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Adoption Support Group

This a group for all those in adoption, first parents, adoptees and adoptive ... more

I'm was adopted...having fears & need an ear & voi...

I'm 25yrs old now & have my birth mom, but was adopted by my step dad. I never knew...

Posted by RoseLynn02

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:I'm was adopted...having fears & need an ear & voice? I'm 25yrs old now & have my birth mom, but was adopted by my step dad. I never knew...

Reply: What do you think i should do?

Hey hun, it's been 3wks since your last post. Is all well? Did you get to meet your LO...

Posted by RoseLynn02

20 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:What do you think i should do? Hey hun, it's been 3wks since your last post. Is all well? Did you get to meet your LO...

Reply: What do you think i should do?

Well than if that's they way you feel just be patient and make sure her parents know you...

Posted by RoseLynn02

Well than if that's they way you feel just be patient and make sure her parents know you don't have any negative intentions. They may not realize that you aren't trying to take her from them but that you simply would like to know her and that you understand they are her parents not you. You may be her bio dad, but they have all legal rights to her and by law they are her mom and dad. When my dad adopted me I even got a new birth certificate that says his name in the father spot and not my bio dads, so now the only way it shows he has any connection to me is from original documents that can't be accessed except under certain situations. I have those documents too, but I rarely need to use them. So as long as they know that you understand and respect that, they may chill out some. Honestly as long as she is theirs (especially if you don't get to see her till she is 18) you will most likely never me much more to her than a friend or distant uncle type person. And when she is older and understands that she was adopted she is going to have a lot of questions for you and she may even get mad at you or resent you. These are things you will need to prepare yourself for. I struggled with some of those emotions towards my bio dad, even as much as I love my adopted dad and know he loves me...for a long time I couldn't understand why my bio dad didn't want me. I eventually came to understand that it wasn't that he didn't want me...he just isn't dad material and doesn't know how to be a dad, but he is a drunk and a druggie. Totally different circumstances from your situation though you know? Regardless she will have her own questions and feelings about her adopting that she will most likely take out on you at some point, although she will eventually come to terms with it and understand things better as she gets older and older. Anyway I do wish you the best of luck and if you really want to be a part of her life than just don't give up. Let me know how it goes ok? and remember I'm here.View Thread

Posted byRoseLynn02

20 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:What do you think i should do? Well than if that's they way you feel just be patient and make sure her parents know you...

Reply: What do you think i should do?

Um...do you think she is yours? or do you question it? because if you believe with all...

Posted by RoseLynn02

Um...do you think she is yours? or do you question it? because if you believe with all your heart she is yours, then what everyone else thinks shouldn't matter & you didn't have to go there & ask something like that for other people. I don't think you over stepped either way, but I think it would have been smarter to ask that after a couple of in person visits where you got to know them & they got to know you first & then you could have explained that it's more so for you family & they would have known you well enough by that point to understand. I don't know them so I can't tell you if it's going to effect anything with them. For your sake I hope not. I don't think it's an unreasonable thing to ask, but honestly they can tell you no about everything, especially that, because she is technically theirs now...they could tell you that you need a court order for anything regarding her. Since you never formally signed your rights to her over, then if you had a good lawyer you may stand a chance of getting formal rights with a paternity test, but that depends on your states laws. You would have to look into it...although most lawyers give a free consultation to tell you what think your rights are in the situation, what they think they could do for you, & what their fees are. Problem is it could take a long time to get anything put into effect legally, years even sometimes. & then you risk completely disrupting her life & what she has come to know of it. Anyway, sometimes it can be a real catch 22. Like what do you expect from them? Do they know you never signed over your rights to her? Do you want to get her back or just see her once to know she has a good life or have a relationship with her or have regular visitation? Have you thought all this through to know what you expect of it all? because if you expect a lot more than to just see her when they say it's ok & if they say it's ok, you need to get a lawyer. I don't know what all you're wanting from this with her, so it's kind of hard to tell you much. You know? If all you want is to see her & know she is ok & maybe have some kind of a relationship with her that suits her adoptive parents, then just keep trying & make sure your intentions are well known so you don't scare them. If you want a paternity test tell them it's just because you don't want to interrupt their life if it turns out she isn't yours. You could get a paternity test done with out ever having seen her, so that you don't meet face to face with out knowing if she is yours or not...ask them if that works better for them, for you not to see her until they know the results. I don't know hun, you need to tell me more of what you're wanting from all this for me to give you any real helpful advice.
I was adopted. I have my bio mom, but my dad adopted me. I met my bio dad when I was 17 (my choice, I found him) & I hated him...I don't have a relationship with him at all, but I'm glad I met him & got to see who he really is. I think I would have thought about it forever if I hadn't met him. Turns out he is a real loser. But I'm sure your daughter will want to meet you at some point too...but you need to figure out what kind of a relationship you want with her & what kind you expect from her, & how far you are willing to go to get it. Anyhow, those are some big questions, I wish you luck. Let me know if you want to "talk", & I'll give you my opinions & try to help you out. k?View Thread

Posted byRoseLynn02

20 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:What do you think i should do? Um...do you think she is yours? or do you question it? because if you believe with all...

Reply: What do you think i should do?

They might be concerned about you taking them to court & attempting to get custodial...

Posted by RoseLynn02

20 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:What do you think i should do? They might be concerned about you taking them to court & attempting to get custodial...

Reply: What do you think i should do?

Congrats. I'm so happy for you & I hope it continues to work out well.

Posted by RoseLynn02

20 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:What do you think i should do? Congrats. I'm so happy for you & I hope it continues to work out well.

Reply: What do you think i should do?

Sounds good & I'll keep hoping for the best for you.

Posted by RoseLynn02

20 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:What do you think i should do? Sounds good & I'll keep hoping for the best for you.

Reply: What do you think i should do?

Oh dear, I'm sorry...I do hope you hear something from them soon. This can't be easy on...

Posted by RoseLynn02

20 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:What do you think i should do? Oh dear, I'm sorry...I do hope you hear something from them soon. This can't be easy on...

Reply: I'm was adopted...having fears & need an ear & voi...

I'll keep that in mind. Thank you so much for the support. & no thanks necessary,...

Posted by RoseLynn02

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:I'm was adopted...having fears & need an ear & voice? I'll keep that in mind. Thank you so much for the support. & no thanks necessary,...

Reply: I'm was adopted...having fears & need an ear & voi...

Thanks. It's nice to hear of someone else with a similar past. Especially coming from...

Posted by RoseLynn02

5 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:I'm was adopted...having fears & need an ear & voice? Thanks. It's nice to hear of someone else with a similar past. Especially coming from...

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