You are to hard on yourself. How can you be responsible for something you don't remember doing. Your family forgives you because they love you and they understand that it wasn't your fault. You must forgive yourself, please. Your story made me cry. I'm sending you lots and lots of love and big hugs.View Thread
It sounds like you have a lot of control over your illness and for that I am truly so happy for you. In my sons case when he first became sick - he didn't know he was sick. Perhaps without his family he could have gotten hurt or even hurt someone else. I just know as a mother in my heart that there are times that he does and says things that I know are not part of who he is. Before he became sick he was always so good, never got into trouble, polite and good hearted. He was the type of person that would stop and help a stranger in need and has done so on three occasions.We were on a cruise and some mean boys were picking on a slow minded boy and my son asked them politely to stop and leave the boy alone. The other boys didn't like being told to stop and things almost got out of hand. Another time he was riding the bus to (private) school and nerdy boy who no one talks to had his head smashed against the glass by a bully from another school (public) and no one did anything. This bully had quite the reputation. When it was time to get off the bus for the private school - none of his school mates did or said anything. My son couldn't just ignore the fact that he needed help and he escorted him to the office. On another occasion a girl was being hit by her boyfriend - my son asked the girl if she was ok - she relied no and my son went after the boy. The next day my car had broken windows. I know in my heart who my son is I know when it is him speaking and when it is the illness speaking. My son is such a beautiful person when he is stable - that is how I know that if he ever did anything to hurt himself or anyone else it will because of the illness. The NAMI near me has informed me that we have a mental health court, I hope that I will never have to use it. How I miss my beautiful son. I will continue to pray for cure. God bless.View Thread
This is really a tough one. If someone is having a mood episode aren't the things that you describe like stealing a candy bar or damaged relations, super-increased sexual desires symptoms of BP. If a person is unable to control himself/herself when overwhelming sadness or euphoria appear then how can you blame them for something they if they are unable to control themselves? (did that make sense) In my particular case, I would never blame my son for the things he has done while in a mood episode. To me it's not his fault for having a chemical imbalance. I read a post not to long ago where someone was feeling tremendous guilt for things they had done. In my opinion it's not their fault if they are having a mood episode and may do things that they wouldn't otherwise do if they weren't having an episode. If someone should do something wrong and use the illness as an excuse that is different. For instance when my son is manic he gets a lot of anger and use awful language. When he moves towards recovery he no longer has anger and is kind and polite. I would never make him feel guilty for doing something that I know is a symptom of his illness and not a part of who he is. The following is from Moodswing written by Dr. Fieve who pioneered the use of lithium in America.
With each year, researchers come closer to understanding how brain neurotransmitter hormones control the nervous system and affect mood and behavior.It is now widely accepted that much of our behavior is affectd by our individual biochemical profile. Will our judicial system eventually be more forgiving of behavior that is biogentically caused? How accountable for his or her behavior is an individual with a biochemical imbalance?
In my sons case he has BP1 which in my opinion can be a debilitating emotional illness and I would never hold him responsible for things I know who would not do if he had not become sick. It's not their fault.
If someone is stable and on medication and does something wrong and uses the illness as an excuse that is an entirely different situation.
So GLAD to see you here. You must have yopur hands full with a newborn and 3 young children and work. I hope this week will be less stressful for you. Send me an updated picture of that BEAUTIFUL baby when you have chance. That last pic really made me smile. Take care.View Thread
My son is 21 and very difficult. He hasn't yet accepted his diagnosis and the fact that he needs meds, even after the hospitalization. He wanted to attend his last appointment by himself so I waited outside in the car. Usually my husband or myself would speak with the Dr. at the end of his session. He's less likely to become angry with my husband around so I will send him tomorrow to discuss the meds with his pdoc. I've been waiting patiently the past 3 weeks for his depakote level to increase and the abilify to take effect. He has been better the past few days but we still have a ways to go. When he is stable it is easier but when he's not the meds and dr. appts are an argument. Thank you Dr. G. for your response, it is very helpful and very much appreciated.View Thread
Before going into the hospital my son was taking Depakote ER - they switched him to Divalproex DR. I read that only 85% of the ER is absorded. So ? - my son is taking 2000 mg of the DR which would be like taking what amount of the ER? 2250 or 2500?
Abilify - I've noticed that he isn't moving his arms when we walks or moves around. He appears to be very stiff. He did this when he was on the risperdone when he was fist diagnosed a year ago. His hands shake alot too and he seems a little pale. Last week his body was shaking - he thought he was shivering because he was cold. Is this the side effect Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome? I left a message with his pdoc - his appt is tomorrow but because he is 21 he doesn't have to include me in his care. This did go away when he stopped taking the risperdone. What is your opinion?View Thread