Sometimes, drugs used to treat sundowning or agitation can have the side effect of increased agitation. You might try doing a search for the medications she takes, to see what possible side effect they have. You could also try taking a list of all her medications to a pharmacist, to see if any of them are inappropriate for your mother, or if there are interactions that could cause problems. Pharmacists can be more knowledgeable about things like that than doctors, since it's their field of expertise.
Have there been any recent changes in her medications or in her surroundings, or anything else? Has she been checked for a urinary tract infection or other health problems? Could she be in any pain or discomfort?
Maybe you could enlist the help of the staff and try to determine if there's anything in particular that precedes these episodes. Sometimes, just watching and paying close attention can give clues to behavior like this. For instance, does it just happen at bath time, or when someone turns off the TV or radio, or when she sees a particular person, or is asked to do one certain thing?
Is it possible that someone at the facility is treating her badly?
The drugs that are given to Alzheimer's patients to try to control violence and aggression can have serious side effects, so if you can find an underlying cause for the change in her behavior, that's the best thing. If not, though, sometimes the drugs become necessary, and the benefit outweighs the risk.
I'm sorry I can't offer more help, but I hope you'll come back and let us know how she's doing.
I'm sorry about your dad's decline. I know that you and your wife have first-hand experience with the entire progress of the disease, from watching her father go through it, but knowing it's going to happen doesn't make it any easier. It's hard to think of many things sadder than your own parent not knowing you by name.
I'm sorry your mother is having this problem, and I know it's a worry for you.
It seems very unusual for someone of your mother's age to have heavy vaginal bleeding. My inclination would be to have her seen by an OB/GYN. Even though she doesn't want any drastic measures taken, you don't want her to suffer any pain or discomfort. Once she is diagnosed, you can find out what the options are and go from there.
I just read this article on the People's Pharmacy site, about a promising study on mice showing that a certain kind of cocoa may be able to prevent the plaques that can cause Alzheimer's. It sounds like there's a lot more research to be done, but it's a pretty painless way to try to protect your brain!
Can you tell him that the doctor's office called, and they need to see him again? Maybe tell him that one of the tests has to be re-done, or something?
I think that Tanyajohn is right -- it's probably best not to bring up the possibility of Alzheimer's right now.
You might contact your local Alzheimer's Association. Unfortunately, I think a lot of families run into this kind of resistance, and the people at the Alzheimer's Association probably have experience with it, and may be able to give you some advice.