I have been using WebMD for years, the symptom checker is amazing, I only now realize that there is a community. I've been spending a lot of time trying to find out answers to the issues that are plaguing me and I'm not sure where else to go.
Things have been like this since I can remember. It is a family joke that I am the moodiest person on the planet. I can smile one minute, and then get so angry I shake the next. I always chalked it up to being a cranky teenager, who was going through a phase.
The last few years things have been really progressing at a scary rate. Along with the moodiness, I have lacked the desire to do anything. Don't want to go out with friends etc. I lived alone, and stayed alone. Went to work and came home, days where I wouldn't even talk to anyone. Then, I would go stir crazy and beg people to go and do things, no matter what time of day. (usually night).
I have always had trouble shutting my brain off and falling asleep. It generally has always taken me at least an hour to two hours to fall asleep. Or there are times when I'm not tired at all or I cannot force myself to go to bed and try and get rest.
A couple of years ago I finally decided to get things checked into. The doctor decided it was stress of the recent passing of my step father and prescribed me anxiety medication. The first made me a zombie, the other zapped my sex drive so I discontinued it, feeling more like the doctor didn't really listen to what I had to say. I lived in a small town so options were thin.
I have been unmedicated since. I have gone through different phases. One of which being rather more promiscuous than I am proud of. Luckily during that time I met my current boyfriend and have been in a relatively stable relationship for almost 2 years.
The problem is, the moods and sudden outbursts of jealousy and extreme anger over nothing is really starting to cause a problem. Every person that I have talked to about thinking that there may be more to it than just being "moody" says there isn't anything wrong with me. While at the same time, during fights they say how difficult I am because of the moods.
I am rarely getting any sleep again (it goes in cycles. Sometimes I can go to bed and get a decent night sleep if i force myself to go to bed. Other times, like tonight, I feel like there is too much to do and that I don't need to sleep). I'm really just starting to feel like I am losing my mind. The constant battle between the up and down is starting to take a toll on my thoughts. I am in constant fear that I'm one day going to have too many "episodes" and that everything around me will just fall apart. My boyfriend has been patient. I've tried vitamins, tried changing my thought process to not get so angry. But I feel like no progress has been made.
I don't know if I am in the right board. I just have no one that I can talk to about the feelings and emotions that I have, because no one understands it. Does anyone know what might be the cause of this? Is there something wrong with me?View Thread