I think you are totally right...like my what if thinking...my mind doesn't know it is fake some that I have just thought up...if we only use 10% of our brian inagime what we could do if we eused it all. I like this post...interseting sybject...I am typing in the dark so please over look mistakes!!!!! I hope this will get some other thoughts...truth or fition...the body can't determine!!!!!View Thread
I am quite depressed, thing is I think I have been for a very long time...as I at one time only struggled with mania and sleep issues, but thinking I wish I wasn't here is common place and has been that way for years...sometimes passive like I wish I wouldn't wake up and other times thinking seriously of ending it, but knowing because of the type of mortgage I have my 24 yr. old son would have to move. I need some med. but I so HATE antidepressiants...they make me feel numb and without feelings.
I love the commercials where the woman is all sad and in bed with depressio and then after drugs she is out at a cook out laughing with would be friends...I have no fiends...rarely ever have...I have sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much fear friend present the unknown for me and my home is safe. I have only really begun to see how down right dyfunctional I am...Any med suggestions...I am also nervous all the time ...knots in my stomas just normal...Thanks for listening.View Thread
Thanks faithmountain...I haven't been on here in awhile...trying to keep up with who is posting where even became stressful...I am depressed and as it seems I got my app. date wrong...when I went to see about the time...I figured out that I was a week early...it is actually this mon. I feel stressed at the least things and we live in a very small town so even outpatient care would mean travel time...I am trying HARD to tough it out...I try to stay in the moment as much as I can and focus on one day...sometimes I don't do well but I try. I have noticed I can barely watch tv...if it is something good like movie...I get invested in it and FORGET how bad I feel...then when it's over I feel my dar cloud fall on me ...like hey you forgot your life sucks...I had a severe panic attack I couldn't breathe slowly enough to get the anxiety meds down my throat...it was bad and I don't pay that much attention to movies now...and keep reminding myself...hey life sucks for you don't forget...crazy I know...but right now my life is crazy
I have continue somehow to go to work, however there is a gay woman there and I am so pitiful and needy I could do something I regretted, as I have walked down that road before and it was sheer chaos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mostly just try to make it through one day with nearly no sleep...I don't even know what I am looking forward to at this point...seems I am trying to swim through quick sand....Prayers please. View Thread
Thank u both for your thoughts!!!!! I am pretty much alone...sons, dad...a mom that depends on me for everything...I have no "place" in my life for down time...I get up out of bed cause someone whould show up telling me to pull it together!!!! I have no support system...It is a reason that my son lives here...things would be much different if he didn't...I go to doc Monday, but most of the time...put on a good face even for her....View Thread
I have a tough time finding a reason to get up...get to the shower..get to the things I must do during the day...I once had a therapist that said that was waht he faced most with bipolar folks...lack of incentive. Any thoughts or tips!!!View Thread