Went to the doctors today to update my back condition- it has gotten so much worse it is difficult to walk- which scares me. The MRI doesn't show a disc (no surgery needed) so I was sent back home with no follow up appointment- nothing. I'm so frustrated with the backwoods mentality of the medical community here in Maine. It seems if its not some condition they can cut you open to fix- there's nothing wrong with you. If an MRI doesn't show a disc there's nothing wrong. He did say he believed I had pain- there's just nothing he can do. It's so frustrating- they say I have " failed " back syndrome from the surgery... and basically want me to live with it no matter how bad it gets. (I'm allergic to narcotic pain meds so no real relief) I say fix the "failure" you created in the surgery. Its just one of those days that I'm not dealing with all of this very well. I'm exhausted and tired of the pain. It is good to be able to come vent here- I have no one to talk with about this that truly understands living in chronic pain.View Thread
I find that when I go to a new Dr I get my hopes up that they will find "something" and be able to correct the problem to end this misery.
That last trip to the new Dr sent me reeling back thru the emotional cycles of being angry, rebellious (I rebel against the "disability" - doing things I use to be able to do, like walk thru the mall but no longer can just to see if I can do them or not, then end up on bedrest for days) then I end up feeling so hopeless and then depressed. It took a few weeks but I'm back in a place of acceptance, "accepting" this pain and managing it. I'm sharing my story of these emotional cycles because perhaps it will help someone else who has experienced the same emotional cycles.
I'm so grateful for this forum because I'm not sure I would of ever shared this info with anyone otherwise, I find it difficult to talk about my pain, disability and emotions... sometimes just writing it down sharing it -really helps. Thank you all for your concerns, tips and advice.View Thread
WOUND-OLOGY it's been said that talking over and over again about our wounds or pain can actually make our experience of the the pain worse. (this does not mean it's all in you head) Dr Caroline Myss first used this term- woundology. It doesn't matter if it's emotional or physical pain that we keep talking about... it ( our pain) gets permanently imprinted in the subconscious mind and will replay it over and over again like an old video tape. It can cause PTSD like symptoms cycling through different emotional stages.
I also hesitate to use the word PAIN too often--- and I use the word DISCOMFORT instead. The mind already has a pre-conceived belief about what "pain" is- it's awful, it hurts etc. So try using the word "discomfort" keep a monthly chart and rate your levels of discomfort each day from 1-10 - never using the word pain. It shifts the subconscious mind into a different "mode". You may find that your ratings each day are less than before. The mind is an amazing tool to help you manage pain. Try it for a month- you may be amazed at the outcome.View Thread
I'm so sorry that you are still in pain after the surgery. Actually it's common- and referred to as failed back syndrome (post surgical) I also have pain after surgery for a L4-5 disc surgery in 2009. I'm allergic to narcotics so never did the strong pain med stuff. I do use the lidocaine- patches and gabapentin for the nerve pain in my leg. You have to find what works for you- manage the pain and most of all "accept" what has happened instead of fighting it. I found going to a pain clinic- pain management classes and counseling helped me accept what had happened to me. Don't be afraid to try different modalities- combine holistic approaches with traditional medicine- use whatever works for YOU.View Thread
Happy Friday the 13th to you too! I have always considered it to be a lucky day for me. I was born on a Friday the 13th ( my mom actually had a near death experience with my birth- I was born breach with the cord around my neck, so I also died and was resuscitated ) and my oldest son was born on a Friday the 13th! Which makes it a glorious day!
So Friday the 13th has always been my "It's glorious to be alive day". We all need these days in our lives... a time that we set aside our life's crisis, the pain, emotions, depression and anger at our current circumstances ... and just take a deep breath, relax and bask in the true meaning of life. It may be in that moment that you have a glimpse of the true meaning and purpose of the life circumstance you find yourself in-
Enjoy your day, your moment in time. God Bless.View Thread
You brought a smile to my face when I read about the therapist saying why are you depressed? Mine did the same thing. I would like them to live a week with the pain and then have them ask that question.View Thread
Thank you for your post. You are one of the first I've seen on this site that advocates both traditional and alternative medicine. Kudos to you! I too use alternative mind-body techniques to help manage back pain. I would like to add medical hypnosis to your list- if hypnosis works in natural child birthing for pain control it can be used to help manage any pain. Don't let the word "hypnosis" scare you away- most major hospitals have mind body specialist in their behavioral science depts. that are trained in hypnosis. Its worth seeking info on.View Thread
I may be able to help with this one- The body responds to pain and especially chronic pain as a TRAUMATIC EVENT. It's held in the subconscious mind- in memory. Therefore pain trauma "cycles" much like any PTSD trauma does. It can cause insomnia, nightmares, depression, anxiety symptoms etc. I find myself going through the cycles of emotional change denial, anger, grief ( loss of my old life) as well as the PTSD trauma cycle. I developed anxiety and panic attacks that are pain based- usually a trigger is when I think I'm going to be in pain that I can't endure. I think that the nightmares are actually "normal" for people living in pain and may actually be a way of your subconscious mind releasing pent up emotions and anxiety in the role-playing in the dream.View Thread
I"m 57 and my life changed 5 years ago with this back pain. Seeing a therapist that specialized in chronic pain helped me manage the emotional turmoil, anxiety and depression better. For me understanding my injury and accepting my life as it is now- helps. I try to take 1 day at a time and assess what I can do that day and not focus on my past life and what I can't do any longer. Finding a new purpose in life is important- it's writing for me. Don't expect it to be the type of purpose from your past pre-injury life. Everyone is an individual, our pain is our own and we handle it in our own way. Find your own way and what works for you personally. I find alternative medicine helps me immensely (I'm allergic to narcotics so don't take pain meds) especially photo-therapy red light therapy, pool therapy, bio-feedback and reiki. When medical doctors laughed at my choices in alternative care - I fired their ass and "schooled them" on why it was my choice not there's. One day at a time... and I can do it. My favorite saying is from the Gone with the wind movie- Scarlett O'Hara says at the end of the movie "Tomorrow's another day" and so I know that tomorrow may be a better day for me... one day at a time is what works for me. May god bless you ~ CarolView Thread