I've never done this before. I have a hard time expressing my issues. I seem to have to erase and start over many many times. Here goes. I have had anxiety and panic since I was born from what my mom says. I am now 38 years old and feel like ive put myself in a posiiton that i will never be able to change. I moved 900 miles away from my family to live in a small town with a man that I have a son with. We have been together on and off for 15 years. I dont think he understands the magnitude of my anxiety. He thinks that Im the way I am because I dont try hard enough. Maybe thats true but I dont even know what I'm supposed to try. I battle anxiety and extreme physical discomfort on a daily basis. I cry everyday and I feel like I cant do anything without being in emotional pain. I've taken antidepressants, all different kinds, and anti anxiety medication but I cant function while taking those either. So it feels like I have 2 choices and not very good ones at that; Be miserable and depend on this man to take care of me for the rest of my life or to be numb and have this man take care of me for the rest of my life. Its so hard for me to organize in my head all the steps I need to take to accomplish the things that people do everyday like going to the doctor or the grocery store. I have no car, no job, no friends in this town. I dont trust people because they have always looked at me like I'm a weirdo. I hate being this negative depressing person. I'm miserable. Is it my fault? Have I just done this to myself? I sure blame myself. Anyway I'm done whining. I just need help.View Thread
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