I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was very young, and by the time I graduated high school I couldn't stand the fatigue and cognitive slowing of the medications. I've been off them for five years and excelled as a student; I'm now in grad school.
Recently, though, I read that allowing bipolar to go unmedicated will result in long-term brain damage and cognitive decline. Plus, to be honest, my success has been less of a result of hard work and more of a natural talent for test-taking. My actual motivation to work is low and, some days, nonexistent; some days, my inability to plan and organize leaves me utterly unable to act; and what's more, I'm beginning to lose the ability to remember what I've read. Still, a brief stint on lamictal and wellbutrin last year only made these things worse, and, to add insult to injury, also killed my libido.
So I'm stuck. I clearly need medication, but I'm afraid of losing my intelligence to it. I'm also very fit and don't want to destroy my metabolism with antipsychotics. What can I do? Can anyone alleviate my anxiety here?View Thread