My WebMD Sign In

Please enter email address

Enter your password

Keep me signed in on this computer

Show more Information

If you select "Keep me signed in on this computer", every time you visit WebMD.com you won't have to type your email address and password. This means that a cookie will stay on your computer even when you exit or close your browser which may reduce your levels of privacy and security. You should never select this option if you're using a publicly accessible computer, or if you're sharing a computer with others. Even if you select this option there are some features of our site that still require you to log in for privacy reasons.

Forget your password? Having trouble signing in?

Why should I
sign up for WebMD?

With a WebMD Account you can:

Track your way to weight loss success
Manage your family's vaccinations
Join the conversation

See more benefits Sign Up

Why WebMD?

My WebMD

Show Menu

Facebook Twitter Pinterest

WebMD Home

Autism Support Community

Whether you have received the diagnosis or in pursuit of one, get support and ... more

Reply: ADVISE ON HOW TO LIVE WITH HUSBAND WITH ASPERGER'S...

I cannot thank all of you enough for your insightful comments. I feel connected to all of...

Posted by treetops1

I cannot thank all of you enough for your insightful comments. I feel connected to all of you. I just ordered both books mentioned by two of you. I own a large insurance agency so my story is quite different. Everyday I get up at 4:30 to make my Aspie fresh squeezed juice with carrot, beet, lemon, ginger, spinach and apple. I make him breakfast and lunch and take it to his office next store. He complained for days in a row that the juice has foam on top. An NT person would just drink it or spoon off the foam. I started skimming off his foam and this made him so happy. I could write a book on all his food things that he does not like. One night we went to an expensive takeout and brought back this amazing ravioli with fabulous sauce. He becomes crazy if any food had sauce on it. He went in the bathroom and washed all the raviolis off in the sink. He is a vegetarian as he constantly says he does not like to hurt animals but he hurts me constantly.

I always stop him by using the terms demeaning and dishonoring. The shadow comes across him and he starts with his mean assault. He never can talk in person and likes to text for hours. I have literally had discussions with him from 8:00 in the evening until 3:30 in the morning. He hurls grenades: He is a lone wolf etc but then questions me constantly am I attracted to him, am I in love with him etc.

So why would and incredibly successful woman stay with him? Every single letter above I understand so much. I feel so connected to all of you and I understand all of you. Woman have such a capacity for nurturing and loving.

There are times that my Aspie feels a sense of self-worth and comfort in my nurturing of always bringing him food to eat. His radiance is so beautiful. He is so, so, so intelligent and loves when I compliment him on his vocabulary and intellect.

When the shadow comes across him. His recent statement when the shadow passed was, "I'm always fair to people (and animals). The reason I'm dark and brooding is because that's what the universe calls for. It has been extremely hard on his sensory since I discovered that he has Aspergers. His constant retort is that there is nothing wrong with him. I always reassure him and say "Yes my love there is nothing wrong with you and I love you more than the moon and the stars."

After reading so much about Aspergers I will not never live with him or marry him. Putting him on "time-out" works the best. He had terrible behavior last night and I shall not cook for him for a few days. His usual pattern is he comes ambling over to return some item.

Even when I pick up his dishes at night and if I feel like hugging him I always have to tell him, "Take a deep breath I am going to hug you now."

Last night we were listening to a jazz piece he likes. I massaged his shoulders a little and he totally flipped out saying that I did not understand the level he is on when he listens to jazz and that I could never understand what he experiences when he listens to jazz and that it was inappropriate to rub his shoulders when listening to music. I reminded him that couples listen to music and love each other. Too much sensory and he left extremely upset with the follow up of his nasty grenade hurling texts.

It is always the same pattern. You absolutely cannot fight with an Aspie. They are always right. One has to withdraw and let them do whatever it is with their thought process.

My father and brother had acute cases of Aspergers and both had wives who were devoted to them. Both of them had the pronounced tic with their lips. Both had terrible fits of meaness. I would do anything if I had known when I was growing up. I feel it is a gift from God to know this man. It validates my childhood and helps with my "anxious pleaser syndrome." All of you above after being around Aspie relatives become victims of them and all of you have "anxious pleaser syndrome. Thank you so kindly.View Thread

Posted bytreetops1

31 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:ADVISE ON HOW TO LIVE WITH HUSBAND WITH ASPERGER'S SYNDROME I cannot thank all of you enough for your insightful comments. I feel connected to all of...

Women's Health Newsletter

Find out what women really need.

Other Member Communities

Dieting Club: 10 - 25 Lbs Member Community Share Your Tips and Support!
Caregiving Member Community The Support and Understanding You Need!
Parenting Friends Talking Member Community Get Support from Members Like You!

The opinions expressed in WebMD User-generated content areas like communities, reviews, ratings, or blogs are solely those of the User, who may or may not have medical or scientific training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of WebMD. User-generated content areas are not reviewed by a WebMD physician or any member of the WebMD editorial staff for accuracy, balance, objectivity, or any other reason except for compliance with our Terms and Conditions. Some of these opinions may contain information about treatments or uses of drug products that have not been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. WebMD does not endorse any specific product, service, or treatment.

Do not consider WebMD User-generated content as medical advice. Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice from your doctor or other qualified healthcare provider because of something you have read on WebMD. You should always speak with your doctor before you start, stop, or change any prescribed part of your care plan or treatment. WebMD understands that reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment from a qualified health care provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or dial 911 immediately.