I am the husband of my high school sweetheart. We have been married for 22 years, but dated 10 years prior to getting married. We are both 49 years old and met when we were juniors in high school. Roughly 7 years ago, my wife suffered a major psychotic break/episode, that led to her being placed in a Mental Health facility for a week. She was never actually given a singular/specific diagnosis, however, the reference to bipolar was mentioned. She was place on a variety of meds and eventually recovered. Combined with a deepening of her Christian faith, she felt so confident that after roughly 2 years of taking her meds, she stopped - so she's been med-free for almost 5 years now. Over the past several weeks/months, and particularly over the last few days, I have begun to notice some very concerning signs. She isn't sleeping well. Her speech is extremely irratic, fast-paced and disjointed. She seems extremely moody, very quick to anger, very quick to become emotional. In short, I am extremely concerned that we might be heading down a path that could lead to a place we found ourselves 7 years ago. My heart races with my own anxiety when I see her this way. We have 3 kids, aged 19, 16 and 12. I sooooo don't want them to be adversely impacted by anything that is happening, or, might happen... I believe I am going to have to sit down with my wife and discuss what I am seeing. I guess I might even have to suggest that we see a Psychiatrist... I posting here as I really don't have anyone to speak to about this situation, as nobody can fully understand or appreciate the situation. If anyone out there has any supportive words of wisdom/advice, I am all ears. I love my wife dearly and I am committed to helping her in any way possible... I pray that what I am seeing is only a momentary situation and not the beginnings of a more serious problem. However, the signs are so strong... Thanks for allowing me to share and again, appreciate any and all feedback. Thank you... View Thread
Hello everyone... So, it's been roughly 4 months since my wife's psychotic break. She see's her Psychiatrist once a month, as well as her therapist... She has been on 5mg of Abilify since the incident and after they were able to stabilize her with much stronger meds. I guess I'm writing, if no other reason than to simply purge... My wife is simply not the person she once was. I'm filled with such a wide range of thoughts and emotions... It's probably wrong for me to have any expectations of her and certainly, to expect that she would be anything like the woman she was prior to her illness. Today, while she is able to function in just about every way our society would expect of a wife and mother, the truth is she is half the woman she used to be. She uis mainly "just there"... She demonstrates very little, if any emotion, excitement, or even sadness... Which I would have to assume is the impact of the Abilify and which, I would guess is a good thing. Certainly, her break downs have been first initiated by manic, incredibly emotional moments... However, I won't lie...it's very challenging to see her in this sort of state. She's not a zombie... but, she is clearly not able to "engage' in conversation/relationships to any meaningful degree. Last night was a perfect example. Our daughter came home from college for the day and stayed for dinner last night. My wife had very little, barely anything to say... If I didn't speak up and create conversation, I think the entire dinner would've been held in silence... She just stares off with a rather blank look in her eyes... I've been thinking about asking her directly, how she feels and if she is ok with the way she feels... I guess I should do that soon. I was also thinking of calling her Psychiatrist... I just don't want to be an alarmist. Maybe this is the way it's all supposed to be now? In order to keep her safe and functional, perhaps this is the state of state that needs to be?? As I have stated above, I am a deeply faithful person... I turn to Christ, daily... I pray for His peace, His mercy and His love for my wife and my family. I know that nobody is promised a perfect life and that all of us have our own crosses to bear... And that through it all, we are to cling to Jesus and glorfiy Him. There is no question in my mind that without my faith and relationship with Jesus, my situation would be significantly worse. So I am learning to accept my situation and not become a martyr because of it. I am thankful that my wife still lives and breathes... that she is able to enjoy our children. That we can still keep our relationship in tact. I don't know what the future holds on this very confusing and challenging ride we are on... I've been told by many that the chances of my wife having additional psychotic episodes are very high... And so, I lean on God to help prepare me for those days, as well as to help guide me through today... Thanks for letting get a few thoughts off my chest guys...View Thread
Hello guys. It's been about a month since the horrific incident of my wife's acute psychotic episode. After I wrote the above post, which was after she came home at 3am, later that day she went into a full-blown psychotic/dellusional/paranoid crisis... It was the scariest, saddest thing I have ever witnessed. She ended up in a psychotic holding facility until they were able to stabilize her. And then transferred to a behavioral health hospital for 7 days. After trying a few different meds and dosages, she is now on Abilify and often takes a sleeping pill to help her sleep at night. She attends a group therapy program 3 days a week and will start to see a therapist, one on one, in roughly 2 weeks. I wish I can make her happy, content, comfortable with who she is... We have such a great life. Money is not an issue. 3 beautiful kids. To me, she resembles a sailboat that is aimlessly drifting through the water without a rudder to help steer it... She just doesn't have a rudder in the water... Very complicated situation. For me, I have to continue to work to place all of this in a healthy, productive and constructive context... I am a strong believer in Jesus Christ and I know that he does not give us anything we can't handle. And that trials are often used by Him to draw us closer to Him. To deepen our faith. And that is what I'm doing. Somehow, I have to believe that the Lord created my wife with, all of her great qualities and yet - the Bipolar too - for a very specific purpose. I just pray that He will show her mercy and grace and allow her to realize her full potential as a child of God. Loved for who she is... I must also say how frustrating it is dealing with hospitals and doctors when it comes to mental illness. I swear I can write a book about the experiences we have had since that fateful day. So disheartening... There is still sooooo much that "they" jsut don't know... Amazing...View Thread
Thank you Matt and jselleck. So, my wife ended up having a psychotic break yesterday. She was at a yoga class and toward the end if the class, she snapped.
She was sent by ambulance to an ER, where she remained for roughly 10 hours. Once she was hydrated and got some sleep, she came back to us and was lucid once again. Still, the clinician in the ER strongly suggested that she be placed into a Behavioral Health facility, which is when they made that transfer at roughly midnight. At 3am, I received a call from my wife who said the facility deemed that she was not in need of inpatient care. We need to get to her Psychiatrist first thing this morning however...
I saw the signs building yet, I was not able to prevent the breakdown... I feel terrible - for her... She is a beautiful, loving and caring woman and does not deserve to be so tormented... She is a huge people pleaser and has never been able to say "no" to anyone. She takes on the full weight of the world and allows herself to become stretched and stressed to the point of total exhaustion. Somehow... Someway, she will need to develop better living/life skills that prevent her from getting to then point where her mind and body completely collapse.
Appreciate the opportunity to share...View Thread
Thanks for the reply Debbie... So, after another sleepless night last night, this morning I mentioned to my wife that we should perhaps consider seeing a doctor. Well - she flipped out... Screaming at me that she is capable of "fixing" herself. That I should worry about me and she will worry about her... I knew this was not going to be easy. She is incredibly stubborn. I'm going to have to be very careful about how I deal with this going forward. We live apart from the rest of our families, so we're out here in AZ all alone. However, she does have a sister in Seattle who I can confide in and who might be able to have some influence on my wife. This is going to be a rocky, challenging road... Ugghhhh....View Thread