My husband was diagnosed with Aspergers before he hit puberty. I've spent years walking on egg shells that were specifically put on the ground for me. If I break one of those methodically placed eggshells, I am hit, kicked, belittled, coerced into having unwanted sex and am made to feel worthless. These eggshells break about every 6-8 hours in my household.
I was on my way out of this living hell when I found I was pregnant. WHAM! Fast forward to almost two years later, now I am 98% positive my 19 month old son has Aspergers as well (VERY self destructive, flips on a dime, inconsolable) and I'm feeling like a rusted bolt supporting the weight of a teeter-totter.
I've had depression since I was a little girl and have always had some kinks that needed to be worked out. Now I can't focus on myself anymore and have dwindled down to an emotional, exhausted (even when I'm not doing anything at all), bitter and jaded woman.
'Just get out!' is always the advice given. I'm sorry - if it were that easy I would have been gone years ago. I can't even leave the house without my husband running after my car, punching the windows and demanding I give him the keys. (He doesn't even know how to drive which is another plus side of living with someone with Aspergers. You do essentially EVERYTHING.) How the hell am I supposed to get away from all of this? Never mind having to file for divorce, selling the house and everything inside of it first, finding new homes for the animals we've adopted and having to explain to my son that I left daddy - What about the crazy tornado of bullcrap that will come with it? This is the kind of man who posted private pictures of me on the website 4chan and my facebook when I tried to get away from him BEFORE marriage and conceiving a child.
Being married to someone with Aspergers is like playing Russian roulette, only every chamber is loaded.
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