I'm very sorry about your father's dementia. As Kathy said, you're really fortunate to have another family member for support.
If your father has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, is he taking any medication for it? Have you spoken to his doctor about his outbursts? There are medications that may help with that, too. It's a fairly normal part of Alzheimer's -- and probably other dementias -- but it's very distressing, especially if it gets bad enough to make people afraid of him.
If he is unable to handle his affairs and unwilling to sign the necessary documents, an attorney can help you. It would be good to find one who specializes in elder law. It doesn't need to be horribly expensive, but definitely needs to be done.
If you haven't been to the Alzheimer's Organization site, please check it out. There is an enormous amount of information there. There's a section on financial and legal matters that you may find especially helpful right now. A local Alzheimer's support group can also make going through this a little easier.
As far as feeling agitated with your father, please don't feel guilty. You're in a terribly stressful situation and it's completely normal to feel frustrated sometimes. No matter how much you try to remember that the frustrations are caused by the disease and not willful stubbornness by your father, sometimes things just bubble over. It's one of the reasons a support group can make such a difference. Everyone loses patience now and then -- it's just part of our human nature.
You are being a kind and loving child, and your father is fortunate to have you to care for him when he needs you.
I found this on the site of a company that sells coconut oil: [a name="4">" Does Coconut Oil need to be kept in the refrigerator, and how long does it last? No, coconut oil does not need to be kept in the refrigerator. In the Philippines and other tropical climates, where the ambient air temperature is much higher than North America, people traditionally have not refrigerated coconut oil. Virgin Coconut oil is very stable since it is unrefined and mostly saturated. The expiration dates on our Virgin Coconut Oils are for two years, and on our Expeller-pressed coconut oils they are 18 months, but they will usually be fine much longer than the expiration dates. We do recommend you store the oil out of direct sunlight. In the tropics coconut oil is almost always a liquid, since it's melting point is about 76 degrees F. In North America it will usually be a solid, butter-like consistency. It can be stored in either form."
If there was mold in the bottom of the bottle you had, maybe it would be good to contact the manufacturer and see what they say about it. It doesn't sound normal.
I don't know if anyone here listens to "The People's Pharmacy" on NPR, but they did a show a few weeks ago that included a discussion with a doctor from Duke University about this subject. There are other topics covered in the show, also, but you can forward through whatever you aren't interested in.
Hi, Kathy. Even though you know your husband isn't going to seem normal all the time, you must feel so grateful for the times he does. I imagine that seeing him cook breakfast gives you such a happy start to the day.
I hope that you'll both have more good days than bad for a long time.
Hi Kathy. Sorry, I misunderstood the situation. I'm glad that you don't have to think about hospice for a long time.
I do think that a lot of Alzheimer's patients go through a violent phase, which has to be awful. There are medications that can help. I think that most of them carry some risk for dementia patients, but it's one of those cases where the benefits often outweigh the risks.
My uncle went through a violent period, where he would even sometimes chase my aunt with a knife. The doctor prescribed something (don't remember what it was, but I think it was an anti-psychotic drug) that made a big difference. She was able to keep him at home. He died of a stroke, though, so if he'd lived longer, it might have been a different story.
Besides the company you've contacted, you could also get information about your options from the Alzheimer's Association, or your local Council on Aging (or whatever it's called where you live). You could get some unbiased information that way, to help you weigh the choices.
Trying to plan for the future as your husband's disease progresses is probably going to give you some peace of mind, even if it's something you'd rather not have to deal with. I'm not one for planning far ahead, either, so I admire you for getting a jump start.
If your husband's doctor thinks that your husband has less than six months left, he would qualify for hospice care, which can be done at home, in the hospice house or in a nursing facility. They are a godsend and take care of absolutely everything. It's something your doctor would need to arrange.