Back home from my inpatient stay with a whole new medication regime that I have to learn. I feel much better though. The persistent nausea is supposedly due to one of the new meds and will likely dissiplate over time. Let's hope. I start my IOP program next Wednesday, so I have today, the weekend and then Monday and Tuesday to make it through. My pdoc switched up my anti anxiety meds, so now I'm not feeling like such a zombie. My future in-laws are coming in from Virginia today to visit me for the weekend. This is the first they know of my bipolar, so I'm nervous about having to explain myself. In the end though, it's better for me and my fiance' that they know.
Anyone have any advice on how to educate people who know nothing about the illness? Any advice is appreciated.View Thread
My Zen mood from Friday and Saturday has evaporated. I am in a very anxious state, had to go back on the Xanax. Feel like everything good is hidden from me again. Fiance' and I talked about getting me inpatient, I decided yes and called them up, they have NO beds. So, I have to try to make it at home while a bed opens up. It will be very difficult on Monday, when my fiance' is at work and I'm all alone here. Hopefully a bed will open up on Monday.
Has anyone else experienced such a sudden mood shift? I feel like I'm certifiably crazy here.View Thread
I'm actual feeling hopeful! Starting yesterday I haven't had to take any Xanax for my anxiety, and not being in a drugged up state is WONDERFUL! Let me tell you! It's far too soon for the Remeron to be working on my anxiety, so I don't know what's going on, but I'm not going to complain.
This gets me to thinking how fragile everything is. I've been blessed (and I'm not a religious person, but this is how it feels, the most apt characterization) with two full days of no anxiety, and no meds needed. Why? How long will it last?
What brought it on? My fiance' commented that suddenly I "am back" and "participating in life again". I want to "keep this up" but somewhat feel like I don't have a say in the matter. It's like I was given the gift of sanity, and it might be collected from me at any moment.
I'm still waiting to get into an outpatient program (wait time of 1 week now), I'm still not working, and know that this cannot go on forever. I have to go back to work eventually, good or bad. I need money to live on.
My biggest thing is industry. I don't feel like I'm affecting any outcomes in my life=I don't feel industrious.
Still, at this moment I feel happy, and I'm going to enjoy it!View Thread
More on the outpatient saga...just heard back from the hospital and there is a THREE WEEK waiting period for their intensive outpatient program. Sigh. Now I'm not sure what to do. It seems I might be forced to go inpatient just to get some freaking mental health care. This just makes absolutely no sense. Going inpatient, is, for me at this time, overkill. But I need something to help me here. Staying home alone all day is going to drive me crazy. Waiting three weeks is not an option.
So, instead of going inpatient (I didn't want to leave my fiance'), I've decided with my doctor's input, to go to an outpatient program so I have something to do with my days. Otherwise they are far too lonely here all alone.
He changed my meds, took me off Abilify and Ambien and put me on Remeron instead. But the pharmacist told me it would take 4-6 weeks before I'd notice any mood changes on the Remeron. Frustrating.
How can I last like this for 4-6 more weeks before noticing a change? I just don't feel like I have enough umph left in me to make it the distance. I know things will get better, but the business of getting "better" sucks.
Anyone been in an outpatient group program than can comment on what to expect/how it worked for you, etc? I'm cautiously optimistic.View Thread
I posted here a few days ago that I was hospital bound, but have since decided to try to recover at home. I'm starting back on 10mg of Abilify, and am taking up to four doses a day of Xanax to help when the anxiety springs up. I'm hopeful that as the Abilify gets back into my system that things stabilize and I will need the Xanax less and less. I'm taking a medical leave from work for a few weeks. Just can't face going into my day to day job.
I don't want to jeopardize my job by being unstable there, but the days at home alone stretch out into a vast expanse. My fiance' is obviously not able to stay home every day with me, although he is on call to come home early if need be and work from home. I feel guilty calling him all upset, so am trying to just deal with it myself.
This has been over three weeks of not feeling like myself, having massive anxiety, etc. I'm ready to be back to good.
Anyone else out there recover from a mood episode at home? I have my therapy appointment tomorrow morning and then see my psychiatrist on Wednesday afternoon. Maybe he'll up the Abilify dose, maybe he'll still recommend that I admit myself to the hospital. I just feel that trying to recover at home is the least invasive way of going about things.
Thanks for your response. Yes, I have the shades and windows open (it's beautiful weather even in August where I'm at!) so the breeze is trickling in and I can hear the birds chirping. I've been trying to get outside as much as possible, whether it's to go for a latte, or a walk. Anything to get me outside and in real life.
I've been talking to my family and friends via email and phone, and my fiance' has been making it a priority to come home from work early each day to spend time with me. We're making it work. I see my psychiatrist tomorrow afternoon. We'll see what he says. If he's still adamant on the inpatient route, I just might say yes. Recovering at home is difficult when you're by yourself most of the time. Perhaps the hospital is the place for me.