Hello. I am new to this and I need some help. I was diagnosed with BiPolar two in 2008, and ADHD-inattentive in 2011. I had a normal upbringing but have always been on the moody side and have always talked fast, would stay up for hours cleaning when I was old enough to do so. I had a child at 25 and since then my life has dramatically gone down hill. I still have episodes of being happy once in a while, but mostly I'm overly depressed, unless I'm doing something that "makes me feel better". I can not have a normal relationship with a man. I have done things that I never thought I was capable of doing, and in turn feeling extreme guilt over doing it. I have now lost my job for the second time, only this time I didn't just quit...I lost it because I was on medical leave and my FMLA was over. I'm still not sure I could go back to work because stress sends me over the edge. I am currently taking 750mg of Depakote, 250mg of Effexor, and Amphetamine for ADHD. The meds do help, but I'm alone, I'm a single parent. I have no one who understands what this feels like. I get varied reactions when I explain or try to explain what it feels like...not that that's an easy task... I still (even after five years) have a hard time understanding it, nevermind explaining to an "outsider". My parents are the worst...I know that they love me and care but are completely hopeless at understanding or helping me. I am almost 34 and I feel like a helpless child. I also have a child who was diagnosed with ADHD-combined type, anxiety, depression, and ODD. Trying to help him and understand him is so hard when I can't even control my life!!! I am seeing a therapist, she's great, but not a specialist in this field. There are not many psychiatrists (I don't think my current one likes me) around who know much about this. I live in a very rural area...not much help to be had. I am applying for SSDI OR SSI, I can't remember for both me and my kid, but I keep hearing horror stories about how people are always denied the first time around, and to be perfectly honest, I can't survive much longer without income! I have STD at the moment but that will be up on 6/11/13. After that, it's either unemployment (which I may not be able to get) or welfare...and we all know that has a HUGE stigma attached. I feel so helpless, hopeless...and alone... I don't know what to do! I want to go back to school but, financially I'm not sure I can and fear/stress have me paralyzed.View Thread
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