My WebMD Sign In

Please enter email address

Enter your password

Keep me signed in on this computer

Show more Information

If you select "Keep me signed in on this computer", every time you visit WebMD.com you won't have to type your email address and password. This means that a cookie will stay on your computer even when you exit or close your browser which may reduce your levels of privacy and security. You should never select this option if you're using a publicly accessible computer, or if you're sharing a computer with others. Even if you select this option there are some features of our site that still require you to log in for privacy reasons.

Forget your password? Having trouble signing in?

Why should I
sign up for WebMD?

With a WebMD Account you can:

Track your way to weight loss success
Manage your family's vaccinations
Join the conversation

See more benefits Sign Up

Why WebMD?

My WebMD

Show Menu

Facebook Twitter Pinterest

WebMD Home

Bipolar Disorder Community

Reply: Medicated Bipolar Partner - Relationship and Job S...

Thanks, Mercy, for your response! I looked into NAMI support groups and may try one in my...

Posted by piano30

3 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Medicated Bipolar Partner - Relationship and Job Stress Thanks, Mercy, for your response! I looked into NAMI support groups and may try one in my...

Medicated Bipolar Partner - Relationship and Job S...

When I started dating my bipolar partner 15 months ago, I didn't know that he was bipolar...

Posted by piano30

When I started dating my bipolar partner 15 months ago, I didn't know that he was bipolar and just assumed he was bad at handling stress. His own business was not going well and he had been going on many job interviews, but had no offers. He withdrew often, pushed me away, and would stop speaking or returning my calls. I used to think it was my problem, that I had done something to upset him.

When I finally confronted him and asked why he wasn't happy, he said he could not see a future with me and that the relationship wasn't going where it needed to go after 10 months together. He said he loved me as a friend, but that was it. So we broke up in June.

After several attempts to communicate with him and suspecting that he was clinically depressed, I finally heard from him in August when he asked to meet to talk. He confessed that he was bipolar - he was diagnosed almost 25 years ago at age 13 and explained that he decided to end our relationship in the middle of a manic episode, which he was on medication for, but the pressure of the relationship and the job search just made him believe that ending it with me was easier than explaining everything. He assured me that he was taking his medication consistently and managing it well. He saw his psychiatrist only once every 1-2 months, and even though he was not in talk therapy, he said he'd start going once he could afford it and even said he was open to couples counseling with me.

He wanted to reconcile, which I wanted, too. I told him that one condition of getting back together was discussing the future and working on building one together. I told him that I didn't want to just date, that I wanted to be married and have a family. He said he wanted that, too.

At first, I was extremely scared that he was going to leave abruptly again, but he convinced me that we were going to be open about everything and try to make it work. Things were going great. The passion was back. He was attentive and affectionate. He talked about what a great relationship we had. He even wanted to move in together and was more motivated to get a good job instead of continuing to try at his own business to be responsible and provide for a family one day.

About 2 months ago that he was starting to feel manic again - he was going on more interviews and could feel the stress triggering another episode. The meds didn't work as fast or effectively as he was used to. During this time, however, he finally got a great job offer, but starting a new job after 4 years out of the workforce was stressful. I think after months of everything being about him and his problems, I started to worry for myself - when am I ever going to be a priority?

So last week, I asked him just that. I wanted reassurance that things weren't always going to be like this, that he still loved me and could see a future with me. He seemed ambivalent about me and our relationship and told me that career right now is his first priority because he's very stressed and wants to be successful.

I should add that he also stopped taking his medicine too soon because he thought he was feeling better, but I think he relapsed. I'm just not sure if he changed his mind because he can't stand me anymore or if it's the stress/bipolar to blame.

It would be pretty scary for any guy to have to face questions about marriage and the future, but I what I forgot was that he is bipolar and still manic. The next day, I saw him and asked why he didn't want to talk to me, he said he wanted to end it, he needs a break, we want different things and the relationship wasn't going where it needed to go, and he only loved me as a friend. I asked him if he wanted to wait to talk about this and make the decision when he was feeling better. He said he didn't think it would make any difference. He was singing the same tune he had sung in June. Was the relationship just too much pressure for him, and he couldn't handle it anymore?View Thread

Posted bypiano30

3 Replies | Reply | Watch This DiscussionReport This| Share this:Medicated Bipolar Partner - Relationship and Job Stress When I started dating my bipolar partner 15 months ago, I didn't know that he was bipolar...

See Related Mental Health Communities

See All Communities

Women's Health Newsletter

Find out what women really need.

Other Bipolar Disorder Information

Bipolar Disorder Health Center
Slideshow: Bipolar Disorder Overview
Families of Depressed & Bipolar Kids Tips and Support from Members Like You!

The opinions expressed in WebMD User-generated content areas like communities, reviews, ratings, or blogs are solely those of the User, who may or may not have medical or scientific training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of WebMD. User-generated content areas are not reviewed by a WebMD physician or any member of the WebMD editorial staff for accuracy, balance, objectivity, or any other reason except for compliance with our Terms and Conditions. Some of these opinions may contain information about treatments or uses of drug products that have not been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. WebMD does not endorse any specific product, service, or treatment.

Do not consider WebMD User-generated content as medical advice. Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice from your doctor or other qualified healthcare provider because of something you have read on WebMD. You should always speak with your doctor before you start, stop, or change any prescribed part of your care plan or treatment. WebMD understands that reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment from a qualified health care provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or dial 911 immediately.