Hi I have been in a relationship with my partner for several years now I had sex with a previous partner a...
Posted by An_263885
Hi I have been in a relationship with my partner for several years now I had sex with a previous partner a few months ago all of a sudden I felt guilty and wanted to go get check for stds everything came back negative I didn't get a blood test for hiv bc figured I didn't have that all of a sudden 2 months after the incident I started having a mild sore throat that has prolonged for a month, I had headaches but they have went away now I feel like I have lymph under armpit and I know def a swollen one under my jawline, I have had tingling sensations in bottom area and I can't get the though out my mind that I may have got hiv the doc prescribed me with low dosage of zanex but recommend to take im evening all of my worries are doing the day, i stay on the Internet reading about symptoms and I can't focus on my job, or things that I need to focus on...was just wondering could worry or guilt cause aniexty or physical symptoms to the body? Am I obsessed with possibly have contracted this disease? Do I need medication? Please help....ps I HAVE TAKEN 5 ORAQUICK TEST AND ALL NEGATIVEView Thread
I am very depressed for last two months.two months ago I sat on the hiv dried blood in hiv clinic.actually I went to clinic to meet my cousi she was working there.i had a fresh chafed skin on my thigh,so I feared that it will transmit hiv through my open sore.when I asked about this my cousin said no problem about this becoz hiv wont live long outside the body,but still I fell very stressed about that.and also for the last two months I am experiencing pain on my arms wrist legs and on my foot.this is very new to me.for the past 20 years it never happened to me.so it make me feel that I am having hiv.i am thinking about this over and again.i cried a lot for the last two months.i don't know how I am going to pass this.pls help meView Thread
About 2 1/2 years ago, I began taking 0.75 mgs of Klonopin each day (0.25 mg pill, 3 times/day). I am now coming off the medication, as I have been using other methods (w/o meds) to reduce anxiety.
I'm currently in the first tapering off phase, having dropped my daily dosage to 0.50 mgs (2 pills a day). This phase will continue to 30 days.
I have noticed the following withdrawal symptoms:
1. Nausea (only in the morning) 2. Lightheadedness/"brain fog" (only in the morning) 3. Weakness/shakiness (only in the morning) 4. Heavy volume of urination during sleeping hours 5. Slight oversensitivity to noise
I assume these are fairly common symptoms, and I assume these symptoms will worsen when I go into the next tapering off phase, which is 0.25 mgs per day (1 pill). The plan is to stay on 1 pill for 30 days, before stopping the med altogether. I assume these symptoms will worsen after that.
1. Is this tapering off plan ok for me, considering my age (late 60s)? 2. How long will it take to be free of all withdrawal symptoms after stopping the med? 3. I am treated with 4 blood pressure meds for hypertension. Will the withdrawal of Klonopin affect my blood pressure in any way?
I apologize in advance for the length of this post but I really need some help.
Last October I tried pot for the first and only time and had a horrible reaction. My heart rate jumped to about 170, I was scared out of my mind (alone in my apartment) and I really thought I was going to die. I ended up being taken to the hospital in an ambulance. I seemed fine for about a month until I had a beer and started to feel I guess light-headed? and started freaking out for no reason. My heart rate jumped (but not as high as before), I started shaking, couldn't sit still or stay in the apartment, I just had to get out of there. That started what I call my week of Hell. For the next 5 days I felt like I was dying and couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. Towards the end I was leaning towards ending my life just to get everything to stop. 3 or 4 trips to the doctor and hospital later I had a diagnosis for panic attacks and some Xanex that just seemed to barely make me functional again.
Fast forward to today (about 10 months after the first panic attack) I am on Buspirone and Effexor for anxiety and I am still sometimes struggling. I always have a baseline anxiety that I can't get rid of, I can't remember the last time I was totally relaxed or happy. Even this long after the initial episode every time my heart rate increases I get paranoid that I am going to have another panic attack. Sometimes my panic attacks seem to be linked to stressful situations, sometimes they are just out of the blue, so I always have them in the back of my mind and watching out for signs they are coming on.
I am so tired of having this constantly hanging over my head and I don't know why this is still affecting me. Any ideas or suggestions would be helpful, I just don't know what else to do.View Thread
I am taking my medications as prescribed by my doctor. I have several, some for anxiety and some for pain. I took one UA as required and neither showed up in my UA, so they figured it was a false negative or I was not taking my meds. I am however, like clockwork. I cannot function without them. They scheduled me another one and I went in and took it. Again, nothing showed up. They are perplexed, both my PCM and my Psych DR. I will say however, I am a 1%er on most things. I asked if some of the other meds I take would interfere or block the results and the answer was no. So...I was wondering if anyone had the same issues or had any answers. I do have several physical issues, rather strange, quirky, unique and I due have PTSD, which has led to other issues.View Thread
When I was about 9 years old, I was diagnosed with OCD. When I was 12 I went to an outpatient program that helped me a lot with my compulsions and obsessions. Now I'm 18 years old and I just started college last year.
Towards the end of this past March, I first tried weed. Over the next two months, I got high about 10-15 times, until one day I just decided to stop. About ten days later (around the beginning of June), I began to feel very out of touch with reality. I felt like I was in a dream state and I felt stuck as if everything around me was fake. It kind of felt like I was still high, even though I hadn't had any weed within a week. After some searching online, I found that the best description of what I was feeling is derealization. I tried describing this phenomenon to my friends, and they were all very sympathetic but none of them really understood what I was going through. Ever since I first started experiencing this derealization, I've been going in and out of feeling like the world around me is real and feeling like the world around me is fake. Around last month I started looking up different effects weed has on derealization, and it said that sometimes it can be a problem, but the derealization that can be induced by weed is no different than normal derealization.
However, I also read some articles that said weed can lead to schizophrenia (at this point I realized that maybe looking things up online was more harmful than helpful). Ever since I read that, I have been constantly afraid that I am developing schizophrenia. I looked at some other message boards online and I found that it is actually common for people with OCD to be afraid of developing psychosis, and that made me feel a little bit better. But only for a small amount of time.
I'm still afraid that I'm becoming schizophrenic or delusional. Every night before falling asleep, I feel as though I'm hearing voices or some sort of loud thoughts circling through my mind. These thoughts are really loud and frightening. It's hard to figure out exactly what they are saying, its more like random noises. For example, the other night it felt like a girl was screaming in my ear from far away. Every time I hear these noises, I know they aren't real. I know that I'm imagining them and that there isn't anything there. Yet I'm still so afraid that I'm developing a psychotic disorder.
My derealization has kind of turned into something else. I don't really question whether the world is real or not, but I question myself a lot. Often times I'll be completing a task feeling empty-minded and then all of a sudden I'll question my own mind's empty-mindedness. I'll be doing an activity like turning on the tv and I'll question my thoughts while I'm doing it, I'll ask myself why I'm not thinking of something better while I'm turning on the tv.
I'm really very scared that something could be wrong with me. I recently went to a psychologist, but she didn't help very much and I think I am going to search for a new one when I am back at college in two weeks. I also went to a physician and had blood tests done and the only thing wrong with me was that I had high blood sugar. Everything else was normal. I don't have any STDs. I feel like my life is spiraling down right now and I'm very scared that I am falling farther and farther away from the person I was earlier this year.
Do you have any idea what's going on with me?View Thread
my 6 yr old son has been doing this for the past 3-4 yr he doesn't like to eat around a lot of people and doesn't like when it is loud or he complains about smells he gets so anxious that he will start to cry and say hes stomach hurts even before he eats then hell start to gag and throw upView Thread
For a couple of days now my body has convinced me im having / going to have a heart t attack and die any time...
Posted by An_264198
For a couple of days now my body has convinced me im having / going to have a heart t attack and die any time soon! My chest, stomach, back, neck, arms and head has been aching and im freaking out thinking im going to die of a heart attack! I suffer from these symptons even when im not having a panic/anxiety attack so its making it hard to believe anxiety might be doing all these? I never had these symptoms before i got sick last week and ever since then ive been going through this!! I guess you can call it health anxiety!! I went to the er when i was sick and they did blood tests and a ekg and nothing was wrong! Sometimes the pain goes away if im not thinking about it! But thats hard considering how real these symptons feel, when will it stop?? Someone please help!View Thread
I ask because many years ago when they treated my IBS, they did frequently with these anti depressants. After I stopped taking them is when vision changes began to show up and never go away. Visual grain, floaters, negative after images, positive after images, intricate patterns or lines would bend and move like an optical illusion, double images in the peripheral field. I spent years trying to fix this with no eye or brain test showing any abnormality.
Recently I was put on effexor for panic disorder, which is dramatically worse, I stopped taking it due to side effects and soon after, I've noticed that my visual field vibrates. Random spots vibrate all over, especially over still images and white text over dark backgrounds.
This medication scares me and they want to push it at me to treat this seemingly untreatable beast of panic disorder which is agonizing every single day. I've put names to these symptoms, 1. Palinopsia, 2. Visual Snow, looking into both disorders always seems to link back to the use of anti depressant medication.View Thread
I have been dealing witb minor chest pains for weeks..a couple days ago my heart starting racing and i couldnt breathe. I called an abulance and went to the er. My initial blood pressure was 133/85 and was told my immediate ekg was not good. After being hooking up to oxygen i started to feel better but still had chest pains. I had an xray done and another ekg and they said everything looked good. I was diagnosed with anxiety attacks. Im conerned because if i let my valarian root wear off i start to feel nauseous and heart start racing. Can this really be anxiety attacks? When i start to feel this way im not stressing or thinking about much but the symptoms seem to be constantView Thread
Hi, I'm an 18 year old male about to leave for college(literally in three days). In January of this year I was completely healthy, and not stressed one bit. Out of nowhere I began to feel very sick, unlike anything I have ever felt in my life. My doctor originally thought it was a sinus infection, but antibiotics ended up doing nothing for me. I became extremely dizzy, could barely walk straight, I needed to sit down constantly to make it at least somewhat tolerable. And during this time I had a few other symptoms that terrified me. I lost 12 pounds in a little less than two weeks. I thought that I had leukemia at first, and that I would be dead soon. I also had this sensation that I was being lifted off the ground and pushed to the ground at the same time, I know it sounds weird. I went to the ER after I noticed the weight loss, and had a blood test. The Doctor said no leukemia, thank god.
He said I have a slightly low thyroid, but said it shouldn't cause these symptoms. After the ER I went home thinking I was ok, but the symptoms were still there, and I thought they would just go away soon. They never did, In fact they got much worse, fairly quickly. I would soon have a vision change that is hard to describe. I also had tingling and tremors in my hands and feet, not constant tho. After this I had a case of vertigo which sucked. My symptoms than progressed to tremors in my hands and feet. At this point I did have high anxiety, but I'm not sure if it explains my symptoms. During this time I had a lot of trouble breathing, I went to the ER for it, and they found nothing. It's late at night and am real tired, but to this day I feel like crap. I'm dizzy, tired, numb all over, feel weak in weird areas, am dizzy a lot, have horrible memory, have trouble finding words, and every day I think that my life is going to end soon. I have had a lot of tests and the doctors can't find anything, which is good, but it also leaves me to wonder if something more sinister is going on. I also feel like I'm dropping things more often, and an kind of uncoordinated. I feel like I have a new disease every month. First I thought it was a brain tumor, than MS, than ALS, now I think I'm going to get Guillain Barre Syndrome. I'm just so scared for my future. I would really appreciate someone's response.View Thread
I just caught wind of this advanced stage of depression. I am being treated for bi-polar, but there is so much more to my condition than mood swings and anxiety. I have become more irritable in recent months, and the mess that worked before, are not cutting it now.
I requested an urgent appointment to see my doctor about this severe condition and hope he doesn't give me more bipolar meds. In fact I'm taking him a web link to see what I'm dealing with, so this is dealt with in an effective manor. I hope he can find me some real treatment from a specialist to make this more bearable. I once considered asking about electro shock or what the modern day equivalent would be. 2015' and we're still popping pills. Mental conditions are so overlooked and underestimated even after mass shootings involving disturbed teens, twenty, and 30 something year olds mostly. This stuff is serious! People don't choose to have these feelings! They can be attributed by real life trauma, no matter how seemingly big or small. They can leave an impression.View Thread
I wanted to get some expert advice if you have ever heard of such a severe case and what your understanding...
Posted by An_264098
I wanted to get some expert advice if you have ever heard of such a severe case and what your understanding of it is.
I was born with a squint at birth and other complications and always appeared to have severe learning difficulties and serious memory impairment, I could never concentrate and take in hardly any information, Throughout my life I had not been able to store or retrieve pretty much all I learnt in life, I recall being an anxious child, feeling different and a little lost and confused always asking how other kids had so much knowledge. I felt inferior but couldn't understand what was wrong.
My brother was the opposite and would learn and recall everything with super memory. I could not concentrate on hardly any task such as reading and any gifts I had could not be nurtured as memory and concentration not there. The memory issues was in all areas, even faces, famous people, directions, almost everything to do with every day life. I seem to have always been stressed from a child as far back as recall and soon turned into physical Anxiety symptoms. I found my memory issues also made me anxious around people as did not have knowledge or social skills to discuss or explain things. I could not talk on phone and get palpitations, shaking and would not understand what people were saying. I began getting extreme Anxiety in all areas of life even at home. Symptoms were pretty much constant but some more than others and worse when around people. Symptoms included, Chronic Fatigue, fussy, dizzy, foggy head not taking in or grasping things around me, confusion, disorientation, palpitations, nervousness, irritability, nerves pulsating, palpitations and butterflies, I have never really functioned to know how to do things in the house or deal with any business matters or anything in life. My memory and nervy feelings prevent and I can't cope. It's all like so distressing so I don't do, even washing up or making a bed amongst pretty much all things. I can't even recall were things are in house and what I have. I can not go shopping or cook, Nothing much in life makes sense to me and have had pretty much all done for me though I was still normal and not in agony or torment until after taking a anti-depressed for first time in 2003 which made me have extreme burning sensations all over body, electricity shooting pains in head and body, no sleep for months, shaking violently, churning feelings in stomach and chest all swirling round like a ton of weight, with heavy depressive dull extreme pain, panting, crying out in agony all day and night, shallow restricted breathing like every second, suicidal and asking a million questions in my head repeatedly how everything is done and how people do things, remembering all my extreme issues with memory. The whole world seeming unreal and thinking am in hell with extreme constant unbearable torture. torment and terror. Stiff all over from tensing to the extreme, muscles so weak that can not even lift a cup and completely off balance, can not walk and speech gone. am all day repeating in basic English what's wrong in despair and what I have lived through all my life etc, I recovered from this but original anxiety heightened as was so traumatised, same thing happened again the second time taking Anti Depressant under 10 years and took 1&1/2 yrs to recover, now same thing but worse just as came off the Anti Depressants but worse. In room all day and night crying out constantly and with no sleep. Mind gone with intense suffering. Don't know even to do basic task like shower and need help, violently shaking and can't cope doing a thing for 1 second but cry out in extreme pain. Was gritting teeth with agony and teeth have moved position and from the acidic reflux I noticed teeth yellowing, half hair fallen out. Mouth and skin bone dry all the time and getting bed sores from being in bed 2 months. Is any of this heard off? Had perinatal hypoxia and neurological tests showed impaired memory.View Thread
I am 28 years old, 5'9" 160 lb male in good health, works out regularly, no disorders or known allergies. Yesterday, I felt fine and normal the entire day. I rushed over to catch the subway and decided to stand the entire ride. As we head underground, I begin to feel nauseated, followed by light headed, I then begin to see dark spots. I momentarily experienced syncope and exited the train. Felt a bit dizzy for a bit afterwards. I am experiencing a cold and stuffiness in my head. This has not happened to me before and I am wondering if this is something to worry about.
For the past two to three weeks I have been waking up at a certain time each night extremely frightened and...
Posted by An_264074
For the past two to three weeks I have been waking up at a certain time each night extremely frightened and either crying or just overwhelmed, it has also become very troubling to be able to go to sleep at a reasonable time each night and I am starting to fear going to sleep. I have been diagnosed with Generalized anxiety disorder and PTSD. I was diagnosed with these about three years ago, and nothing like this has shown up before?? I would like opinions from other people because I am so unsure of whats going on?View Thread
I have had GAD (general anxiety disorder) pretty much my whole life with panic attacks at bedtime. I have been through therapy and been on Ativan, Xanax, Klonopin (which all worked great) as temporary relief methods (about 6 months of correct usage) but I tried to avoid long use. So I went on all sorts of non-narcotics. Anti-Depressants make me angry and irritable (I am not depressed, just lowered serotonin from anxiety) Beta Blockers that controlled the production of adrenaline worked wonderfully but I have Hypotension (low blood pressure) so after 2 months of being on one I was hospitalized with an unreadable pulse. I was on Welbutrin which I gained about 50 lbs and it slightly worked for about 6 months. Hydroxyzine makes me very depressed and increases the panic attacks. I ended up in the ER with severe chest & heart pains, migraines and vomiting. I had been so sick I couldn't get out of bed.Turns out I was having very severe anxiety with extreme panic attacks that were causing a heart flutter... I went home with a small xanax script and a week off work. Within an hour after taking one .25 I felt like a person again, smiling and laughing, could breathe, motivated. It was like someone had saved me from drowning.
So my doctor doesn't do Benzo's and I understand that, but I NEED a medicine to help that works like Xanax that is NOT an anti-depressant and NOT a beta-blocker. I am so at a loss now at what to do. My doctor is Guinea Pig-ing me at this point
So today I blew a job interview thanks to my social awkwardness. The interviewer tells me at the end that it concerned her that I didn't make eye contact with her during the entire interview. I found myself apologizing and making it a more awkward situation. This isn't the first time my lack of social skills have ruined my life. My dating life is greatly afffected as well. I've been on dates were guys will tell me I'm so great and smart and pretty but my insecurity or shyness puts them off. I'm going to be thirty and things aren't getting better. I mean it's an issue I could go on but I pretty much have no social life outside of work, I go to the gym but that's about it. I can't even keep one guy interested in me because my shyness overcomes me. I'm starting to wonder if I need therapy again. I had counseling for depression in my early 20's but that's about it. I'm really heartbroken and I guess I just need someone to hear me out. I feel as if it has taken over my life and there's no way things will get better. ðŸ˜¥View Thread
Actually, 'intrusive thoughts' brought on by things you see on TV, read about etc., then having disturbing...
Posted by Anon_963
Actually, 'intrusive thoughts' brought on by things you see on TV, read about etc., then having disturbing dreams--and thinking--why am I having these? They make you feel 'nauseated' and even have more anxiety when you waken. Even feel guilty when, those things in the dream or that pop into your head, you have never done, nor would ever do. And so I have nothing to feel guilty about. So, why do they occur? It's something the way the brain chemistry works I'm told.
Then when you recall them--though I don't recall the details, just certain things will pop into my mind at various times, usually prompted by something on TV or that I've read about and that's quite enough! Some days I tend to dwell on them and that makes me very anxious---because it's 'not me at all!"
I've researched this some and found that stress, health issues, and depression all can bring these on.
I've even talked to a therapist about it awhile back, several sessions. I do not take anti-depressants. Cannot tolerate the side affects. Have tried several. So, trying to do what I can with relaxation techniques, keeping busy and having a positive attitude..
Was assured by this very good therapist they are just that--dreams, and intrusive thoughts that everyone has but some of us, who either have OCD--or just like myself, have the 'obsessive' part but not the rest of it. That was her diagnosis--I am obsessive--in that I worry about things--and become obsessive about them, when it isn't necessary.
She told me most folks have them at one time or another but just 'pass them over' and don't let it bother them.
Others, like me, dwell on them, feel guilty,when there is nothing to feel guilty about. Said she sees many patients dealing with these and recommends things like you have for anxiety treatment, etc. Also, assured me I was 'normal', but that I just let things 'get to me' due to the stress I am dealing with at this time.
Wondering what you think about this subject? I do practice some of the relaxation techniques you recommend. They do help so much. Sometimes though, the anxiety can really be difficult to deal with--and even taking Xanax (though it helps) can cause me to have bad dreams more often.
My primary said that is common for any drugs that affect the nervous system to also cause disturbing dreams. So--it can be a draining thing for sure at times. Thanks for any input you can give.View Thread
Hello, I have had an anxiety disorder for years. I usually have anxiety attacks with a few panic attacks....
Posted by An_263984
I have had an anxiety disorder for years. I usually have anxiety attacks with a few panic attacks. Since I was a kid I've noticed something weird that happens to me. Things get extra loud-- my surroundings, breathing, even my thoughts. Everything becomes over whelming and my body feels different. I am not sure how to explain it but I hate it. I'm hypersensitive and tend to pace. I get angry because everything is overwhelming. I'm not sure what it is. Has anyone ever experienced something like this? The episodes do not last very long usually about 10-20 mins. I really just want to know if I'm not alone and have someone else try to explain their experiences. Thanks!View Thread
Hi, I guess this is the right place for me to seek for help... I have OCD for years and a few years ago it becomes some kind of OCD for HIV...I cannot help relating everything in life with getting HIV. Whenever I have worry, I search on the Internet to prove that my thought is not a way of getting this virus. However, each time I get rid of the old HIV thought, a new one will come out in a short time.. I find out that each time I will keep imagining sth bad that I did not really see in reality. Here is one typical example of my thought recently:
"When I was walking by the bushes in the afternoon, I felt a sudden pain on my shank, then it just disappeared. After an hour, I came back home and examined the shank, I found no blood and no red wound on it. I could not find a painful part on skin either. But I cannot help thinking some bad guy was hiding in the bushes quietly and injected me with dirty blood when I walked by..." At first, I was worrying about poking me with needle, then I began to worry about injecting me with blood....The problem is: I did not notice anyone at that time, but i keep thinking maybe the bad guy is hiding in bushes... [br>I am so tired, I feel like my life is full of the fear of HIV...Please help..THANKS!View Thread
I have ocd since early teens. I usually just deal with it. Cannot tolerate any antidepressants so far. Had a genetic test done that shows that I have slow metabolism with a certain gene that affects the metabolism of most antidepressants. The psychiatrists at UAB believe in the validity of this test, but other psychiatrists I've been to don't. According to my results, Viibryd is one of the four new AD's in the green column. When I read the top side effects of Viibryd, I don't even want to try it! Dose anyone have thoughts of the Genesight genetic testing and Viibryd. I considering giving up on prescription meds, besides the benzos. Thanks! CamilleView Thread
So I haven't posted in a while but I thought I would. Since the post I seem to have this under control for now. It seems that I have to keep my Vitamin D above 60 to keep this under control. I still carry my Benadryl and Eppi pen with me at all times. Since this I have started having autoimmune issues and am now seeing several specialist for different things. But the Vitamin D was key for me. I know I need to relax but I can't. I am constantly anxious. I have since had another child and my Husband was finally able to go back to work a few months ago. My dr has been and is running test to see what is going on. But we still don't know. last year after my daughter was born I had a seizure and ever since the right side of my body gets numb, even paralysis in my face and right side of the body. No stroke which is good. So I believe my issue is developing into something else. But I did want to thank everybody for the responses. I just know have had time to read and respond. I will try to check back quicker next time.View Thread
hi i am a student. I was always concerned about my health. I felt I will die because my blood pressure will...
Posted by An_263868
hi i am a student. I was always concerned about my health. I felt I will die because my blood pressure will increase. 5 months ago my uncle died. I went there for the prayer...while I took part in the prayer I felt dying. I was sweating and feeling my blood pressure increasing and my heart was palpating so fast. That time I thought I would die. This situation continued about 2 and half hours. After that I was feeling fear about that I will face this situation again. After that i went to doctor. he prescribed me some medicine. after hearing the bad effects of medicine i discontinued the medicine taking. after that i felt good but my fear about death was no vanished. after some times again my situation turned bad and i felt dying. yesterday one of my neighbor died in stroke and hearing this i feel i also died. i am very much panicked and do not know what to do. last night i faced problem in sleeping. pleas help me. what i will do. one thing to say in that situation no rational thinking works. everything i felt was dying.View Thread
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When I was younger, sometimes I would think about smashing things or have otherwise inappropriate thoughts. I never acted on them, in fact I would immediately think "that was an awful thing to think about" so it wasn't an issue. More recently, I will still have that happen, for instance standing next to a friend and thinking "I could smack them right now." I have no real urge to do it though so I just try to let it pass.
My question is this. Do you also have thoughts like this? If you do, have they gotten worse or better? Have you ever had the urge to follow up on them?View Thread
I believe I have some kind of performance anxiety disorder, and would like to have an expert's opinion before seeing a doctor. Basically, whenever I need to do some kind of mental task, especially in front of somebody, as soon as I get something wrong, or am unsure of what I am doing, my brain freezes and I stop thinking straight. I forget what people told me 3 seconds ago and am not certain about even the most basic things anymore (taking it to the extreme, I ask myself is 2+2 really 4?!). I have always had sort of a stage fright in situation when I'm on the spot, but I feel like it is becoming worse.
I do not consider myself to be a stupid person, having just finished a college engineering degree, and I can think and react fast in most situations when I'm not "on the spot". Nor do I consume drugs or excessive amounts of alcohol. However, my upbringing was pretty rough, and my parents were always VERY strict about grades, until recently. The stress of performing badly still haunts me in daily tasks, and when I get into this "brain-freeze" state, as mentioned above, I stress even more because I am aware of it, and then perform even worse, and it becomes a vicious cycle of bad performance leading to anxiety and vice versa.
Here is a more concrete example. I have been taking music lessons for a couple months. The first couple lessons I did great, and acquired the new concepts pretty quickly: the teacher seemed impressed. But when I started having more advanced material to play/understand and my teacher expected me to do my homework, things started becoming much worse. I do not wish to talk about it to her, since she's not my psychiatrist, but at the same time she must be wondering why I have become such a bad student. I forget notes that I learned a month ago, I can't play songs I knew by heart just a couple hours ago at home, etc. And worst of all, I can't improve when I am in this state! I listen to her instructions, play it properly one time, and the next time I already forgot what to do! I get quite sweaty when this happens and overall a feeling of guilt after my lesson, which has recently made me reluctant to even touch my instrument, because it reminds me of how much I sucked.
What should I do? I don't want to take meds. Can somebody recommend some practical advise or a way of thinking about it that would make me less anxious when this happens? Also, what could I do on the long term?
Sorry for the wall of text, and thank you in advance.View Thread
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