I was recently researching some information about the medication I am on (Wellbutrin and Klonopin) and came across an article on depersonalization. I was shocked to read that this was considered a disorder? I have felt this way for many years but it never occurred to me to be scary, just a weird sensation that comes and goes.
The feeling is like... my body is a vehicle and my self is separate. Sometimes the feeling is like "why doesn't my vehicle work right?" or looking in the mirror and thinking "oh, this is the vehicle I'm driving..." It is a separation of self and physical self and actions my physical self might take. Sometimes I wonder why my self is in this vehicle and not another. Do other vehicles have selfs that are feeling these same things. Self and physical self do not function on the same level/same world. Its SO difficult to describe.... but it is a very strange sensation, point of view, that comes over me for a short time every once and a while.
No, that is exactly how I feel too. I just never realized that not -everyone- feels those feelings. I thought that everyone felt that way. I only take Klonopin as needed so I wonder if its just an effect of depression/anxiety or if its the medication?View Thread
I feel so angry after this weekend about the the doctor and pharmacists that told me different information. The doctor I see, told me to switch off of Paxil (which I had no side effects on) and change directly to Anafranil. Cold turkey. The pharmacist disagreed and said to take half of a Paxil for a while and start taking the Anafranil instead of going cold turkey. Friday night I got horribly sick, and the next day checked in with the pharmacist and she said to keep taking it and that I probably just got a stomach bug. Took the new medication again... and Saturday night got sick again, and spent all of Sunday on the couch shaking, fever, feeling nauseas, sweating, heart racing.... Sunday night I took 1/2 a Paxil thinking it was withdrawls, and 1 of the new medication and still yesterday morning woke up shaking and trying to puke.
Yesterday morning I called a different pharmacist and he said I absolutely should not have been taking those two together and that I should have been weaned off the Paxil plus a few weeks of taking nothing before trying a medication from that family of antidepressants. He said using them together can cause serotonin syndrome (a bad reaction between those two drugs, which causes all of those symptoms too). So ... I'm not really sure if it was all caused by missing two and a half doses of Paxil (which I'm only taking 10 mg of right now... so they said withdrawl wouldn't be that bad if any)... or if it was combining the two drugs that made me sick... but yesterday afternoon I took 1 Paxil and 0 Anafranil and I feel fine again... What a waste of a weekend! Now that I'm researching it, all of these websites say "warn your doctor if you have taken an SSRI in the last five weeks before taking clomipramine!" I did warn them... and they said it would be just fine
Is this true? Did I have serotonin syndrome or did I just have withdrawls?View Thread
For the last 6-7 months I have had anxiety problems and about a month ago I finally convinced myself to go talk to my doctor about it. My doctor put me on Zoloft (which after three weeks I stopped taking, it made me aggressive which is NOT my personality)... and then later on Paxil.... and encouraged me to seek counseling too.
My first counseling experience was HORRIBLE. I left sobbing and feeling horrible about myself. This man basically sat there, asked me questions about my life, and within 15 minutes told me that all of the choices I am making in my life are horrible, my boyfriends a creep, I'll never get a job where I'm moving... etc.. It was the worst experience because then, after making me feel so small and stupid, he expected me to open up to him and talk about the anxiety!!!
Just yesterday I went to see a different counselor at a different place. It was a great experience. He expressed that he thinks the anxiety is related to depression and that both things need to be dealt with. I trusted him a lot. When I was a freshman in high school (I am now 24) I felt very depressed and would cut myself. I remember feeling the same intense anxiety during that time period... and that was probably my way of dealing with a feeling that I didn't understand.
It was so strange to talk about this part of my life with the therapist because I have honestly never talked about this previous anxiety/depression/cutting. After that time period, I blocked it out completely... and would often think that maybe it was a dream that I felt that bad.. except for I have the scars that would remind me it was true. It occurred for about 8 months and my mother confronted me about it (yelled at me, saying I was making her look like a bad mother, I was ungrateful, selfish... threatened to take me to counseling... this is why ive never gone before because I viewed it as a punishment) I remember the horrible feelings DURING that time period ....but when the therapist asks about how I felt AFTER my mom confronted me... I don't remember. I have nothing to say. I don't know how I quit cutting, if it was THAT day? Everything from that day on is blank related to that topic.
What happened? Is that weird that I don't remember? Did I block that out? Is it weird to quit all at once after that? Did I just stuff everything back inside of me instead of continuing to express it outwardly (by cutting). IM SO CONFUSED! I've never really thought these feelings out before... but this counseling is really trying to get me to think about where the anxiety and depression comes from... what the root is.. and im running into a road block.View Thread
I'm sitting here frustrated... wondering if I should look into using one of my free counseling sessions that my insurance offers...
I feel like I'm on a roller coaster. For one or two weeks I'll be fine... and then I will randomly experience a few days of absolute stress and anxiety for no reason at all. I start clenching my jaw (which gives me headaches) and I start worrying and freaking out about every possible thing. My chest feels tight and I physically feel drained and on edge. I know I shouldn't be feeling this way and I should be thinking positively but I just physically can't stop feeling this way. I feel like I shut down and just become numb and lost. I try to just go to sleep or something to not think about being stressed and it drives my boyfriend nuts because he wants to try to talk to me about what I'm feeling anxious about. I never know what to say though.
I've been feeling like this for the last year and I guess I had never noticed it before then. I feel like it hits me and knocks me off my feet though before I even get a chance to manage it. Today I kept saying to myself... don't stress... don't freak out... chill... there is nothing different about today than yesterday... but I still feel horrible. When I was younger (middle school) I had some issues with depression self-worth (never being good enough, never satisfied) so I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it either... but I feel like I just panic and can't think of anything but horrible things that MIGHT maybe possibly happen. I feel like my brain actively searches for possible horrible things to think about and worry about.
Once I come out of these.... every time i swear it will never happen again because I'll be able to manage it... but it just never works. What do I do? I am constantly looking forward and never satisfied with today... things will always get better in the future.... Normally I'm a pretty happy easy going person but then this hits me and I'm lost.View Thread