if your therapist is experienced, they are probably well aware of your conflict avoidance and that you're nervous and pattern of returning to safe isolation. That's your defense against emotional pain and they would have learnt about it when studying to become a counsellor. They are also taught to be non-judgmental, suspending their personal judgments in order to best serve their client. The therapy room is your one place in the world to just be. It's a safe, non-judgmental place for you to drop your defenses and explore your cognition. Of course it takes time to feel comfortable to do this and if after 2 years you still have resistance to this then have a think about what is really going on for you. I'm sure that your therapist is more aware of all of this than you are but as a good therapist, they can't force you to talk and will allow you the freedom to take your time. They don't want to scare you away by forcing you to confront things about yourself until you're not ready to. Maybe by venting on this page, you are ready to, but you don't have the confidence to voice this to your therapist? Remember, you're paying them to help you, the therapy is always led by you. Good luck finding your voice and your confidence. Once you start working with her re your nerves and work through that, I bet you won't be able to stop talking!View Thread
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