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Sleep: Ok, woke up sore from working out
Mood: varying; woke up sore, but in a good mode. Helped clean up after my mom cooked, decided to try a few new recipes today. Fast forward a few hours and now I'm alone. My parents are up in the den while I'm by myself in the living room. I have no where to go and no one to talk to, but at least I'm finished with school until January Yay!
Plans: Probably just going to sit around the house for the next week or so, until my friends finish with classes. I'm done with school a week early so I have nothing to do. I want to finish Christmas shopping, but I have no way to do it by myself. At least I get to get out of the house 3 times a week to go workout. My mood keeps changing so much, I can't think straight most of the time. Hope the rest of the month goes by fast, can't wait to get out of this house!View Thread

I've never been able to be who I want to be or live my life how I wanted to for so long, that when I finally got that year to live my life for me, I dreaded coming back home for the summer. At first it, I was just gonna be home until August. But my grandmother got real sick and I didn't want to be away from home when she passed so I took a semester online & moved back home to be with her. She passed in May, but by then it was too late to switch my classes back over. I'm stuck living at home from May until mid January. I can't really "get away" in this house. I have the type of "father" who in some sick way wants his children to "suffer" like he claims to have suffered as a child. So if any of us do something that he doesn't approve of, he tries to find ways to seclude 1 or more of us from everyone else. You can imagine how painful it can be in a house of 4-6 people, and the majority of them treat you as if you're not there or belittle you whenever you come into a room/leave a room. When my brother moved out. his room became my study/tv room. I recently had a breakdown & of course my "dad" made it about him. I laying on the floor crying my heart out, hyperventilating, having a panic attack, and all he cares about is how selfish I'm being by doing so. He claimed he wanted to talk & figure out what was wrong, but all he did was call me spoiled, selfish, and a brat. I told him I don't want to talk. Ever since then he has taken the Directv box out of my room, pretends I don't exist unless it's time to call me names, & tries to put everyone against me. He even goes as far as getting mad at my mother if I try to spend any time with her. I have no "safe place" here, all my friends are off at school and don't have time to talk when I need to. My brothers work all day, and anytime I try to open up no one wants to listen or believe what I have to say. I've have come to the conclusion that no one here likes me, I'm OK with that. I'm just counting the days until I can move back to school and finally be happy again.View Thread




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