If you have taken a test and it shows clean, but you are still Googling symptoms, it's much more likely that it's "all in your head." The symptoms may be very real, but they could very easily be caused by your worry and anxiety. That is actually really common. We don't give out minds enough credit, they can do all kinds of things to our body if we have ourselves convinced that we are sick.
For example, a lymph node will swell when either exposed to a disease (even something like a cold virus) or expecting to be. Pain can be caused by tension and worry or simply holding your body in a stiff position. It goes on from there. I think you can easily see how you could create your own symptoms. I'm mentioning this because you've already tested and gotten a negative result.
I'm sorry you are going through so much worry. The only way to pass through this is to engage your mind instead of your emotions. That can be hard but it's possible.
It really helps to know more about HIV. As a virus, it is very weak and will die within seconds of leaving the body. It will NOT survive in dried blood.
Your mind and emotions have the ability to create all kinds of symptoms. If you allow yourself to be afraid of a disease, the very fact that you are worrying about it will either cause symptoms to appear or make you notice things that were already wrong with you a lot more than you otherwise would.
If you are still really scared of HIV, which is understandable, go to planned parenthood, a pharmacy, a doc in the box or whatever, and get yourself tested. Then trust the results. You don't have to remain a victim of your fear.View Thread
One thing that might help you is practicing progressive relaxation. Several times per day, take a little time to focus on your breath. Make it deep and even. Try to relax every muscle in your body. Try to do that for at least five minutes. If you can't, don't stress, just try again later. Some of this pain you are feeling may just be coming from being so tense. That happens to me a lot and meditation does help. As a bonus, it's much harder to have anxiety when you are breathing deeply and regularly. It's like holding a chicken's wings close to it's body - it's a hundred times harder for a chicken to be upset when it can't flap.View Thread
I hope you are still reading this forum, Scinto. Considering that you have tested for so many things, I think your symptoms are entirely consistent with anxiety. What people don't always understand is that your brain is an immensely power thing and can make you feel all kinds of symptoms especially if you are suffering from anxiety. Right now is a truly stressful time. You are transitioning into adulthood, leaving for college, and there is so much uncertainty. Also, all the information available about various dire and rare illnesses is almost guaranteed to feed into that anxiety.
Knowing that this is likelly "all in your head" isn't a cure, but it's a path to one. If you accept that it could be anxiety causing these symptoms, you open the door to getting back in control. A counselor might be helpful in teaching you coping skills to help yourself, I actually would reccommend this to anyone. Anxieties.com has some free quizzes and tools to help, the site is pretty good.
Wow, I can totally relate. I'm sorry you are having to go through this, and I hear and respect your frustration. I hope sharing my experience can help you a little.
I grew up with a father who is blind and a mother who is socially awkward. I don't say this to say "I have it worse than you," but just to give a little background. I grew up not knowing how to make eye contact, and I was very socially awkward. I know it hurt my hiring chances on a number of occasions.
My spouse has helped a lot with making me aware of these issues. It's been painful but I've made a lot of progress.
My point here is that social skills CAN be learned. It can be difficult to remind yourself at times but it can be done. You can practice making eye contact in a mirror or with a friend. You can practice standing taller and holding your head up high. Postitive affirmations and practicing self love can really help a lot with this. Reading articles on non verbal communication is a good way of making you aware of what you are doing or not doing. Also, just sitting and people watching, perhaps during lunch, is not only interesting but can teach you a lot. You can also do that with TV shows or movies at first. Just notice what other people do, and become aware of the difference between that and what you do.
I know it's a struggle, I know the fix isn't instant but it's really, really worth working on. I'll keep working on it over here and I hope you can too. The increased self confidence and better life is so important. Not only that, but other people will treat you better too - and that really helps you feel better. People will start putting more trust in you, be more cheerful, give you more respect, once you master nonverbal communication. It's like a magic trick! It really is! So I hope you do well with it. I truly wish you the best.View Thread
Beropa, I found an article indicating that uncontrollable humming can possibly be a sign of Tourette syndrome. Not a guarantee of course, but I'd guess something neurological if you can't hear it. Can you hear it if you record yourself?View Thread
The most improtant thing to keep in mind is this isn't about HIV. It's about the anxiety and OCD. Knowing that, you can practice the coping skills you've learned to treat those conditions. Anxieties.com is a good place to start, they have free information and advice. Also, look up Dr. Wilson's profile by clicking on his name, and read other responses he's given. He has some really great, usable, down to earth advice about anxiety and getting control over your thoughts.
You are definitely not alone. When you are tracking down a problem, it's good to look at causes, including ones you may have written off before. For example, some women develop Irritable Bowel Syndrome as they get older. I've developed something like it that happens cyclicly. Also, some people develop lactose intolerance as well.
Start by keeping a food and medication diary to see if you can figure out any patterns. It might help to try an elimination diet, where you eat only mild foods that you know soothe your stomach.
For myself, I find that eating potatoes, rice, or crackers helps dry me up. But the start of an elimination diet should be to see how you do without wheat gluten, as that's another common cause of diarrhea.
During this, it's good to practice meditation too, to help eliminate stress factors. It can be a lot of work to track something like this down but it's well worth it.