Interesting, Tammy. I don't have time for full details right now, but yes, my 13 year old Aspie son, every time he flies into a rage, which is often, his pupils dilate instantly. It's kind of creepy. He balls his hands into fists, and I have to grab and hold his hands, speak to him calmly and firmly, and then the dilation goes away when he calms down.View Thread
My now 11 year old son has been a "difficult child" since the day he was born. A friend at work recently suggested to me that he may have Aspergers, so I've been researching, and he deifinitely has some of those characteristics. At this point, his behavior is causing some very disturbing chaos in our home that is affecting everyone.
About Jesse. He is moody, frequently withdrawn, self-centered, self-absorbed, lacks empathy, almost every word that comes out of his mouth is a lie, or for the explicit purpose of furthering his desires. He seems to care for no one but himself, but at the same time, he struggles with it. It's like he knows his attitude isn't quite right, but lacks the ability to change it.
He will not look directly into your eyes when speaking, he speaks in monotones, or when he's feeling happy, he speaks as an old Englishman with a very fancy vocabulary. He is a brilliant, gifted child academically, but socailly, he is very inept.
Jesse obssesses with different subjects about once every 2-3 years. It used to be insects, mainly wasps. He is truly an expert.
He obssessed over a girl at school last year, his first crush, and came away devastated when she rejected him.
Now, his obssession is Legos. I recently took the Legos away from him as punishment, and you would think his whole world is coming to an end. He has talked of killing himself, and has threatened me. It's not normal.
This isn't the first time he's talked about suicide (that is regularly declared whenever he gets into trouble and is disciplined/punished), but it is the first time he has threatened me, and he made good on that threat, and now he is struggling with remorse and guilt because as usual, he doesn't understand the natural law of consequences.
Jesse called his father and told him my fiancee' was beating him, and that I threw away his Legos. Both lies. There's not a person in Jesse's life from his teachers to classmates to my friends and family, including his father, who doesn't know that Jesse would rather lie than tell the truth, even when caught red-handed, but his lie is causing some serious issues between his father and I, and it is threatening the peace of my household.
Jesse is now greatly distressed, but instead of understanding that his lie caused this situation to arise, he's gone from blaming me for taking away the Legos to blaming his father for over-reacting, and now he won't speak to his father.
Jesse doesn't sleep well, and he doesn't eat well. He constantly has dark circles under his eyes. I've noticed lately that when he gets anxious he will tap his fingers together.
We have no family history of Autism in any form, but Jesse sure seems to fit Aspergers in many ways.
My mother was chronically depressed and took meds her whole life, and I also have a nephew who was placed on many different anti-depressants as a teenager, but didn't really resolve his problems and start leading a normal life until he was put on Lithium.
I don't really know what to do. I don't want to end up in a situation with Jesse where he is labeled and stigmatized, and ends up being medicated with God knows what, but the flip side is, we can't continue like this. It's destroying my household.
Any advice on what to look for in a counselor, what to avoid, what to do, will be greatly appreciated.
Thank you so much for your response. I've been speaking with people on another Aspie forum that is very active. There are adult Aspies and parents of children with AS. It has been helping tremendously.
Other people included in that spectrum in my family would be me. I had no clue because of the way my childhood developed. I won't go into details here, because I have spent so much time and energy posting every little detail on the other forum, and I am receiving excellent support and advice from those folks. They are absolute lifesavers.
Our family has already begun modfying interactions with Jesse, and we're working on dietary habits as well.
Jesse is scheduled on 10/8 for the first of a four part evaluation with a private Psychologist who specializes in Autism/Aspergers/ ASD. She will also be going to his school to interview his teacher. I am paying for this out of my own pocket, and prefer it this way.
Since I found the other forum, I won't be posting here anymore, but I did want to thank you and let you know that we are already making progress with Jess....View Thread