I want to reply to everyone. As a mom of a 22 yr old Bi Polar Son and being Bi Polar myself as well as a NAMI Family 2 Family Education Facilitator, I feel I can reply with a little bit of knowing exactly where everyone is coming from.
I do suggest if you can find a Family 2 Family 12 week course for education, please sign up. This will 'save' you, I promise. You will be with other people who have loved ones who suffer with mental illness. All of your feelings are normal. They aren't selfish. You are totally stressed out. It is very hard being a mom and knowing what to do.
I fight many people in my life that feel that my son is lazy and just chooses not to work. I wish things were different but he can't work yet, I do think in time he will be able to. He has come a long way in last 3 years since he was hospitalized for suicidal ideation. They changed his meds and that helped but he also did 5 months of intensive out patient group and individual therapy for 8 hrs days. He continues to do cognitive behavior therapy every two weeks.
He has learned to be more social and wants to do things now, this wasn't always the case. He was very much just like your son to the 'T'. My personal opinion is that his meds aren't right yet and he needs them to be so he can get the other help he needs. It is such a tough place to be. He really doesn't want to be like this and deep down I can guarantee he feels like a burden.
I was just recently diagnosed with Bi Polar. I have struggled off and on my entire life with depression. I work full time and do other odd jobs, on the outside I look like I have it all together, on the inside its another story. The only reason I drag myself to work sometimes is I do have three sons and have always been their sole supporter. My oldest son with Bi Polar will require my assistance always or at least some. I have days where I don't want to leave my house, just sit and 'veg' out and sometimes I have to allow myself a day like that to recharge. I have a very difficult time fighting my demons and I think if I didn't have children I would give in to it more. I was recently put on another med and it is helping with the depression side some but now the manic side is more prevalent, I don't sleep and am exhausted and hyper at the same time.
My heart just breaks hearing how hard this is for you. Until I found NAMI I felt so alone. I still do except when I am with other NAMI people. I volunteer by teaching and am now on the Board of Directors. I am at peace when with others that understand and never judge.
I know you mean no offense to others with mental illness, you just need some help for 'you', some counseling would be good, you must take care of yourself or you can't help him. I was fortunate my son wanted me to be with him at all doctor appts. and in therapy up until about a year ago. He has told me that if it wasn't for my support and love he wouldn't be here today, so don't give up on your son, but you do have the right to be frustrated and angry, it sucks, it isn't what any of us signed on for, you or your son or any of us out here.
I don't know if you are spiritual or not, but that helps me also. So I hope I don't offend, but I will say some prayers for you and your son. God Bless you all.View Thread