First, I'd get a doctors note to take to your HR department. ADHD and Mental health issues fall under the American's with Disabilities Act. You have rights. If your medical condition is causing the problems at work and they know about it, you have some legal leverage to protect yourself.
Second, there's more to ADHD treatment than Meds. Life-skills are essential. There are ADHD friendly techniques that can help anyone focus and get organized. Stick to the basics. Make sure you get enough sleep. Maybe your doctor can help you with that. Make sure you're getting the right nutrition. Cut out the junk food. Take your vitamins and fish oil supplements daily. They aren't a cure, but they're good for anyone with a pulse, especially ADHD people.
Believe me, I know. I'm a computer guy too. I've been in this field for about 20 years. I was diagnosed with ADHD about two years ago and Generalized Anxiety about 2 months ago. In other words I went my whole life and most of my career with undiagnosed ADHD. I got by OK at work by sheer willpower.
These days the meds make my job EASY, but I didn't do badly before my diagnosis. I sought treatment to save my marriage not my career, that's just a bonus.
Here are some tips that helped me at work.
1. Isolation. Block out the noise. Sit in the corner cube or where you don't have to listen to all that chatter and the other people on the phone. If you can, get a rainstorm or pink noise track for your ipod or whatever you listen too. Pink noise is kind of like white noise, but it's not as harsh. It's easier for me to listen to it. The rain also works for me. I use it between calls to keep the noise out.
2. Get a notepad and keep it right in front of you. Write everything that pops into your head on it. Fill it up with garbage. Draw on it. Take notes while people are talking to you in person or on the phone. Refer to it often. Get in the habit of scribbling the date at the top so you can go back to it when you need too.
3. Keep all of the junk off of your desk. Sticky notes on the monitor, NO. 3 million icons on your desktop, NO. Turn off the icons. Right click the desktop. Figure out where "Display Icons" is and turn it off. Make a toolbar with small icons and no text on your Start Bar. Click it and you get a list instead of that jumble of icons. If you have pens or whatever, keep them in their cup or whatever. Chewed up pencils, bent paperclips and left over gum wrappers, energy drink cans, gotta go. An empty desk is less distracting to me.
4. Professionalism. This is the hardest one. For the most part, keep your conversations about work as much as you can. When I deal with customers or clients on the phone, I keep it business only. I'm friendly, but I keep it professional. Update your tickets religiously. Get a notepad document with the most common things you have to type. Cut and paste them into your tickets. That way they're spelled right and don't take long to do. You'll look like a million bucks in no time.
5. Take every break you're allowed. Get up and move. If you get a 15 minute break, use it to walk. Go up the stairs and back down again. Walk briskly down the hall. If you have to get up and wander, carry a folder or clip board so you look busy. Walking fast helps with that. Walk with a purpose and people leave you alone. Getting the blood flowing is a great way to stimulate the brain like Adderall does. That's why ADHD kids are hyper, the brain tries to overclock itself.
Have fun with it. Ask someone you trust for help keeping on task and not missing meetings. Be helpful, without brown nosing. Ask your boss how you can improve. Be careful how you talk about ADHD to them. Talk to HR first.
Keep getting treatment. After 15 years stagnating on desktop support. I'm now a Linux Admin. I joke about my ADHD at work. I'm doing better than ever.
BTW: I dropped out of HS in 9th grade at 17, No college. MCP, MCSE, A Plus, Linux Plus and more.
I have ADHD and Generalized Anxiety. I take Adderall XR and Zoloft.
I usually drink unsweetened iced tea. Real soda is too sweet for me and I know it's not healthy, but I get tired of drinking tea all the time. Coke Zero is the only diet soda I like, but I don't want to drink it if it's not safe.
Is it safe to drink Coke Zero along with these meds? I've heard that the sweetener isn't good for ADHD brains. It sounds kind of silly to me, but then I used to think ADHD wasn't real before I was diagnosed so what do I know?
I was ordered to NOT take caffeine when I'm on Adderall. If Vyanese is a stimulant then caffeine may have negative side effects like raising blood pressure or pushing the brain too hard until euphoria sets in. I think that's the reason people take methamphetamine.
Melatonin usually makes me sleepy for about 30 minutes. Sometimes that's enough to get me past my ADHD induced agitation and let me get a decent nights sleep.
Those Muscle supplements also have substances that are supposed to cause an increased metabolism but mainly work like caffeine.
One of the oddest things about Adderall, to me, is the way it makes my heart race, but my mind and by extension body slow down. Normally I'm just bouncing around following whatever impulse strikes me from moment to moment. Adderall brings a certain sort of clarity for me. I can concentrate without trying.
Sometimes I try to see how long I can sit still and not move just because it's a novel experience. (I realize that sounds stupid, but it's true. I can't sit still on my own. So being able to do that is incredible to me.) Anyway, I think it's really odd to feel your heart beating faster and your pulse, blood pressure and heart rate are all up, but you feel really calm and relaxed and not excited at all.
Imagine what that kind of mental clarity combined with drowsiness and the brain hormones contained in those supplements. Not to mention the effects of heavy exercise. His brain and body were probably ready for a nice nap, but his nervous system was pumped up on whatever is in that stuff he took.
You should take him to the pharmacy and help him talk to the pharmacist about what kind of vitamins and OTC meds are safe to take with his prescriptions.
Yeah. That's the thing. I always thought I don't care what other people think about me, but I was just lying to myself. During the period where I was laid off from work, I was really turning in on myself. Not sad, just empty. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't want anyone I used to work with at my old job to see me at all. I was avoiding talking on the phone and missing job interviews. I procrastinated on job applications because I just couldn't face explaining why I was out of work. I dreaded the idea of getting a job at a retail place where I might see anyone I knew. I didn't really think about how afraid I am of other people sometimes.
I never felt unworthy that I can remember. I just didn't have much enthusiasm about meeting new people or even being around other people. At some point, I realized I was stalling and hiding. This time I did two interviews and they were so easy I couldn't believe it. I was afraid I'd messed up as usual, but they were very enthusiastic about bringing me on board. It makes me want to do well because I don't want to let them down. I want to prove them right about myself.
I hope things work out for you, Tina. For once I don't know what kind of advice I could give you. I want you to feel better and find a happy place too. But I can't tell how much of what's going on in my life is chemically induced or not. I always try to keep my chin up, but that's not the same as being happy. Sometimes, that's all it takes to get by until happiness finds us again. Just make the best of whatever life throws at us and remember just enough to make the stories we tell about it later interesting.
Just remember, you have me on your side. Congrats on the new baby (or is it babies?) too. I miss the days when my little monkey was a baby and I could put her some place and she'd stay there. The way things are now, we bump into each other as we're bouncing off the walls. She's a lot like her dad including her attention span and short term memory problems, but I'm tying to make it fun for her. It's hard for me to keep up with her she's all over the place and so am I. Enjoy it while it lasts and they're so little and amazing. I'm happy for you.
Thanks for reading my post and commenting on it. I hope you feel better soon. There's a whole world out there and it's not waiting for anyone. So, get out there and enjoy it.
Nearly everything you're describing is textbook ADHD.
If you're talking about him like that here, then you're thinking it. If you're thinking it, you're pushing it on him even if you don't mean to do it.
I have ADHD. I grew up with people who didn't understand what was wrong. When I got the right treatment, things improved a lot.
He's moody. Yeah. He's a teenager. What teen isn't moody?
He's impulsive. Duh! ADHD.
He's lazy? Really? Is he just lying around doing nothing? Or is he doing lots of stuff, but none of it productive? Is he playing video games instead of doing boring homework?
He lies? Are you sure he's actually lying? Or maybe forgetful?
Wow! A 12 YO ADHD boy teased someone? Who ever heard of that? That seems normal for any kid ADHD just makes it more common.
Talking sassy to a teacher? Hmmm... That sound like impulsive behavior to me. He just said the first thing that popped into his head before he thought about it. Also ADHD.
Porn? He's a boy. He's 12. He's curious. Nothing very unusual about that.
He lied about he porn? What do you expect? In his place, you'd lie too.
Now take a deep breath.
First. Relax. Read up on ADHD. If he's not seeing a psychiatrist, you're not doing him any favors. He needs professional help. The PCP isn't the best choice. Psychiatrists are specialists. They have the training and experience to get to the bottom of it.
Second, mind your manners. You already know he's going to be impulsive and make mistakes. When he does, make him fix it, but get off his back. Don't nag him. Help him come up with a system to get himself organized.
Make him do his homework. Don't say, do your homework and walk away, sit down with him. Help him with anything he doesn't understand, but be relentless. Homework gets done first before anything else. Make it normal. Make it routine. Make sure he get his assignments. Get his teacher to send you the assignments so you can back him up if he forgets to write it down.
Don't stress about the porn. Talk to him about it honestly. Don't be preachy. He's curious. Tell him the truth so he doesn't fill his head up with internet fantasy. If you can't do it, get his dad or an uncle or someone you and he trust to talk to him "man to man."
If you hassle him, nag him and try to punish away his ADHD, You're doing the wrong thing. He lies because he wants to avoid the consequences. Do your part to make sure the punishment fits the crime. ADHD is NOT a crime. Forgetting your homework is not the end of the world have him fix it and move on with your life. Put it behind you once it's resolved. He knows he messed up. He also can't figure out how to please you when his brain won't cooperate. Get off his back. Give him a hand and get out of his way. Mind your manners. Be polite. You have no idea how important that is.
Calm down make sure he understands that you are not the enemy. Start by being frank, honest and direct. He may not be able to figure out what you're saying if you use analogies or imply something without saying it outright.
Make sure he knows that telling the truth won't make it worse. Also keep in mind he may not be able to say why he's done something, but you won't take "I don't know for an answer." So what's he got left? Lies. When you don't know the truth and you cant say I don't know, you have to make something up.
His self esteem is low because you think he's a mouthy, lazy liar. He's not doing that stuff on purpose. He's not entirely in control of his impulses. That's what ADHD is. Your brain parses your impulses into good and bad, his doesn't. His impulses become instant action. You may thinks someone is a jerk and smile instead. He thinks they're a jerk and says they're a jerk. It's nothing more than that. Same with the lighter and the rest of it. He can't learn away ADHD. That's why he doesn't learn from experience. He's wired that way.
He cares. He needs help. Don't put him down. Build him up.View Thread
I was diagnosed with ADHD 2 years ago at the age of 37. I've been receiving treatment since then. Therapy and medication. I've been taking Adderall XR for most of it. It helped. But it left me feeling kind of stuck like a pair of rusty pliers. Since then I've learned a lot about myself during therapy. I take Zoloft for my OCD tendencies. I refuse to admit I have true OCD for some reason I definitely have trouble with social anxiety and a few other things that didn't seem odd to me before. I thought I was pretty happy with Adderall-XR except for the stuck feeling. I usually feel pretty good when I'm not on Adderall so I used to skip it a lot if I didn't have anything important going on. At the time I started on it I was in a boring job, then I got laid off. So I had a lot of time on the meds where it didn't matter very much. Normally, I don't like to talk on the phone because it's hard for me to follow a conversation or pickup on the nuances if I can't see the person's face. I tend to drift an ask the caller to repeat things. Job interviews scare the crap out of me. I just lock up and freeze like a deer in the headlights when they ask non-technical questions. (I'm a computer guy.) I'm not sure how to say this. So bear with me. Since Zoloft was added to my treatment, things have really changed for the better. I answer the phone when it rings instead of staring at it trying to figure out if I want to try to talk to whomever it is. Good thing too because I got a job interview out of it. The interview so well, I thought they were messing with my head. After two interviews, I got the job. That was 6 weeks ago. I'm doing very well. I'm learning a lot of new things very quickly. I don't feel like I'm out of place like I have nearly all of my life. I don't worry as much about what people think about me. Yeah, so. Why write that right? What's the problem? I don't know. Something seems wrong. I'm not sure why. For most of my life, I usually I start out the day kind of blah and talk myself into being up beat. It works OK. I usually feel competitive with other techs. I'm not sure if that's the word, but I usually feel like I'm hanging on by a thread and everybody knows it. So I have to work extra hard to keep up. Most of the time I'm actually doing very well so then people think I'm showing off. That makes me feel worse. Day in, day out. When a person gets wound that tight, the tension becomes normal and you can kind of work around it, but it weighs you down more than you might realized. It's not like that now. Since adding Zoloft, I'm happy. A lot! I'm not used to that at all. At work, I feel relaxed and competent. Even though I'm the new guy here, I've been in this field for many years. I have a lot of experience, more than anyone else in my department, so I don't feel like the new guy at all. Somehow I'm keeping my foot out of my mouth and absorbing everything they're teaching me about the equipment and software we support. Last week, I basically asked the boss to "give me something to do, I'm bored." as he puts it. He thought I was complaining at first. I was really telling "Put me in Coach, I 'm ready to play!" I found out that most people they hire get overwhelmed and hide behind their computer's for months on end so he didn't expect me to jump in and swim. He's still holding me back a bit, but he gets it. I feel like things are just TOO EASY. I feel like I'm on a reality show and somebody is going to jump out and make me look like an idiot for believing it's real. I'm not complaining. I like being in control of myself and being on my game. I've never had both at the same time before. Is it really possible that non ADHD people live like that? I'm used to fighting myself for every inch of progress. It seems too good to be true. Like someone put the game on easy mode when I'm used to playing on extreme difficulty level. Is this what they meant when they told me to "apply myself?" Is life really that easy for "normal" folks? Thanks. - ChrisView Thread
I agree with that, as long as it's not punitive in nature. Especially when the offense wasn't intentional. I don't mean to sound blasphemous, but I think my generation and all that came before me got punished enough for all the rest of the kids with ADHD now in in the future.
Life skills and constructive behavioral modification are necessary even if a person is taking medication. Behavior modification isn't the ONLY treatment method and punishment is ridiculous. You can't expect punishing someone for something they can't control to have any good effect in the long run.
Be nice to your ADHD kids and loved one's they have it pretty rough already and could probably use a helping hand and a little understanding.
This parent is basically saying her husband puts the ADHD kids in timeout just to get them out of his hair. That's just wrong especially if they're being punished for things that are out of their control. ADHD kids can be bad on purpose just like anyone else, we just have a harder time being "good" on purpose all the time.
Medication and counseling are important tools and should also be considered. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for finding ways to get along without meds. But I'm not prepared to say ADHD is just a bunch of bad behavior with a polite sounding label. I'm living proof that a person who gets the right kind of treatment can modify their own behavior a lot more efficiently than accumulating hours in timeout thinking about everything and anything except the reason their frustrated parent put them there.
Be nice. That's all I'm saying. It's better for everyone.
ADHD isn't broken. ADHD is just different. Allergy meds are still meds. The right tool for the job in your case. That's not the same for everyone. I have allergies and ADHD and ODD and OCD. Before I got treatment, I was a mess. Now I'm doing great. I take the medicine I need to fix what ales me an no more.
My ODD isn't a neurological thing. I wasn't always that way. I was a good kid. I turned the corner as a teen when I finally realized that nobody knew what they were doing. I became so defiant it didn't even make sense to me. I just couldn't stand the thought of anyone trying to push me around anymore. I was tired of being crammed back into the box. I quit school and took my own path and I've never looked back in regret. I did what I had to do and it was the right decision. But I wouldn't want my kid to go through what I did. I think she could handle it, but it's no fun. I want my kid to enjoy life and be the person she is. If that includes ADHD fine. I'll help her with that and get out of her way. Boxes are for products not people.
Never let your kid think they're inferior or "special." Make sure they know that there is potential for success no matter who they are. Be who you are and do the best you can.
ADHD kids need a little help. That's all. Just a little kindness and understanding. Not punishment. If you know a kid is bilogically predisposed to running late and forgetting things, you should cut them a little slack and put some time in their schedule to fix their mistakes. Why is that such a big deal? Why do we have to ruin a kid's childhood because he's not quite like most of the other kids in his class?
If medicine will help your kid the most, you should consider it. Why not? If you don't actually have any experience, you should rely on the medical advice of your doctor. They're the professional. They know the facts. They have the expertise. Be honest and open with the doc and help then do a good job. Your kids life depends on it. Don't let them down.
All it takes to put up a page on the Internet is about $30.00 and a computer. Just because you see it on the web doesn't make it true. Be sure of your source. Doctors go to school for years. They're trained to do a job. Psychiatrists are brain specialists. They're the people you should talk to about your mistrust of medication have them explain it and ask for alternatives. You have that right. But if the doc things meds are the best choice, take that advice seriously.
Meds helped me. That's not something I'd just say. It's from the heart. If I'd received proper treatment as a child my life would have been very different. Don't let your kid down.