My Husband will occasional tell me I'm acting Bipolar when I start ranting about something. The WORST has been my family, they insist Bipolar Disorder does not exist. The ONLY thing they will discuss is some of my previous behavior which was 30 years ago. To this day, I changed almost immediately after being diagnosed and medicated. I am a very bad rapid cycling Bipolar1. However, they absolutely refuse to discuss anything but the past. My brothers sent me faxes using the worst profanity you can imagine. Phone calls as well, so I changed my number to unlisted, got a new fax, blocked satellite vision and wrote them all offView Thread
I am an atrocious rapid cycling Bipolar one. Sometimes, I cycle everyday. I also have ADHD, I take a huge amount of meds. My mania is very aggressive, hostile, adrenalin surge from toes to head in zero to eighty in seconds. I am not an easy patient as meds do not work for me. I have taken every drug on the market with no results. I have been with my Psychiatrist for 20 years and fortunately he is a genius with chemistry. I have been almost stable for awhile. I can not imagine being without him. However, like you, my longtime Therapist moved and I went through exactly what you are experiencing. I was so anxious, I went through several bouts of severe mania crashing into depression. I went to two Therapists who unfortunately did not work out. When you have a relationship that is so symbiotic, it goes to the core of your being, they are a part of you. Losing that person is like a death, pushing you into mourning. I finally found my current Therapist and I have the incredible relationship with him. Sometimes, as I'm leaving after a session I have an overwhelming feeling of joy. This person REALLY knows me and understands. I wish you well in finding the perfect person, it is not easy. I would also say that you should not rush this process. Therapy is something good we do for ourselves. Rushing into it out of fear is not good for you. After all, you have us.
I am SO GLAD to see you, I was completely demoralized thinking you were gone. I want to discuss 2 topics with you which unbelievably have come up today. First, your response to my post has really made me think. I believe I have discussed with you before, my unreal tolerance to meds, my Dad is the same. We also share a problem where most people are helped by a drug and it will not work for us. I have taken EVERY Bipolar med on the market and most did not work. Abilify caused me to develop Tardive Dyskenesia. I finally responded to Seroquel and have been taking it for several years. I also take an antidepressant, anti seizure and various others. I was given Concerta after extensive testing showed I had ADHD and it helped me immensely. Coinsidently, I arrived DOA in total renal failure from Lithium toxcicity 2 years ago. My creatinin level was 9.2 and my Husband was told they did not believe I would make it. I went for blood tests every two weeks the entire time I was on Lithium and my levels were always 1.0-1.2. I had gone for a blood test one week before this incident and my creatinin level was 1.0. NO ONE could understand why my creatinin shot up in such a short time. Everyone wondered what on earth happened. I never in my life drank alcohol, I have never touched an illegal substance or herbs. However, today you informed us about NSAIDS raising lithium levels by 20%. At that time I had an injury and I was prescribed Voltaren which is a anti-inflammatory drug. I also researched and found that Concerta is also an anti-inflammatory drug. Really food for thought I would say ! The only issue that has been ongoing as far back as I can remeber is insomnia. Dr. K who knows Dr G temporarily gave me Valium and Gabapentin to see if I could sleep ? Poor Dr K has been dealing with my insomnia for 20 years, I took EVERY medication in the world for sleep and nothing worked. However, I am now sleeping well just less than most people. About a month ago, one of my front teeth broke and I developed a very bad abcess. I just watched it as my face blew up , my lips were huge and I could not feel them. My eye was was so swollen shut it stuck out 2 inches, I then decided the situation was bad and I called the Oral Surgeon who unblocked glands in my neck. He told me to go immediately to the hospital or the infection would go into my brain. He was incredulous when Oxycodone via an IV was not helping the horrible pain at all. I explained that this was not unusual for me, he finally gave me double the dosage normally given of Dilaudid via IV and that did help the pain. Is Mount Sinai still on Madison Ave ? I lived on Madison and 95th in a fabulous apartment. I went to the ER at Mount Sinai a couple of times, I am positive they used your ER as the model for the show ER. Every derelict, nut case, homeless sleeping, a pregnant lady giving birth. One time, as usual, I waited too long to get medical attention for an upper respiratory infection and my fever was 104 F. I was a stupid 20 year old and some derelict kept pulling my hair. I started crying and punched him in the nose (Bipolar do you think ?). If you can believe it, I walked to the Hospital in 4 inch heels. So the derilict tried to grab me and I pushed my stilletto heel through his instep. He was screaming and carrying on, so security threw him out.
LOL, here we are, Dr K knows Dr G, Dr G has helped me immensely and I lived down the street from Dr. G's Hospital .View Thread
I am a rapid cycling Bipolar 1 and I'm also diagnosed with ADHD. I take 54 mg of Concerta for the ADHD.
Whenever I'm given a project that I like, I become completely addicted. My mind races so much, I finally start to get confused. I go 4 days with no sleep, thinking of my project. I cannot see it in increments, I only see it in totality.
How do I change this ? I take an incredible amount of meds and don't really want to take more. The project I'm working on now is interior decorating. Instead of just looking at what to do one room at a time, all I can envision is how the house will look when I'm done. This is not new, I've been this way forever and found ways to compensate. However, it's getting worse, today is my fourth day with no sleep. As Bipolars, we all know this is not good. My mind is racing a million miles an hour and I don't know how to slow it down. Does anyone else have this problem ?View Thread
After much thought and soul searching, along with your comments, I figured it out. I have always thought I would go back to my previous life. Of course, I was not aware of this, I kept trying and trying to have the energy I was accustomed to and would become despondent when I could not do it. I tried and tried to be perfectly groomed as I had always been, then crash and burn into depression when I could not do it.
I have an excellent cognitive therapist and Psychiatrist, however, since I was unaware of what I was doing, I could not tell them. Realizing now how much I was forcing myself to do things I was no longer capable of, caused extreme anxiety and stress. I have chronic migraines and have been an insomniac as long as I can remember. I would go 5 days with no sleep, and then feel guilty if I took a nap during the day. Now that I see the intertwining of all these behaviors, I can start to find other pursuits that I enjoy. I was actually considering going back to riding competitively !!!!
I know it will be very difficult, however, I have no choice. I actually can't believe, I figured it out.View Thread
I am a rapid cycling bipolar 1, I am also diagnosed with PTSD. My anxiety is so bad that the minute I start to feel it, I break out in hives and sores. I have been taking 10mg of Valium 4 times a day for years. At first it was great, however, with time it stopped working. Also, I hated the idea of taking that much Valium but I hated the anxiety more.
During one extreme anxiety spell, my Psychiatrist added Atarax to the Valium and it did work.View Thread
I don't think I phrased the question correctly. I've been a rapid cycling bipolar 1 for years.
Before I had the overwhelming event that sent me over the precipice into full blown bipolar disorder, I led a great life.
I took great care of myself, I ALWAYS walked out the door, not a hair out of place , I got fabulous reviews at work. As I mentioned before, I was perfectly put together. When I fell into full blown bipolar disorder, even with medication, I could not do the things I had done before. I had to stop working and go on disability. I no longer took care of myself, T-Shirt and sweats was it. I would sleep all day, would not leave the house.
I worked so hard to pull my self back up, I cannot do it every day but I am doing things I NEVER did before. I planted flowers across the whole front of my house. I went out to dinner with my husband and friends. It's INCREDIBLY hard but I am trying.
I guess my question would be, as I age will the disease take over ? Will I be incapable of a semi-normal life ?
No, this is not my issues. My Doctor is away and I would like to know answers. A number of us went out last night, we have visitors here. The topic turned to Bipolar Disorder, I was the only Bipolar so I tried to explain what I consider Bipolar to be.
My question is: As a Bipolar like me, Rapid Cycling Bipolar 1 taking massive doses of medication start to deteriorate in areas like ALWAYS being perfectly dressed, made up, perfect hair etc. ? Wouldn't the meds help me keep some normalcy ? Gone from always being very social, parties, dinners, Black Tie, Committees, Charities etc. to preferring quiet, being with my dogs, reading ?
After ECT, will I be able to cut back on meds ?View Thread