So...I went out on a limb (for me) and told my siblings about my illness. One of them (who has a masters degree in psychology, mind you) did not accept it. She said all kinds of insensitive things like taking medicine for a short time is fine but I think you need to be careful if they are telling you to take medicine for the rest of your life and that she had been around me and not seen anything that would cause her to think that. I reminded her that she was around me when I was most out of my mind for a week when I was on vacation and she said "I thought you were just really spiritual" and then went on to tell me that the enemy (the devil) will sneak in any way he can and try to rob our faith. She asked me "what does your husband think" and "what does your mom think." The worst part for me is because of her reaction, my reaction was to try to convince her I have an illness and I told her way more details than I would have wanted. She even wrote off and belittled the delusions. At one point she said "if you tell me you are making it all up, I will still love you." Seriously? When have I ever been dishonest with her? Never. Before we got off the phone she told me she loves me and she will be there for me however I proceed...she said it like I needed to make up my mind whether or not this is real. I can't decide whether to feel hurt or angry but I am so upset that I have lost sleep.View Thread
Plans: Hubs is still not working and currently grilling out for lunch (he is starting to get better). I am taking the kiddos swimming a little later at my mom and dad's. Hopefully will be a fun day.View Thread
We finally (recently) got my lithium to the correct dosage and it has done wonders for my mood. Finally I feel normal for the first time in a very long time. It's wonderful. I still have a ton of inexplicable anxiety though and I have so many fears around my mental illness still. My biggest fear is about post partum. I know how high the likelihood for an episode after birth is. It scares me. No matter how much I say I'm done worrying, I find myself worrying. This illness has consumed both my life and thoughts for the last year. I am exhausted from worrying about it and living it. Now that I finally have peace, I'm worried about not having peace again. It's a useless cycle.View Thread
Plans: Hubs was in the hospital with an allergic reaction to some unknown substance. He is home now and returning to work tomorrow or the next day. Having him here has been nice the last 2 days even though he is still in pain and has hardly left the couch. The kids have been rotten all day, fighting and arguing with each other and talking back to me. I'm hoping they are done with this nonsense because it is wearing me out. Later today we might go look at couches because we are getting a new one before baby Vivian makes her arrival in mid Sept.View Thread
Hi tlinn and welcome to the board! I don't have quite the same symptoms as you but I definitely have mood changes based on some seasons. I think that can be very normal in mood disorders. I sympathize with feeling like a human science experiment at times but I would not recommend trying to manage your moods in any non-pharmaceutical ways. Your cycling will likely be much worse without meds. I hope you find this summer less stressful than those past! Thanks, SarahView Thread
I am a Christian with bipolar disorder. Last year I had a major psychotic break that revolved around my faith. I normally have strong faith but it turned into hyper-religiosity and I was loaded with delusions surrounding my faith. I still have found no sense in it. I still am angry that this is an illness and that I don't have control of who I am and how I think and feel and how I behave. I still haven't figured out what good comes out of this illness or how to use it. The only thing it does is make me shut up because I am afraid I will break again and no one will take me seriously. I am still afraid of practicing my faith with the passion and regularity that I used to because I am afraid it will make me so sick again. I too believe in Jesus Christ and at one time I had my faith strongly in him. I'd like to have it back but my illness is a major obstacle. I'm not even sure why I felt compelled to share this with you. Maybe I just think I understand how your wife feels and I know how easily this illness can wreck even a strong faith. It is terrible. I'm sorry you have to deal with this and I know how scary it is for your wife. Hold on to your faith and include and reassure her as much as you can. If you find the goodness in this, even if it's just in you and your wife's situation, let us know.View Thread
Happy Monday friends! I hope you enjoyed your weekend.
Mood: I feel more normal than I can remember feeling. I've only felt this way for a few days but the change feels drastic. I've been on lithium for several weeks now but only on the right dose for about 5 days. I hope it's the lithium and not a coincidence but either way I'll take it!
Plans: Yesterday my little Volvo wagon got rear ended by a dodge Durango. I was sitting at a red light and he just slammed into me. He busted out the rear windshield and smashed in the rear of my car. Luckily, I had no kiddos in the car and went to ER to have the baby monitored and she is fine too. Best part of this, the driver was uninsured. It was a fun day. This morning, our tv stopped working. Needless to say, aside from some running, I'll be being very lazy today! Hope you guys are having better luck in 1st world problems than me this week, lol.View Thread
I have a very loving a supportive husband but he can do the same thing at times. Most of the time he gets it right, but sometimes, he assumes that comforting me after I've been crying equals sex. I'm sorry you have to go through this and that your husband doesn't always get it! No matter how much you explain, he probably won't get it. Men's brains don't work like our brains work. I hope it's gotten a little better in this department since you posted this.View Thread