Hey everyone Im the person who originally posted this topic in this community. So heres an update, We have...
Posted by Anon_232481
Hey everyone Im the person who originally posted this topic in this community. So heres an update, We have moved on from the city where his mother lives. Bf recently got a job the pay was ok and he was doing very well according to his managers and trainers. Bf recently quit that job because of issues with depression. He told me this was because of his mother and other issues. I can elaborate more later but, thats an update. So basically, 3 years after moving away from the city where his mother lives, she is still haunting us. There you go.View Thread
My initial diagnosis was approx three years ago and I was almost suicidal, very depressed, crying all the time. My doctor prescribed three meds initially that totally did not work ... finally he suggested Pristiq 50 mg and it definitely made a difference almost immediately. It leveled me out to being just okay and he then about four months later increased it to 100 mg and I now am at a pretty regular state where I find it almost impossible to cry even if I feel sad but I surely do not have manic episodes of thoughts of suicide. Recently I have had an enormous amount of family stressful situations daily and am grateful that Pristic and my prayers have allowed me to deal with these rationally and not completely go into depressed states, just a lot of thinking and prayer.View Thread
I saw my doctor today. I asked him if he would still see me if I ever decided to stop all meds. He said yes. Then I told him I haven't been taking my drugs as prescribed simply out of carelessness. It's as though, since I'm feeling better, meds are not the forefront of my brain and I therefore forget about them.
Due to this stream of conversation, my doctor advised me that Lamictal should be the staple of my meds and I can basically stop everything else (lithium, Abilify, Haldol [prn>, Zoloft, Vyvanse, and klonapin). Since I have in the past heard "the voice of God" telling me to do things, he reminded me of stories where mothers have heard God telling them to kill their children and they have done it. He said we will watch me closely and I will have to listen to him to ensure I can function. He said if I get too high or psychotic we will have to add the Abilify and if I get too low we will have to add the Zoloft. What do you think of this? My diagnosis is Bipolar I, severe, with psychotic features. Do you have any patients, diagnosed as such, that you feel confident taking only Lamictal? How can I be certain any psychotic symptoms won't fall through the tracks? I am not sabotaging a good thing (MUCH fewer meds) I am confused however as he has repeatedly told me we can't stop meds.View Thread
Hearing things that are not real is scary and sucks. Most of the time, if I hear voices, I hear them saying illegible things (although sometimes not...sometimes they even interact with me). Most of the time, I hear them coming from electronics (the computer, perceived intercoms, even the damn sound machine) and most of the time they sound as clear and as real as the day. Well, online ads, especially the ones that don't transfer correctly (have skipping like sounds, have the same ad playing at the same time 3 times, etc) freak me out. This site is one of the worse. The ads cause near panic because they seem real and almost taunting. It's like being in a crowded room and hearing your name called and not knowing if it is real or in your head. Anyway, this just happened and it freaked me out so I thought I would share. I have muted the computer so now I know.View Thread
I found myself on the ground trying to pick up the snow I dropped. Trying to snort my dropped powder, on my hands and knees, how shameful I must look right now. I don't care. I want it now! I can't bare to see it wasted. I can't bare not to have it. I need my fix. I need to have one last line, promising myself that this would be the last one I do. But, it's not. I found myself using all of my money buying more and more. But, that's not all I was doing. Prescription pills, popping them like candy. Taking more and more of them at a time just to get a quick high. Looking for anyway or anything to take me away from my real problem. I have a mental disorder called bi-polar, if you are not aware of it let me clue you in. It's a chemical imbalance in my brain that needs to be taken care of with medication. I can be on the manic side, basically that means I don't care about anything. Not one thing, not even me. My family suffers along with everything about me. The other is me depression I can go so low that means to me my life has no value, I can't live. I don't deserve to live. I bounce between the two of them quite often, but more than that I have mood swings. And when I say mood swings They go from happy, to mad, to laughing, to upset, to crying, to happy, to lonely, to depressed, to enjoying life all within a matter of a minute, literally. Trying to make one understand how this happens or why this happens is a mystery to me. But I does and the sad part id I can't control it, like people might think. For me the life I've loved and the life I've lived up to now has been one filled with drugs, sex, violence with a bit of motherhood, domesticated wife and trying to cope with my mental instability on my own. Obviously it didn't work out that great for me. My drugs of choice was always cocaine, man the way I felt on her was just spectacular and I could escape everything with just one line of that beauty. She was better than calgon and mixed with alcohol it made all things in my life good; better and all the bad just melted away. When I took script pills though I had to take 5-7 of them at a time the rush I got from them just left me numb to the world around me, but adding alcohol to them left me unaware of what I would do in a nights time. But for me it was a way for me to cope with everything at hand. I got to the point with all the drugs in my system I was taking pills and coke along with alcohol just to get through the day, and though I was comatose to everyone on the outside I was dying on the inside. Yelling at the top of my lungs and no one could ever hear me. I was so lost and confused with everything in my life. And to be honest I still am to this day. I say taking things one day at a time is the only way to function but the reality of it all is, is that I need to be taken away from all the drama, all the things that remind me of the bad I could do not only to myself but to my family as well. I suffer from the weakness of the wanting of the drugs and drinking and I suffer from the knowledge of not wanting to be in this world any longer and wanting to escape all the pain and suffering not only caused by myself but that caused by all the bad things that have happened not even by my own hand. It's a very hard thing to live with knowing that there is a chemical imbalance affecting the way one thinks along with the need and craving for one last taste of any drug you can get your hands on. And trying to hide it all from the ones who say they love you, but will not take the time to actually understand you. I'm always stuck in such a hard place all the time and just can't seem to get out from under the rock I always seem to be under. If there is a God and I believe that there is from how I was raised, then please with all that is left inside my soul and all the is hiding good within me from my heart, and all the right way of thinking please help me find a way to heal me and stop my cravings, and the stability I need.View Thread
How do you deal with the mood swings / attitude our daughter keeps coming home after living alone here and...
Posted by An_264194
How do you deal with the mood swings / attitude our daughter keeps coming home after living alone here and there she is 35 now and she has a lifestyle that conflicts with ours,she is in her old room and has completely trashed it . there has been drug abuse too in the past but not now we believe. I have cleaned room only to find that she trashes again, plus her moods are frequent! stays in bed all day, sometimes up all night ! and keeps our guest bathroom trashed with stuff, products . says she don't want to be around us!! is on meds just started - but we can say nothing to her because she goes off angry and disrespectful. In a program now, but the process is slow! plus she has a small dog. she is 35 now and I have been dealing with this since she was 14. but her moods are more destructive now depending what she interprets you have requested or said to her. she is also very compulsive about the trashy room - removed curtains and hung a sheet over window. she at one point left through the window at night - I believe to get drugs. but she says no drugs being taken. We don't allow her to have company in our house because she always leans towards the druggies, and very low class scary trashy people. If I clean the shared bathroom she will trash it the next day or in a couple of hours! she is seeing a doctor and soon will have counseling - again so should we just ignore her habits and moods and just pray for relief? Should we confront her about how we like to live - we are seniors now and 70 , & 71, We don't let her use our autos either which she is livid about but we tried once when she returned home from jail we had to look for the car because she did not come back for a couple of days - twice so we just do not let her have our autos. she has never had a traditional job in the past 15 years either (was a dancer in clubs for the most part but this was always drama for her getting robbed , stuff id's etc. stolen in and out of jail for minor stuff - that she would blow out of proportion - She claims she hates us too - hopefully this program will help to get her back on track. I don't know what meds she is on now either - but I know she recently started some .View Thread
On Wednesday, I saw a brand-new psychiatrist. I've been seeing psychiatrists since 2001 for med management for ADD and depression. I've had bad luck with psychs...three have moved out of the area, two have changed practices (and stopped taking my insurance), and I chose to leave one practice.
This new psych seems very good. She took a full psychiatric history and asked me insightful questions about my current symptoms. I was there for over an hour.
Towards the end of the interview, she gave me a firm diagnosis of treatment resistant depression and then said, "I am almost certain that you fall somewhere on the bipolar spectrum." She asked me to track my moods for the next month, and she'd run some tests to be sure, before she made a final diagnosis. She did place me on Lamictal.
Of course, I went home and started doing my own research and...I saw myself in a lot of their descriptions of Bipolar 2/Cyclothimia. I've never lost my grip on reality, but I certainly have swung between periods of high energy, optimism, and high productivity and periods of significant depression.
My husband of 14 years agreed with the tentative diagnosis, saying that it seems like my "moods" have gotten worse since the birth of our children (who are 8 and 5).
So...what do I do now? I am in a profession in which a diagnosis of bipolar could be devastating. I'm wondering how I, my therapist, and numerous psychiatrists have missed this. I'm wondering when, how, and if to tell my boss. I'm worried that I'll pass this on to my children.
And of course, I'm worried that at some point, things will get worse, I will have a full-blown mania episode, and will have to be hospitalized.
Thanks for "listening". I will welcome any advice or thoughts that you can give me.
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