I am 18 years old, I'm in my first semester of college, I have a part time job, & have a great family to support me. The only problem is... I have this anxiety I have struggled with my WHOLE entire life. & to be honest, I'm quite exhausted from it. This anxiety is Social Anxiety. I hate it! I have no friends, I feel like there's no hope for me to get married in the future, & I can't hold a conversation with anyone..well for long anyways. I feel like I'm dealing with this all by myself & no one understands.
Yes, my anxiety is a lot less serious that a lot of people with my same problem. I am at least able to speak up for myself at school & work. I participate well in class discussions & I am able to communicate well with my co-workers when doing my job. But, when it comes to making friends, & maintaining some sort of social life... I SUCK. I don't know how to make friends. & I am constantly stressed & depressed about it. I always worry about how people perceive me. Am I boring? weird? annoying? lame? It makes me freak out inside to no end. Some people say this is normal & everyone deals with the same social issues. Yes, that's true... but not this extreme. Sometimes I have panic attacks. I just wish I could flip a switch & not have this issue anymore.
For the past 2 weeks, my depression from this has worsened. First, I think too much about everything regardless if I have something in front of me to busy my mind. Then, I get angry at myself, "WHY can't you just make one friend?! WHY is it so difficult?!." & After that, I get all emotional & cry about it. I feel like I'm crazy or something. I promise I'm not. I just can't kick this fear I have & lack of social skills.
Thank you so much for replying. I really appreciate it. I think you're exactly right about joining some kind of group or club. I just wish there was someway to knock of the edge. I always get all stressed out when socializing when it doesn't involve school or work. My mind goes a million miles an hour. For an example I think, "Am I saying the right things? Is what I'm talking about even interesting to this person? They definitely think I'm boring. What should I talk about next?" On the outside I keep composure but on the inside I just wanna cry out of frustration. & yes I can make friends/aquaintances but when hanging out with a person one-on-one my mind goes blank on things to talk about. Maybe I think about it wayyy too much. But it's something I can't control.
Also, where can I buy your book? I'm interested in reading it.View Thread
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