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"Sam" was with us from August 23 to Dec 10th. We did apply to adopt him, but DFS chosed a diffrent family to adopt him. I am sad that he had to leave, but very happy he never has to move again.
Anthony was born December 23rd, only 2 days early. He weighed 5 lbs 8 oz and was 19 inchs long. He came home with us on Christmas Day and is a delight every day. even the days of no sleep. His finalization for his adoption is going to be in September sometime.View Thread

and THANK YOU for the comment

Always remember- Family is not nessisarily who you were born with, but who you CHOOSE.View Thread

His birthcertificate even had blank for his father's info cause his mom will not say anything about him, even 35 years later. All we know is he left her when she got pregnant.
DH's stepfather came into the picture when he was almost 6 and he never formally adopted Ashley but never treated him less than his own either. We have no doubt if something had happened to Ash's mom, Ash's step dad would still be there for him. (unfortunatly his stepdad passed away a few years ago) Ash's stepfamily still treat him as one of their own. Ash does also have a half sister 10 years younger than him and those 2 are inseperatable emotionally.
You have the classic Cinderella fear
Too many Disney "Evil step mothers"
View Thread
I do think your best bet is to stay in contact with the adoptive family sense they are willing to work with you. They probably understand you too, and want to make sure you have that contact. They are probably just as curious about you. You do represent half of their daughter's history, and they probably don't want that lost.
Be honest in your letter. They arn't there to judge your character. Just to learn more about you. Write it from your heart. Write it "to" your daughter if that helps you. Either way I bet they save it in her baby book. Think of all the things you want her to know about you. Don't try to lay blaim for the break up on anyone. It happened. Nothing anyone says will change that. Don't worry about how long it's taking you to respond. They understand it's a hard thing to put to paper. They seem to be willing to work with you, but remember they have 100% legal care of the child, and if they feel that contact with you is harmfull to the child, they legaly can restrict you. most adoptive parents I know have only done that usually in cases where the bio parent has drug or legal problems.View Thread


However- it does depend on the state the birth happened in as to what rights the birth father has. Some states have ZERO rights- the birth mother can decide to adopt and even if the bio father is right there saying no, it can be done. Other states require "reasonable attempts to locate the father and attaine authorization for adoption" but no state has anything that would give you any rights 2 years later. Even if there was any possability, it would be a long drawn out battle that would be VERY expensive on your part.
Where I woudl start with your case is to ask your ex what agancy or lawyer she used to place the baby and if it was an open adoption, semi closed, or closed, then contact that lawyer or agency and see if you can obtain the same contact your ex has. if it's a total closed adoption, you wont get anything, but if it's open or semi closed, you might get at least updates and pictures.
As a foster parent of a 16 month old removed from his family, I would say unless you really feel you want to fight to the end and have the means to do so, to get your daughter back, then I wouldn't try. Even at 2, she has bonded with her family and would be devistated to be removed to live with a strange man. My foster son has night terrors because of the sudden change of families and he was just over a year old. Contact or updates would be your best option.
if you tell me which state your ex gave birth in, I can tell you what birth father rights there are.View Thread

We were licensed on Aug 1st and recived our first call on aug 23rd!
"Sam" is 16 months old and he's such a sweetie!View Thread

Maybe tag along with them on the next doctors apointment and voice your concerns to the doc for back up? you might also ask this on the parenting boards too, this isn't just an adoption question- this is a concerned sister question!

You might also get the book "Love and Logic" (I'm sure you know about it sense you have experience in child care -more experiece than I do!
) and leave it some where where your mom might have a chance to pick it up to read for lack of anything better.View Thread
It also depends on what kind of adoption you're interested in.
International adoption can result in medical and emotionally troubled children, but usualy are also very easily worked through, and you'd know what you were getting into before hand.
Domestic infant children have just as much chance of medical issues as any other child, and again, you'd mostly know what you were getting into before hand. Just as if you were carrying the child yourself.
Domestic Foster care adoption has the spotlight a lot, as they are trying to find homes for waiting children, so that may be where he's gotten the idea of a "problem child" because the ones televised have been in the system for a long time, and that does come with problems, plus the neglect or abuse that brought them into care. but again, the horror stories are few and far between. I knew a young man that was adopted at 15 after 10 years of being passed around in the system, plus the 5 years of neglect and abuse before that. You'd think he'd be a surly troubled youth destined for jail. But instead he's now 19 and going to a presigous law school to be a lawyer working with the foster system.
I dont have access to the list if websites but if you google you'll find plenty of good stories. You might check locally for an information seminar or support group.View Thread

You should also look into the laws for both FL and CO about father's rights. I know in Missouri, the father has to be notified of the birth and if he wants to contest the adoption , he has to register a punitive father registry. You might talk to a lawyer specializing in adoption or someone from an adoption agency.
I think there is a federal law requireing a father's name listed on the birth certificate. I'm not 100% sure though.
If you go to the website www.adoption.com , it has a lot of very good information.View Thread

Curent details- due in early December, father works in fast food, mother does not work currently, they are currently living with the mother's grandmother.View Thread
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