How do I explain my symptoms of bipolar and behavior to my family?
I have a long history of major depression. I was told I was bipolar about 12 years ago but didn't believe it. I was treated for bipolar by several doctors and then was later told I wasn't bipolar. Now my new psychiatrist says I am bipolar 11 because I seem to do ok on a new antidepressant for a couple of months and then crash into suicidal depression. This has happened over and over - seems like hundreds of times and I can't take it anymore. I am always depressed but certain triggers kick me over the edge toward suicidal mode.
One of the big problems I have is trying to explain how I feel to my family. Most days I have to drag myself by the hair just to get anything done or even just to shower and brush my teeth. But sometimes, for instance - when I wanted to get a dog - I had enough energy to drive 7 hours to pick it up and bring it home. I know I wasn't hypo-manic because I was very depressed when I made the arrangements and left a couple days later. I think it was just that I was excited about getting the puppy so I had the energy to do it. That is a very rare thing though. Right now, as I sit here typing, I haven't had a shower in five days. I can't seem to make myself do it. What is wrong with me????
My family insists that when I want something I will do it or I'll go after it. But then they say that if I don't want it, I won't do it and I make excuses. I know that isn't right. I don't want to be this way. I want to do the things I used to do but I just can't seem to function. I have no energy or motivation and am very lethargic. I used to be very social, very active, had lots of hobbies, and was a very hard worker. I was very successful in my work. Now I'm not interested in anything. My family seems to think this is a choice I am making and that I have control over it. How on earth do I explain this when I don't even know why I am this way?View Thread
Thanks for the advice, J. I am seeing a therapist and a Pdoc. I've had regular monthly appointments with a Pdoc for about 30 years but was diagnosed with bipolar after my first manic episode 12 years ago. I have never really been medicated appropriately for bipolar so I have been suffering seems like forever. I have been hospitalized several times and also had ECT, which didn't help all that much.
I normally wouldn't procrastinate at things or even hate to do something so much that I wouldn't do it. I used to take care of what needed to be done every day. Since this bipolar problem started I've been a different person. My son told me recently that I only do what I want to do or go where I want to go. When I tried to explain how lethargic I feel and that I have to force myself to do everything, including leaving my apartment for any reason. He told me to stop lying to myself because he sees me doing the things I want to do or things I l think are important to me. He has no idea how much energy it takes to do the things he sees me doing and how much I have to fight to get motivated. I just would like to know if there is a "name" for this problem and how to better explain it so he understands.View Thread