I am in so much pain and am grieving yet again! I want to kill myself and get it over with! The pain of living is too much! I have the building picked out! I will never live with a fall that huge! I will be a broken bag of bones just like I feel! I can't live everyday feeling like this and my family seeing me like this! I cry a lot and some times don't even know why. I am manic depressed/ Bipolor, PTSD, and High anxiety! I have been dx and tx with meds that don't work! I am hopeless! I have two daughters who try their best to cheer me up and before they would have, but this last 2 weeks I have been so bad that I can barely hear what anyone has to say! I feel a huge hole in my chest like a shotgun hole, I wish! My babies need me and my family would be sad but I know that everyone would be happier if I wasn't whining about my problems and asking for help. I am a burden to everyone! I an going to do the world a favor by getting out of it! I am cold and my heart is about completely frozen to the point where I don't care about anything but dying and not being in pain anymore! I don't want to leave my girls but I think they would be better off not having the pain of seeing and feeling my pain when I can't help but show it! My oldest blames herself for my depression because she convinced me to leave an abusive boyfriend 2 weeks ago but I have been feeling this way most of my life and the worst for a couple months now! I need to be on meds but I need to find a very good counselor and we are homeless now and I can't get established with one til I know where we will be living. Til then I need to talk to someone or I will not make it out of this this time! Is there a support group in my area that I can join? Denver CO 80219
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