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I feel your worries about your anxiety. I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in Aug. 2011. I just turned 37, I'm also married with a now 9 year old son. I also owned a Bridal Shop in our small town and a Custom Sewing & Alterations Business. I was working 70-80 hours a week, 7 days a week. Being the only Bridal Shop in over a 40 mile radious and a very saught after seamstress/ Fashion Designer, I had alot of deadlines and alot of people to please and weddings going on that had to be finished. In August 2011, I was at the peak of Wedding season, then I found out I was Stage III, it was in both Breasts and had already spread to my lymph nodes.
I have always worked best under stressfull situations except this time. I ended up in the ER half a dozen times with accute Anxiety Attacks. I didn't understand what was happening to me, I've never felt like this before. I even asked the ER Dr's "why would I have Anxiety?" Duh Heather, You have Breast Cancer and it has to be taken care of immenately. I told my Breast Surgeon that my Double Mastectomy would have to wait until after 9/10/11, I had 12 Weddings that day! I was scheduled for surgery 9/19/2011. They wanted to put my on some crazy tranquilizers which caused more anxiety because I was unable to function and get all my work done before surgery. They finally put me on Xanax, which I would only take .5mg if I felt an attack coming on. I also figured this would go away once I got through the Breast Cancer. Well, that's not the case. It has gotten worse for me especially after each surgery. I still only take Xanax. But for me, I have brought God back into my life and started learning that I have no control over the situations in my life, just whith how I decide to deal with them. I have always been a bit of a control freak, a bit OCD & ADD too. Our Family had structure and I ran 2 businesses very successfully. I just closed my Bridal Shop this last August. I am now working from home as I am able. I have learned to give all my worries to God and let him deal with them since he is the one in absolute control. I found a book written by John Macarthur
called "Anxiety for Nothing". Even if your not a religious person, it's an awesome book for those with Anxiety and Worries, it really made everything clear for me. I have also been going to acupuncture weekly for the last 4 months and went back to doing Yoga with my stretching and strength building. I have been getting so much better and feel less stress in my life even though I just found out about more health issues 2 weeks ago and will never work again. I am not completely anxiety free, but I can at least leave my house now without anxiety or at least it isn't diabilitating anymore.
I hope and will pray for you to find peace in your mind. And remember, you are never alone with this. There are many of us out there and care about what others are going through.
I wish you the Best!
In Christ,
~HeatherView Thread
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