I have been on a new job for a week now. The first few days were ok until Thursday when my manager informed me they are going to put more project work on me. I come from an IT role in a hospital where I was for 7 years, very comfortable and come and go as I please but there were no raises, bonuses or promotions. I had to make a move because I had to have more income, I have a single income home and my wife is a stay at home mom with our two sons.
I'm having an incredibly hard time adjusting, I feel very unequipped for this role and feel like I want to just run away and never go back. I took an IT project manager role with the Government and I realized on the first day that I'm the only project manager for the entire county. That thought creates so much angst in me, I have already found out that I have minimal support in this role. I have already had a severe panic attack on the way to work last Friday, it hit me on the interstate and I couldn't breathe. I had to pull over and vomit, then I went in to work but had to leave after an hour. I simply coudn't function. My wife urged me to come home and lie down and I did.
The thing now is I've been obsessing over the things that could go wrong, I've done it all weekend and in doing so have neglected time with my family, especially my toddler son that want's daddy to play. This is killing me. I'm going to have a talk with my manager in the morning and depending on the outcome of that I'll decide what to do next. I feel I've let my family down as this is a great opportunity and it's what I went to school for. I feel like now I made a huge mistake in wanting to do this as a vocation or going to school for it. I feel like a fool.
My wife is concerned that if I don't get a grip soon I'll be going to the hospital for a nervous breakdown. My mind won't stop thinking about things, I have herbal supplements to help relax me and help me sleep (speaking of which, the first week on the new job I averaged about 2-3 hours total a night) and that isn't helping either.
I'm in bad shape here and I need some serious help, the thought of talking to my manager about this is causing the most intense emotions. I fear they'll question whether or not they hired the right person. Either way I don't look forward to tomorrow morning. I miss the comfort of my old job and the freedom I had. Trying to adjust to a new schedule, new role, new people and personalities and the further drive, is all too much. I am completely overwhelmed and about ready to throw in the towel and go sell cars or insurance instead.
If anyone has been here and can offer words of wisdom and encouragment then please do. My families livelihood and my sanity are in jeopardy.View Thread