Back and Neck Pain Exchange
What are the best treatments for back and neck pain? Who are the best doctors? ... more
. My sister is a Physical Therapist and she said she is glad that I at least have an insanely high pain tolerance, bc most of her patients in the same condition as me are using wheelchairs a majority of the time. I have the same thought process as you, that if I keep pressing on as though things are normal, I will eventually get stronger, even though all medical evidence suggests otherwise, and I know I am doing my body a disservice by doing this. I can't seem to find a happy medium; it's all or nothing with me. I'm either sitting in my zero gravity chair the entire day while the boys are at school, or I am struggling to go, go, go all day even though the pain increases ten fold, and my leg is numb, yet still agonizingly painful. My husband gave me the greatest compliment the other night, he said he was so proud of the way I have handled the situation, the way I keep fighting for my happiness, and fighting to give as much normalcy to the boys as possible, even though he knows how extremely difficult it is for me. I have so many days of utter frustration, and defeat, but I have not once felt sorry for myself, I only feel guilt and sadness for the life I could once give my husband, and my boys. My 8 year old is such an old soul, and he understands way too much at his young age, and that makes me so sad. He is always quick to take care of me, or my youngest son bc he knows mommy's back hurts, and he doesn't want to put any additional stress on me, and that kills me! I feel like you; I'm the mom, I am the one that is supposed to take care of them and shoulder the worry and responsibility. I need to let go of my "old life", and try to get a grip on this new normal, but I'm finding that very difficult. I also have to learn to ask for help when I need it. My husband basically does everything, and I would love to give him a break, so sometimes I will just do the housework, even though I know I will pay for it the next 2 days, and that makes him so angry. He really is the most selfless human being I have ever met, and I am so grateful to have him by my side, but it makes my guilt so much worse bc I do love him so much, and care about his well being so much as well. A double edged sword I suppose, lol! I also just spoke with my doctor about the spinal cord stimulator, and if this injection doesn't help (which it hasn't yet!), we are seriously considering going forward with that plan. I don't really like that option either, especially bc MRI's are out of the question after that, but honestly even if my bulging disk has herniated, I will never have another spinal surgery again. I like you, just want to be as pain free as possible, 2 years with constant pain is very tiresome! Let me know if you have any info on the stimulator, and I hope to hear back from you soon! 
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