Hi, Carol, hope you're well. 1906? I'm not the least bit surprised, but I am curious where your information comes from. Do you have a link? I have always felt AD isn't new, as I generally believe that nothing is new (as with my own fibro). I'd love to read about this. Since I have not been able to complete a book in over a year, and I normally read five or more a week, maybe this will give me some incentive. Things are the same, actually worse, for me, and I'm beginning to think (and fear) that something more drastic may be needed to pull me up and out of this very dark hole.
Good morning, Carol. I want to express my sympathies to you and your aunt, and the rest of the family. I feel sure that your aunt will have care and compassion, and companionship from you and your mother. She is very fortunate to have you both in her life. You are such a gentle, empathetic person, and I know many of us appreciate a word from you when we need it. I hope you will all be able to rest a little and begin this new phase in your lives.
Hello, Carol. I appreciate your concern. I'm not going into a lengthy answer because nothing has changed, and I don't believe it ever will. I continue to be sick, cannot get out or do anything, and yesterday for me was my breaking point. I can't seem to do anything for anyone else, and I cannot continue to torture myself over my mother, my house, my body, or my life in general. I wish you well.
Hello, nana837. I was reading Carol's response to you, and I have to respond. How long has your mom had AD? Carol's reply about the mirror is something I have never heard about. My mom refused to shower for at least a year or more, and it was such a strain to deal with this. But having my own health problems, I believe that part of that is that it is hard if you feel bad, and I believe they actually forget how to do it. Realizing this has made me very sad. My mom is in a facility now, so someone else does it now. You must find a doctor with whom you can communicate. And you must assert yourself. I have found sadly that doctors really don't care about elderly people, no matter what their illnesses. I don't know how long you have cared for her, but you need to care for yourself before you become ill. I noticed your name, nana, and I am Nana also, so you must be in that sandwich generation. Please don't give up, you and your mom deserve assistance, answers, and respect. I wish you the best.
Hi, Carol. As you can see, it's late. I have spent this entire week in bed, and I cannot believe it's Saturday again tomorrow. It's supposed to be hot and sunny here, no rain, thank God. I hope yall get some rain soon, not like what they are having in the middle of the country. I guess I'm going to have to just accept the fact that when I can't get up, I just have to rest it through. My house, which I have mentioned before, just gets worse and worse, but I did call to see how much it would cost to have it cleaned. We cannot afford $75 an hour (don't you think that seems exorbitant?), so maybe one of these days, I'll get it done. I just wanted to check in for a moment, and say I hope you're well. I haven't read much this week, but I really do enjoy sending a good word to people here when I can. I must try to see Mom this weekend, so say a prayer for me. Thanks for all your caring.
Good morning, Carol. I think I have just overdone. I actually just stayed in bed all day yesterday, and it's such a waste. I am determined to get some things done today. If it ever stops raining, it will help. I would be happy to send you some rain. I have relatives and friends in different parts of Florida, but I don't talk with them often, so I don't really know what the weather is like. I'm turning on In Session to listen to the trial of the century, Casey Anthony. I hope you have a good day today, and I'll check in later.
Morning, Carol. I appreciate your thoughts. I didn't answer yesterday because I just wasn't up to it. My body is doing some weirder things than usual this week, and I'm just having a hard time communicating online, on the phone, in every way. I am ashamed to complain, considering the news, the catastrophes happening in our country and around the world, and the fact that everyone seems to have so much to deal with. According to the staff at Mom's facility, she is doing great. I'm not sure what great means, but I guess to them, great means she isn't a problem, she's comfortable and eating well, and for that, I'm glad. Saturday will make a year, I can't believe it. I was so hoping that by this time, I'd be better also. Oh, well, I'm not dead yet. As for the big 60, I suppose we must consider the alternative. I'm not ready for that either. Hope you're well. I'll check in later.
Hi, Carol. Just clicked on for a minute, and read all the posts preceeding. I had no idea (stupid me, I should have asked or at least realized) that you also have health problems. Who doesn't these days? I also didn't realize we are of an age, but 60 is head-on for me (July). Just wanted to say hello, hope you are doing okay. I found the other poster's history very interesting (re: mother's abuse, negligence, etc). I check in now and then, and I'm sure you have seen the last couple of comments I made. I wish it would stop raining here, as it only exacerbates my body ills.
To the previous posters (Hi, cjh): Any situation in which there is a diagnosis of Alzheimer's is devastating. We suspected my mother's Alzheimer's several years before the diagnosis was made, and it was not made any easier by that suspicion. The physician who diagnosed her was uneasy, rather unprofessional, and talked only with me (her daughter and only child). My mom did so poorly on the standard testing and was so pleased because she thought she did well. Mom was very aware that something was wrong, she would state from time to time that she was losing her mind, and as the disease progressed, she became less and less communicative and wanted to be alone more and more. We never tried to hide her disease from her, but she never understood what it was, and telling her over and over again was pointless. She was treated medically, and I did my very best as her caregiver, pretty much by myself for almost five years. I do agree that it would be terribly cruel to keep the diagnosis from the victim, but I disagree that every adult has a right to control over his or her life with this kind of impairment. Some adults are unable to make judgments and decisions without having any impairment (due to lifestyle, marriage, self-esteem issues, rearing, or any number of other reasons), and once AD begins to progress, decisions, even small ones, become frustrating, frightening, and/or impossible. It sounds as though a doctor who specializes in AD should have been consulted. It is always a wonderful thing to have more than one person involved, but every person involved should be able to interact logically and sensibly (and sensitively) with everyone else. Otherwise, people become angry, defensive, hostile, disinterested, and tend to run for cover. No one can do this alone, and should never expect himself or herself to do that. Nor should the caregiver be left alone intentionally. It sounds as though everyone needs outside, professional guidance. This venue is an exceptional place for advice, comfort, and resources. I wish you all the best, and hope the patient can be in a safe, comforting environment and get the best possible care.
As we all know, this could be any one of us in the future, either patient or caregiver.
Good morning, Carol. Thanks for your kind words. I have actually done exactly what you suggested with the letter. It was to other people over the years. I kept the letters and ran across them at separate times years later, and was surprised at what I had been able to say on paper. I wish I had sent the one, as it dealt with my son and his treatment during high school. But is was probably just as well that I didn't. I never have a problem expressing my feelings on paper, and normally no problem otherwise, but writing Mom a letter would be different, as I wrote her many letters, poems, and cards over the years, with deep love and respect. I used to want to be more like her. I'm glad now that I am not. Being such a doormat through the years with my dad caused her terrible health problems, and looking back, as I said earlier, I can see and realize things I wish I had never had to know. I continue to pray for her wellbeing and comfort, and I am working on forgiving her and forgiving myself. It's a long, difficult process, but I know for my own sanity I have to do this.
I am very interested in the administrator position, but I feel it would only be fair to other members here if I am where I need to be. Some days I am, some days I'm not. I'm a work in progress--isn't that funny, at my advanced age!
My heart goes out to your aunt and uncle. So hard for them. I'm sure they appreciate you.