The situation with your family and your mother sounds so upsetting, especially when you're already dealing with your husband's Alzheimer's.
I can't add anything to Dave's excellent advice, except to see if you can find a support group through your local Alzheimer's Association. Being able to talk to people in person and get the benefit of their experiences, and just some sympathy and understanding for what you're going through, can make everything a little bit easier.
I just read this fascinating article on the People's Pharmacy site about people who have been "awakened" from Alzheimer's by narcotic pain relievers. Even though this has been reported by only a handful of people, I hope it will be studied further.View Thread
Margaretsdaughter, I'm sorry you haven't received an answer to you question. I'm afraid I don't know of a good way for getting your mother into bed, other than what you're doing. Perhaps you could find a caregivers' site, and see if there are any tips there.
I forgot to ask: Are you under a great deal of pressure to excel academically? If you are, that is probably the root of all this, and something that counseling or therapy might help you with.View Thread
Dave is right that there's no way for us to know what's happening. I wonder if the anxiety might come from spending so much time by yourself and not talking to other people. Perhaps because you don't have other things to occupy your time and mind, you're focusing too much on how your brain functions and the fear that it might stop functioning properly. Nothing you've said would indicate Alzheimer's or any other type of dementia.
Rather than actually losing your memory, you seem to have a fear of losing your memory. It sounds like that is keeping you from interacting with other people, which is just as important to brain health as learning, a good diet, exercise, etc.
I actually think that the questions you ask yourself are interesting (""how did my mind conclude that I had to write 'never?""), and probably not abnormal, but I can see how they would make you feel anxious if they are constant.
Dave's suggestion of discussing this with your doctor is a good one. You might also try talking to some sort of therapist. Perhaps this is some sort of obsessive-compulsive thing.
One other thing you might try is volunteering or becoming involved with some group of people so you have some social connections. You need more than the academic part of your life in order to be mentally healthy; as with most things, balance is key.
I hope you can get some help to put your mind at ease.
Sometimes, drugs used to treat sundowning or agitation can have the side effect of increased agitation. You might try doing a search for the medications she takes, to see what possible side effect they have. You could also try taking a list of all her medications to a pharmacist, to see if any of them are inappropriate for your mother, or if there are interactions that could cause problems. Pharmacists can be more knowledgeable about things like that than doctors, since it's their field of expertise.
Have there been any recent changes in her medications or in her surroundings, or anything else? Has she been checked for a urinary tract infection or other health problems? Could she be in any pain or discomfort?
Maybe you could enlist the help of the staff and try to determine if there's anything in particular that precedes these episodes. Sometimes, just watching and paying close attention can give clues to behavior like this. For instance, does it just happen at bath time, or when someone turns off the TV or radio, or when she sees a particular person, or is asked to do one certain thing?
Is it possible that someone at the facility is treating her badly?
The drugs that are given to Alzheimer's patients to try to control violence and aggression can have serious side effects, so if you can find an underlying cause for the change in her behavior, that's the best thing. If not, though, sometimes the drugs become necessary, and the benefit outweighs the risk.
I'm sorry I can't offer more help, but I hope you'll come back and let us know how she's doing.
I'm sorry about your dad's decline. I know that you and your wife have first-hand experience with the entire progress of the disease, from watching her father go through it, but knowing it's going to happen doesn't make it any easier. It's hard to think of many things sadder than your own parent not knowing you by name.
I'm sorry your mother is having this problem, and I know it's a worry for you.
It seems very unusual for someone of your mother's age to have heavy vaginal bleeding. My inclination would be to have her seen by an OB/GYN. Even though she doesn't want any drastic measures taken, you don't want her to suffer any pain or discomfort. Once she is diagnosed, you can find out what the options are and go from there.