I agre, if you are wondering about it, a second opinion may be best.
I was diagnosed at 34 as being bi-polar II. When I was 20, I saw a doctor on my own for depression b/c I knew I was depressed. I spent many years on medication for depression and was frustrated b/c they didn't seem to help. All I knew was that I was way beyond sad or blue and that I'd lay around like a slug for days or even weeks on end. I never told anyone about the radical bursts of engery I'd get from time to time. I was just happy to have energy to do stuff, like clean my house, shop for groceries, and do laundry. I felt like superwoman because I needed little sleep and got so much done.
When I was diagnosed, I was shocked. All I knew about BP came from bad made-for-TV movies about women who were nuts. I didn't think I was nuts like that. I have a good pdoc and he helped me understand BP acording to me b/c my experience may be very different from bpcookie or Slik_Kitty or even yours.View Thread
I've suffered with agrophobia and BPD all of my life but got a diagnosis a couple years ago. When I was diagnosed, I was at my lowest point. I was being investigated for welfare fraud (I was a worker) because my 'friend' hid some of her mis-deeds in my name. I was cleared but, that was the final straw for my already fragile mental health. I had a nervous breakdown and I could not leave my room. I lost my job and got on disability. I got medicated and stable and have been working hard with my pdoc and tdoc. I am by no means cured but I'm making progress. One of the things that held me down was the lack of productivity. My kids are school age and I had 7 hours per day which was unstructured. Unstructured time is dangerous for me. For me, there's only so much reading, tv watching, cleaning, and exercise that can be done a day. In my previous life, I helped people and loved to do that. But, who can you help locked up in your house/prison all day? Through Facebook, I became friends with my local humane society. It was there I learned I could be a foster parent for an animal in need. I began by fostering a mother cat with her infant kittens because I couldn't face the idea they'd be raised in a shelter with little human contact (althought I know they tried to give each animal care, no doubt about it). They provided the food, medical care, medicine, bowls, bed, litter pan, and litter. I haven't had to spend one dime, except when I wanted to buy toys or stuff. All you have to provide is space. No matter what my mood, I could always care for the babies since they really didn't require much care from me. It has been a joy and pleasure fostering these families. They've given me so much more than I could give them, like a sense of acomplishment and a little pride in myself. They make me laugh. They let me hold them when I cry. They let me feel like I'm making a difference. They made me feel worthy of their love and worthwhile as a human being. Most humane societies runs a foster pet program. Mine has dogs, cats, litters, rabbits, and many other pets. And, if you choose to foster, you may be able to get a deeply discounted pet of your own. You even get first choice on your foster pet but you are not requiered to keep them. Maybe you can do some good of your own. The rewards are endless.View Thread
I don't think all pdocs and tdocs care about is money. I've gotten a lot of help from mine. They give me my meds when I can't afford them. They've worked with me on my balances. My pdoc has always been great but it took a couple tries before I found the right tdoc. Just as it took time to find the right med combination for me. You CAN come out the other side but you have to be willing to seek help and be actively involved in your recovery. It's the only way to break the cycle.
After 2 years of hard work, hospitalizations, tdocs, pdocs, ECT, and meds, I can take my kids out school shopping with mild to moderate discomfort. I takes time to heal and professional help but, the cycle can be broken.
You didn't answer my last question...Are you safe?View Thread
I know it's hard to make the decission to reach out for help, especially to the hospital. I've been to the hospital more than 6 times in 2 years. It's hard to make the choice to get help and I'm proud of you for making the choice.
I've always told my husband about my need to go in advance, except when I was told to go directly there by the pdoc or tdoc. I would suggest talking to him. You never know, he might be feeling like you need some extra help too. As for my 3 kids, I tell them only that I need to go to the hospital because I'm sick (and that's really not a lie).
In the meantime, I agree with cookie...give him all your meds and have him dish up the right amount. I almost lost my life once holding back one of my meds. I swallowed 20 klonipin because I couldn't sleep; 2 every 15 min for hours until I finally passed out.View Thread
I HATE talking to my ex-husband but, since we have kids, I have to suck it up and talk sometimes. I called him to ask if he could get the kids haircuts since I just dropped a wad of cash on school clothes/supplies. I expected him to be petty and say no with some stupid remark about how he pays his child support. (Lord, don't get me started on support!!)
He shocked me by saying yes and got his wife to make them appointments today. He told me she'd be here at 3:30 today to pick them up. I had the girls dressed and ready at the appointed time.
Then, his wife came in. I really don't lke his wife at all either. They talk a lot of smack behind my back to the girls. Well, she screwed her face up as usual, trying to make me feel small. BUT, I didn't let her get under my skin!! I made some small talk about haircutting and they all left.
I'm proud of myself for not letting her ruin my day and for having the courage to ask for help from their dad.View Thread
I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. You are describing, atleast to me, the way I feel before the really bad thoughts show up. I think living with BP already makes you strong; you shouldn't put more pressure on yourself to be more or do more than you can. And, does it matter if you do it slowly or quickly? Wanting to hurt yourself is still wanting to hurt yourself.
You've got to try to stop this now before you become a prisoner of your own mind and your own home. I also suffer from agoraphobia as well as BP. It got so bad for me that I couldn't leave my own room...even my kitchen frightened me!! Please, please don't let this happen to you.
You say you don't trust your doctors or their meds. Did you trust them before this incident happened? Have you asked yourself what, honestly, made you lose confidence? Would you reach out to another doctor? Are you safe?View Thread
I'll let you know how it all goes down, for sure!! She was diagnosed at the end of 3rd grade last year but, by the time all the testing was done, it was really too late in the year to do anything. She was suspended from school for 3 days last year for writing and having other kids sign a petetion titled "Mrs. Teacher is a Fing B". This summer she's been doing behavior mod for anger issues but had no difinitive personality diagnosis. She can just be a bully sometimes and it's always someone elses' fault.
I flat refused to let the school do an IEP b/c she'll never be able to shake the troublemaker tag throughout her school life. She's a gifted child who needs some help which may, in the future, include medicine. I am willing to do a 504 with the school which can allow her to fidget or draw during her downtime. That tends to be where her trouble is, managing downtime.
I got my CBS at a place called Blue Ridge Behavioral Health. The school has reps there working with other children. Perhaps you can ask the school if they have mental health reps in your school?View Thread