verysad, please give the Alzheimer's Association a call. They can offer some help by phone. Let them know your whole situation, including that it is difficult for you to get out because you're in a wheelchair. There is also an incredible amount of helpful information and support on their web site .
You need some support right away. You are angry with your husband for something that is beyond his control, and that anger is making a miserable situation even harder to bear, on top of your own problems. It's understandable that you are angry with your him, but it is his disease that is making him say the things he does. It seems almost impossible not to take it personally, but you can't. You need to find a way to get breaks from him and to get help with the many areas of your life that are so difficult now.
Momrich, if your husband's primary doctor refuses to give him any medication, take him to see a neurologist who specializes in Alzheimer's. Medication can help slow the progress of the disease, but he needs to start it as soon as possible.
For both of you, try contacting 211 . They are there to help people in situations like yours. They know all the resources available and can send you in the right direction.
My heart goes out to both of you. I'm so sorry for all you're going through.
Judy, I feel for you, still having boxes to unpack. I hope you get settled in soon, and that your new place will start to feel like home.
Dave, I'm glad your dad is doing well. Do you get to see him fairly often?
It's good to hear that your family had such a nice holiday. My family and I did, too. I'm always so sorry when it's over for another year. One thing you can count on, though, is that the holiday season will be looming again before we know it!
It is normal for Alzheimer's patients to treat their loved ones -- especially caretakers -- badly, unfortunately. That doesn't make it easier for you, I know.
When he does treat you badly, try to remember that it's the disease saying those things, not him. That won't make it easy, but might make it a little less hurtful.
Are you getting any help in caring for your husband, so you can get some breaks? It's important to make time for yourself or the stress will take a physical and mental toll on you.
Is your husband on any medications for his Alzheimer's? Do you think his doctor truly understands how your husband's behavior is affecting you?
Perhaps the best thing you can do for yourself is to join an Alzheimer's Association support group in your local chapter. A lot of people there will have been through similar things and can probably give you advice to help you deal with it. Just talking with people who have been down the same road can make the burden more bearable.
I'm so sorry about what your father and you are going through. It's extremely common for people who are exhibiting signs of Alzheimer's or other dementia to refuse to see a doctor about it. I imagine that they're so afraid of what they're going to hear that denial seems like a better choice.
If he hasn't been tested, are you sure that what he has is Alzheimer's? There are other conditions that can mimic Alzheimer's or have similar symptoms. Sometimes, it's something as simple as a urinary tract infection or reaction to a medication.
Maybe you could call his doctor, tell him/her your concerns and ask that the doctor's office call your father and tell him it's time for a regular checkup. If you wait for your father to approach your doctor and ask to be tested, it will probably never get done.
It would be a good idea for you to contact your local Alzheimer's Association and talk to someone there about your situation; joining one of their support groups would probably be very helpful to you.
When you say "i feel like I looking at my Dad but he is not there" you're describing the most heartbreaking part of the disease.
I hope you can get some help in getting your father diagnosed so he can begin treatment that may help him.
I'm so sorry for all you're having to contend with. It's tough enough to deal with dementia in one family member, much less two. Being so far away makes it that much harder, I know.
I would suggest that you contact your local Alzheimer's Association and talk to them about your situation with both your mother and your mother-in-law. They should have resources that can provide you with more help, and suggestions for dealing with all that's going on.
In the meantime, please be sure you take good care of yourself. You have an enormous amount of stress in your life, so please do whatever you can to ease it even the slightest bit.
My heart goes out to you. I hope the Alzheimer's Association can give you the assistance you need.
I did not, and would not ever, suggest that the patient be locked in the house when she was alone, and did say that I agreed with Dave that she needs care 24/7. I'm not sure how my reply got so misconstrued by the previous poster.
I would never, ever, ever suggest that someone be locked in a house with nobody there. That's why I agreed with Dave that the patient needs round-the-clock care and mentioned that in my post.View Thread