I too am a Mother of two boys, ages 15 & 16. Both of my sons, were adopted at birth. They have the same birth mom but different dads. I have also known that my sons were different, but mostly my older one. Because I was so consumed with my oldest son, and his issues/diagnoses: ADD, Intermitten Explosive Disorder, Anxiety, and recently Bi-Polar.. I missed my youngest son having so many of the signs. My youngest son had many of the symptoms of high-functioning autism, but since I didn't know anything about autism, and non of his doctors, psychiatrist, or school ever noticed anything relating to autism.
My youngest son did "Mentally shut down with school," reasons being, he was in 6TH grade, which was totally overwhelming for him: and he told me so later after I withdrew him from school, because he really did shut down while in the nurses office. He told me that I didn't understand what it was like to go to such a big school, and have so many different teachers, and he was bullied by his so called best friend. I tried to home school him, and at first he did good, as long as I sat with him through out the whoe process. I also took him to counselors, and they didn't see it.. They even had me send him to acute hospitals, and then 6-8 weeks at residential treatment facilities. It was at his last Residential treatment center where he was labeled High-Functioning Autistic. I still wasn't sure why, until I talked to another mother, and started looking on line. When I came across this website that bell went off in my head. My son is Autistic, and the last thing he needs is to be sent off to another place (which my Ex thinks he definitely needs in order to make it in this world). I haven't shared with my Ex about him being autistic, and I'm not sure what he will say, but as his Mom, I have known something was different for so long with both of my sons, and I feel like for the first time I have an answer!! I am not sure where to go from here, as they are both home, and I am attempting to home school the oldest one: but the youngest one still refuses. Where do I start when they are both teenagers dealing with High-functioning Autism? Who do I turn to to have them tested?? And where can I go to get help for the both of them?? While at school, they did all kinds of test, and they never came up with anything much less Autistic. It really helps to know that I am not alone... THANKS to all you other Mothers who have posted.. Please continue, as we can all help each other.View Thread
OMG, you sound like me 9 years ago when my Ex walked out on me and our two adopted sons, ages 4 & 5. My oldest son would have major meltdowns and get physical. They labeled him "Intermitten Explosive Disorder" which means that he would blow up over something (You had no idea why). I could tell him to turn off the TV with many warnings, then I had to do it and he would literally lose it. I would have to hold him down in a body lock until he was exhausted. You can only imagine what my younger son was thinking/feeling. All three of us were in counseling, and I took the boys to a Child Psychiatrist, and they have been going there for the past 10 years. They are diagnosed with ADHD, Bi-polar, anxiety, and now probably High-Functioning Autism. They are currently 15 & 16. My ex is of no help. He was in and out of their lives when it was convenient for him. He is very judgemental and narcissistic (which I didn't realize until he left). He and I have been through counseling for the boy's sake, but I refuse to anymore as he will not take any responsibility for anything. The boys refuse to see him, and he can't understand why. Duh... I am in the middle of a lawsuit, which he started when he remarried 2 years ago, which makes no sense.. This has brought more pain and anxiety to our boys. My advice to you would be to find a good Psychiatrist, and get your son evaluated. Then get a good counselor and start taking him to him/her. and you both have some sessions together, to improve yalls relationship. Then hire a lawyer and ask that the court put an injunction against your ex until he starts to act like a Father, and has something to add to help, instead of tearing you and your son down. In trying to get back at you, he is hurting your son and doing more damage than he realizes. With the help of the psychiatrist, and counselor, you should have enough professional opinions to help you make a case against your Ex. I hate to say have his rights taken away, but the courts can make him take parenting classes, and seek help himself if he is causing distress to your son. I will pray for you as you have a rough road ahead, but as a MOM, we will do anything for our children, and you have to stay strong, tell your son how much you love him and show him each and every minute you can.. make special memories of the two of you, and never say anything negative about your Ex to your son. (if you do, it will come back to bite you in the ____). as it will with your ex saying things to your son about you. The child will defend the person who is being attacked not that we want our children to be placed in this position. When they are 5 years old, all we want for them is for them to enjoy their childhood and experience wonderful positive things. God Bless You and Hang in there. Prayer is a powerful thing, and the more people you have praying for you the better it is.. so ask your church to place you on prayer list, and get on any other prayer list you can. I hope this helps. Know that you are not alone! Love to hear back from you.View Thread