I've been married 21 years and always felt something was wrong. It has taken a couple of years, but now I know my husband has Aspergers syndrome. It has been an interesting journey finding out.
I don't know how anyone can live like this and be happy. He has no empathy and is very self-centered and unable to understand what it means to be in a relationship. It has ruined my life. I agree with people that say get out. It won't be easy but it feels like death continuing on hear. I literally live on the lower level of our home, drive the junkier car, have less money, work 3 jobs, spend less, wait around, have the drawers on the bottom of the dresser; I've allowed him to treat me like a second class citizen.
He won't share his paycheck and no matter how much I explain that it is household income he cannot comprehend it. Occasionally he puts a twenty dollar bill on my dresser (like today) because I got upset that he ate out 3 times this weekend and basically spend the income I made on job #3. I am 57 and trying to catch up on my retirement savings and he literally eats all the profits. He is rather large and buys only groceries he likes and gladly gobbles up what I buy with my own money to fix for myself!!
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