No, you are having a breakdown and from what you describe you need to see a Psychiatrist ASAP !!!
I know, I had a breakdown a few months ago and it was one of the scariest experiences I have ever had.
You need to call a Doctor today, I had 2 doctors and Dr. Farrell on this board to help me. It will not go away by itself, you need help and the proper medication to stop the loop you are going through. Knowing exactly how you feel, post back to us.
My Doctor saw me when I was breaking down, the sores, shaking so much, it was visible across the room, speech problems.
I have been housebound for almost a year, because every time I go out I get an infection. When I was covered from head to toe with bloody sores, the biopsy indicated that at that point it's the worse it can be. Staying home with my babies, doing breathing techniques has helped. However, every time I even start to get anxious I visibly shake and my speech is distorted.
I had been sick so long, I don't know what a reference it would be, I had absolutely no idea how much weight I was gaining. I call it the tunnel, it was disassociating as bad as it gets.
I had to renew my license, so we went and it was OK, we stopped for lunch, Beall's is right across the street. Rick said "let's go to Bealls so you can see all the new clothes". I only buy some flats and a bunch of flowered dresses for the summer. I was looking at the clothes and I got so dizzy, my knees were shaking so bad I could not walk.I had gotten another migraine (a migraine every day for 3 weeks). I was hanging onto the dress rack, praying I was not going to pass out. I started to go and everything went black, just then Rick grabbed me and literally carried me to the car. I was back to shaking like when I had the breakdown. My Doctor says I have a serious anxiety disorder and given I only have 30% kidney function, he's reluctant to give me any more medication. I am so scared, is my life over ? I'm a young woman.View Thread
I've been sharing for awhile about my entire body shaking uncontrolably, My hands are so bad my Doc put me on Inderal. As soon as it starts my speech becomes impaired.
I also realized for the first time that I have some type of disorder with the feedback in this world. When I took the step to work as hard as I could on my anxiety, I started to remember a HUGE PLETHORA of things that I had surpressed or I just disassociated for years of my life. Has anyone else had this type of problem ?
You know, I was sitting thinking the other day how I want the rest of my life to be. It is definitely not as it is now. My Psychiatrist told me on many occasions that I am the strongest woman he ever met. He did not believe anyone could withstand what I have gone through. That is why I have been so open on this forum, to warn people to take their meds. There has never been a day I missed.
My husband is a different person than the man I married, I guess living with a maniac will do that. Again, he controls all the money we have and he refuses to give me money. All the money is mine, from and insurance my father had, money my Mother gave me, my disability.
he is constantly looking over my shoulder if I'm on the computer, speaking on the phone, I just do not understand it, I have never looked at another man since we met.
Anyway, today we go do all the results from my bladder tests.View Thread
As I have mentioned in various posts, my husband and I both had Executive positions with the medical company Becton Dickinson or BD as many people call it. When you work at BD we don't have a training program in a class, we have to go and personally watch our products being used, even the OR. My husband received an offer for a very large promotion, since we both traveled so much we never saw each other. We decided to go for it.
I liked the idea of living in Florida, we first went to Miami, I loved it, my husband HATED IT. We ended up living in a beautiful little town, went from the 6000 sq. ft home to a 1500 sq ft 1920's cottage. We have a pool, which I really enjoy but I have absolutely no friends. I adore my husband but I am not happy. He makes all kinds of promises on getting our house finished but never follows through. I feel that living in such an awful environment is what has caused me to emotionally just let myself go.
I grew up in a very prosperous family, with absolutely everything I ever wanted. If my parents ever saw this place, they would die. He also has taken my car to work because he totaled his, so I'm stuck here 24/7. More and more often I think about a seperation. I own the house outright, also my car.
You asked me about the Hospital here:
I was in the ER with a raging UTI and a guy came in to take blood, all of a sudden I saw a huge spurt of blood hit the ceiling,all over me, all over the bed. I looked over and there was a hypodermic in my arm. I said, where are the vacutainers ? He had no idea what I was talking about.
They refused to let me take my psych meds by myself, I take a lot of drugs, most of which their pharmacy did not have. I was so manic I yanked the BP cuff off and threw it.
4 nurses could not insert the IV, so I did it.
I had surgery for a rare condition called apendigitis, where a piece of the intestine breaks off and starts to strangle the colon. The nurses refused to clean me or give me things to do it myself. I fell when I got up because they would not help me.
I had to go to the ER for food poisoning, the doctor never looked at me, touched me. She strolled to the entrance of the room and said I had food poisoning but she was too busy to help me and walked away. I looked at the paper and WAS ECSTATIC TO SEE MY KIDNEY FUNCTION WAS AT 70%, IT HAD NEVER GONE ABOVE 30% SINCE THE RENAL FAILURE FROM THE LITHIUM. I had an appointment with my Internist the next day, I handed him the paper and said LOOK. He just threw his head back and said, these are not your results, unless you grew a prostate.
Needless to say I will be going to MD Anderson from now on.
I see you are from NJ, My parents live in Franklin Lakes.View Thread
It's all discussions that have huge numbers of replies. The first thing I always do is go up and check the community but all that does is say I have a reply, no where to find it. I just do not have time to check 15 pages of replies. Most of the time I just give up.View Thread