxiety at 38. I grew up in Florida. Quit school at 16 when I failed the 9th grade and gave up on the school system. I have a high IQ, a short attention span and an uncanny ability to put my foot in my mouth at the exactly the wrong time. Actually, I usually make people laugh, but sometimes I make them REALLY angry without trying at all. Most of the time I don't even know why.

It's a gift.

I left home at 16 or 17 after an argument with my dad that ended when he said "My house, my rules. If you don't like it you can leave." I didn't get a drivers license until I was 21. I have a GED, my very own set of U.S. Army jump wings and an I'm an expert marksman even though I'm afraid of heights and don't like guns. I married got married and divorced in 10 months. Turned out we were both looking for a nice woman to settle down with. I spent the last half of my 20's at two bars, one for the booze, the other for the dancers.

That ended just in time, when I finally met someone who convinced me to stop smoking, drinking and staying out late. We got married and have been doing fine ever since. We have a daughter whose a lot like her dad, in a good way, and two cats. Eleven years and still going strong. Though, sometimes I think she should be the one getting mental help for staying with me so long.

We've never purchased a used home or a used car. We have a decent life and I do my part to keep it that way. I've been a "computer guy" for most of my life. When we moved in to our first house, my dad visited. I asked him to take of his shoes. He said, "Why do I have to take off my shoes if I don't want too?" I said, "My house my rules. If you don't like it you can leave." We both smiled and he said "OK." We all wished he'd kept them on shortly after that, but by then it was too late. I still have nightmares about that stinky monopoly game.

My advice to parents is RELAX. Let your kid be who they are. Work with them not against them. Meds are a great tool, but life skills are where you get the most bang for your buck in ADHD terms. I take my meds, but only because they help. If they didn't I'd be happy to skip them. If you don't trust your doctor enough to do what he says, FIRE HIM and get one you do trust. That's the only way to get medical help. Trust is crucial.

I grew up with untreated ADHD and I didn't do too badly, if I do say so myself. However, I think things would be even better if I'd started treatment in 3rd grade. So, keep that in mind about your own kids. The earlier you start ADHD treatment, the better once they start school.

It's not a disease. It's how we're made. It won't go away and you can't beat it out of us. Do your best to build your kid up, not knock them down.

ADHD is a real gift if you know how to handle it. We're great fun to be around and have a quirky outlook on life. Just don't ask us to balance the check book or get you to the airport on time 'cause it probably ain't gonna happen the way you expected. But it might be fun anyway. :)

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Reply: Your ADD/ADHD

A few years ago my nephew was diagnosed with ADHD. Followed by his mom, my other...

Posted by ChristophorM

A few years ago my nephew was diagnosed with ADHD. Followed by his mom, my other sister, my brother and my dad. I was the last one to be evaluated.

I knew I was a bit different in 3rd grade. That year I started visiting the guidance councilor. She asked me a lot of questions, had me draw a lot and watch cartoons. She used a puppet named Do-So Dolphin to explain how to behave in class. I liked it because it was just more entertaining that whatever the 'normal kids' were doing. That year I did so well on the annual testing, that I was a candidate for the Gifted program. I qualified for that too, but my grades weren't up to par so it was over after the first quarter. It was also the first year I was held back a grade.

I barely skinned by 4th and 5th. But 6th grade was the pinnacle of public school idiocy. As usual, I qualified for gifted but my grades weren't high enough. This time they had me take an extra test where I found out that I have a high IQ whatever that was. They said it means I'm a bit smarter than most people my age. I thought if I'm the smart one, the Earth is doomed. They also said I had trouble remembering things. I tried out for "6th Sense Team" and made it. We competed with other schools Jeopardy style. We finished that year in second for the county. I got a T-Shirt!!! Oh and I was held back that year, didn't pass summer school, repeated 6th grade,qualified for gifted, failed again, and finally passed summer school on my second try. I skinned by until 9th when I quit school.

I took adult vocational classes to learn computers, got an a ward for scoring high on the GED and graduated on time. I joined the Army and got kicked out, married a lesbian and got divorced, beat up a gun toting mugger with a broom and spent one night in jail for fighting with my brother in my parents front yard. I had an interesting career most of it in computers and most of it in weird places. I've had a lot of personal conflict. I've always tried to fit in and failed. I've been angry at the school, my parents and the world for making "normal" seem like something real. What would my life have been like if they'd diagnosed me properly in 3rd grade? Who would I be? An A student? College Graduate? Insurance salesman or executive? Adventurer?

I realize now, that I don't care. I am who I am because of my life. I had to forgive everyone I was angry at for all of these years including myself before I could relax. I've said that I feel more like my younger self now that I know why I had trouble. I think the reason for that is I haven't been myself since 3rd grade. Before that I didn't know I was different and didn't care. I'm in that place again except, I know I'm different, but I don't care. Nobody is normal anyway.

The medicine helps, but it's not the reason I feel better about life. It's just that I'm finally free of imaginary limits and expectations.

I'm not afraid anymore. I'm free.

Thanks.
Chris M.View Thread

Posted byChristophorM

11 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Your ADD/ADHD A few years ago my nephew was diagnosed with ADHD. Followed by his mom, my other...

Reply: Adult ADHD and depression/anger

I have ADHD and people say the same thing. It might not be anger. It might be...

Posted by ChristophorM

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Adult ADHD and depression/anger I have ADHD and people say the same thing. It might not be anger. It might be...

Reply: are ADHD and a high pain tolerance related?

I've noticed that too. I have ADHD and I can tolerate a lot of pain. I don't know if...

Posted by ChristophorM

I've noticed that too. I have ADHD and I can tolerate a lot of pain.

I don't know if its tolerating it so much as ignoring it. If I'm in the middle of something and cut myself or drill a hole in my hand, I may not even react to the injury unless the blood is interfering with my work. Yeah sure. It hurts, but not enough to stop me doing whatever interesting things I was doing when it happened.

We have difficulty voluntarily focusing on things. Whatever controls what we pay attention too simply doesn't rate pain as interesting enough to focus on at the expense of the rest of the world and whatever is going on at the time.

Time doesn't register with me unless I think about time. If I'm doing something the time can go right by even if there's something else I was supposed to be doing. It just doesn't click. I think pain is the same way. It's just there, but it's not really important right now.

When my wisdom teeth came in, they came in sideways "Impacted" the dentist called it. They were pushing on my back molars from beneath the gum line. Anyway, the back molars both cracked. It hurt a lot when I took time to think about it, but I went over 10 years before I finally had the wisdom teeth and the ruined molars removed. It just didn't click. Time flew right by. If I didn't know it was 10 years, I'd have said it was a month or two, I think.

This next part is kind of gross so skip it if you're squeamish.

My kid said she had a headache one day. I gave her some motrin and she was fine. Then about a week later, she told me her ear was clogged and she couldn't hear very well. We used alcohol to try to clear it out, but she said it didn't work. So I took her to the doctor. It turned out she had an ear infection that had burst her ear drum. She never even complained about the pain at all! From what we can tell it had to have been going on for a few weeks.

That same year, she had a lump on her back that turned out to be an infection that the doctor had to drain. She stood there hugging me, while the doc used his hands to pinch and poke the thing to drain the stuff out of it and clean it. The whole time she was just humming a little song and looking at the posters on the wall. You'd never know anything was going on by looking at her face. The doctor looked at me and whispered "If anyone did that to me, I'd be howling right now." We were very impressed that she didn't react at all. She said she felt it and it hurt, but that's it. We told her she's "Viking Tough" because of it. Now we know if she says something hurts we need to take her to the doctor.

The funny thing is, she'll suffer a burst ear drum and an infection on her back in silence, but she won't drink medicine without acting like someone took a branding iron to her.

Kids are amazing.View Thread

Posted byChristophorM

2 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:are ADHD and a high pain tolerance related? I've noticed that too. I have ADHD and I can tolerate a lot of pain. I don't know if...

Reply: Temporary Workers Rights and Mental Health Discrim...

Thanks. But, truthfully, it's probably for the best. The other techs had mentioned...

Posted by ChristophorM

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Temporary Workers Rights and Mental Health Discrimination Thanks. But, truthfully, it's probably for the best. The other techs had mentioned...

Reply: Temporary Workers Rights and Mental Health Discrim...

Thanks for the info about the book. I think the OCD is the root of the problem for me...

Posted by ChristophorM

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Temporary Workers Rights and Mental Health Discrimination Thanks for the info about the book. I think the OCD is the root of the problem for me...

Temporary Workers Rights and Mental Health Discrim...

I have ADHD/OCD. This combination of traits is probably the reason I'm so good at my...

Posted by ChristophorM

I have ADHD/OCD. This combination of traits is probably the reason I'm so good at my work. I'm a technician. I primarily work on computers, but I love solving all kinds of problems. I tend to volunteer for the most challenging projects that no one else wants because they're guaranteed to be learning opportunities and involve solving interesting problems. After nearly 20 years in the field, I have developed a wide skill set. I can write computer code, repair circuit boards, configure routers, pick locks or whatever. If I need to learn a new skill, I'll do it. I never give up until the job is done. Obstacles rarely slow me down. I'll go over, around behind or plow through anything that gets in the way. I love it when I do something I was told was impossible.

That stuff sounds great at the job interview. These skills got me may last 2 jobs. They also cost me those same jobs.

When the employer puts me on a task and says do what it takes, they don't realize what might happen when they become the obstacle. When I need access to resources controlled by others, there's always tension. I can't always explain what I'm doing in a way they understand. If someone causes a delay and they don't respond quickly with a reasonable explanation, I try to solve that problem by the same means. I can't stop myself. If they don't understand how I work bad things happen... to me.

I lost my job 3 days ago after I sent what I've been told was a strongly worded email to everyone in our group asking if anyone else was having problems getting parts they'd ordered 7 months ago. The parts person responded as if I was saying she wasn't doing her job. I asked her why she didn't answer me at all when I asked what was going on. This was a circular conversation. I say "Where are my parts?" she responds "I'm doing my job!" Eventually, she said she had documentation to back up her position. I replied "Show me." When I realized she was upset, I apologized, but it was too late. The next day, they called my company and said don't send Chris back.

Nobody let me explain, not even my company. It's like I no longer exist to them. Now, I think I was set up to fail. I was on a deadline, I had no parts and no information. Requests for help went unanswered for months on end. Nobody in my chain helped me find the parts or verify they'd been ordered. But they kept telling me to make the customers happy. No resources. No help. No ETA. Angry customers and me right in the middle. Anxiety, ADHD and OCD guy left to the wolves until they just kicked me to the curb for trying too hard to do my job. I never made a secret of my condition or why I had to take medicine and go to therapy. That didn't bother them while I was solving problems, but when they had to do their part, they kept my info and gave me the boot without even shaking hands.

The problem is I was a "temp" they just called the company and canceled me like a cell phone. It's not right. It's not fair and it may be illegal.

How should I proceed? Do I call law enforcement or a lawyer or what? Who handles these types of cases? Where find more info?

Any advise would be appreciated.

It feels good to get that off my chest.

Thanks.

ChrisView Thread

Posted byChristophorM

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Temporary Workers Rights and Mental Health Discrimination I have ADHD/OCD. This combination of traits is probably the reason I'm so good at my...

Reply: Tricks for dealing with ADD / ADHD other than medi...

Matt, I completely get that. I like lots of noise as long as it doesn't sound like...

Posted by ChristophorM

82 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Tricks for dealing with ADD / ADHD other than medicines or supplements. Matt, I completely get that. I like lots of noise as long as it doesn't sound like...

Reply: add

It's up to your doctor, isn't it. If you're getting Adderall through some means other...

Posted by ChristophorM

1 Reply | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:add It's up to your doctor, isn't it. If you're getting Adderall through some means other...

Reply: ADD/ADHD Isn’t Real?

Thank you.

Posted by ChristophorM

17 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:ADD/ADHD Isn’t Real? Thank you.

Reply: ADD/ADHD Isn’t Real?

You don't have to medicate your kid. Its just a helpful tool. Life skills is critical....

Posted by ChristophorM

17 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:ADD/ADHD Isn’t Real? You don't have to medicate your kid. Its just a helpful tool. Life skills is critical....

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