My mom 72 has Alzheimer's or Dementia, not sure of the difference yet, and has been displaying the symptoms for a little over a year now. This past weekend I got her to move in with us. The aggression and the violence between my parents has now developed. I know Dad yells, has as long as I can remember, now though it is more viscous. Was visiting with my hubby and boys (7 and last Christmas and Dad started yelling at the 8 year old. I have never seen my husband so mad, he interceded, told Dad in no uncertain terms never to speak to his son like that again. He gathered up both boys and took us to a hotel to stay for the rest of the visit. We have not stayed in their house since and when I have had to go visit or help I go alone. I am not sure to what extent the violence has gotten to and who is hitting whom. We employed a caregiver 8 hours a day a month ago and she says it is a little on both sides.
All I know Mom is afraid and doesn't want to be there any more, so I again asked if she wanted to move in. She consented and I am relieved, now I can get her diagnosed. She would forget or cancel all the appointments I made for her. I am unsure how to proceed now and what I need to do next. Thankfully my brother has been doing their finances for the past year, but he lives in Southern California, and I live in Northern CA. He can probably still do that since Dad is still in the home with the caregiver continuing her services. Don't know how or if I should get some of Mom's things like her bed, dresser, TV or just get new for her room here. I am thinking just get new to avoid the upset on both parents part and less upheaval. Her personal affects we can gather as needed. The legal matters are another story. Do I get power of attorney, or does my brother, or both? Health care directive? I am looking on line and gathering info, but any advise would be appreciated. I suppose I will need a support group for her and us, I don't want to stress out the family or my boys more than they can handle. Just unsure of where to go from here.